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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU new house neighbour dilemma

80 replies

Tinkerbell1989 · 13/05/2019 07:46

Just bought a lovely new house had been and checked it out lots as have a bit of grass in front of it and was worried we would have groups of people hanging around. All seemed good until the weekend we moved in and the people opposite have erected a goal post where their kids and all their friends play right in front of our kitchen/diner window. There is a large park to the left of us - no more than 100 metres- why can’t they play there?! AIBU do I say something - it’s been 3 weeks and they are out there every day and the dad is now joining in!

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 13/05/2019 09:50

Ps have they actually hit your cars? If not then it does feel like you’re making something out of nothing, if they have then you’d be well in your rights to ask them to redirect play so your car isn’t in the line of fire.

PuppyMonkey · 13/05/2019 09:55

I would find this annoying and intrusive too OP. Also, I have this thing where I only have to hear the sound of a football bouncing in a park or etc and the next moment it’s smacking me on the head nearly knocking me out. Does anyone else suffer similarly?Grin

WalkingDownMadison · 13/05/2019 10:19

The constant thudding and smashing of footballs is not comparable to a few kids playing reasonably outside on a small area of grass. It's common sense and basic consideration. If park is so close why can't they play football there?

Thesuzle · 13/05/2019 10:36

Nip it in the bud now or you will wake up one day to a bloody great trampoline.... (my pet hate as some of you may recall)

Sn0tnose · 13/05/2019 10:49

SnOtnose I'd like to think you're right, but years of experience tells me otherwise. We live in a 'nice' area, but no amount of polite requests ever made the slightest difference. Still the balls would come hurtling up to our front window, hitting or breaking plants on the way, and kids constantly running into our front garden and peering in the window to see whether we'd noticed...I don't know whether it made a difference that the kids mostly lived in rented houses

Ahh, you see by MN standards I don’t live in a ‘nice’ area and never have. I’d say that around 90% of the houses here are social housing and the rest are a mix of privately owned and rented. And yet there is a huge sense of community and none of the kids here run riot and upset the neighbours. I’ve had the exact opposite experience in that the only time kids were causing problems (throwing stones at cars) they lived in one of the private houses. Fortunately, they’ve sold up and now it’s rented out.

Original poster
Tinkerbell1989 · 13/05/2019 10:55

Exactly I have no issues with people playing there it’s the footballs and more so the goal post and at times we are talking ten children have been about where all their friends are over. The park is literally from their goal post one house away- and that’s the part I can’t understand. It is by no means my grass or my land but I just feel if I were in their situation I wouldn’t be doing it. We have only lived here a few weeks and it went up the day after we moved in. As of yet it has not hit our cars but has been rolling around and flying past and I feel like it’s only a matter of time but I feel ridiculous bringing it up to the parents and to me if they were reasonable they probably would have said to go to the park or at least taken them there when they were out with them?

OP posts:
howlongcanausernamebebeforeits · 13/05/2019 11:02

@PuppyMonkey 🙋🏼‍♀️ yes, if there is a ball being kicked I will somehow end up in its path. Even when I try to walk the opposite way. Somehow I end up running and looking up at it and panicking.

somecakefather · 13/05/2019 11:16

I don't know whether it made a difference that the kids mostly lived in rented houses

Do kids from privately owned houses not play outside where you live? I live in an estate of mixed bought and rented houses and thank goodness all the kids are friends, no-one's labelled.

Original poster
Tinkerbell1989 · 13/05/2019 11:21

Imagine if a trampoline gets out there! I should count my blessings it hasn’t escalated to that point haha

OP posts:
somecakefather · 13/05/2019 11:40

Imagine if a trampoline gets out there! I should count my blessings it hasn’t escalated to that point haha

Oh god. My neighbours over the fence have a huge trampoline. All I hear from their children if I can go into the garden is "Hey, hey, hey you Mrs." I look up and say "Yes, hello", and the children just stare blankly at me😆, tis all very strange.

PamelaX · 13/05/2019 11:53

I don't understand posters. My own kids are told to go away from the house to play football, and keep to the other side of the house away from my windows.

How can this be unreasonable to anyone?

Original poster
Tinkerbell1989 · 13/05/2019 18:40

Thanks! I think this is all I want really - it just seems a little inconsiderate but I don’t want to be ‘that neighbour ’. Also have looked for the referenced pot thread but I can’t find it!

OP posts:
flumpybear · 14/05/2019 06:30

Get an old scrap car and put it outside their window in the communal grass, tell them car banger racing and fixing is your hobby 😜

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 14/05/2019 06:38

Personally I don’t see the issue, it’s doesn't matter if there is a park, there is an open communal grassed area that is being enjoyed by the neighbourhood.

Good on the kids and there families for being outdoors and not being stuck looking at a square.

When I was younger children were always seen playing outside, nowadays it’s just rare.

YABU

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 14/05/2019 06:42

I don't understand posters. My own kids are told to go away from the house to play football, and keep to the other side of the house away from my windows.

How can this be unreasonable to anyone

From the diagram the goals post are in the opposite directing from her driveway and then her windows.

So it’s not like the kids are going her misses, your Windows are my target today!

Also OP hasn’t even moved in, she’s simply just witnessed children playing in the communal grasses area with an adult.

waterrat · 14/05/2019 06:42

Op - the reason they don't go to the park is because it is much simpler and easier to play outside their own home.

THere is a reason children are obese and unhealthy - it's because they are being denied the opportunity to play in so many ways.

Let them play on their doorstep, it builds the community, it makes the neighbourhood safer, it helps you get to know your neighbours.

We are getting so used to silent streets filled with parked cars - the norm 20 years ago was streets filled with children.

my2bundles · 14/05/2019 06:45

How old are the children?

strawberrisc · 14/05/2019 06:46

It’s not lovely it’s really fucking annoying.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 14/05/2019 06:47

@bogglesgoggles - generalisation much!

Just like it’s part of Australian culture for all Aussies to be sexist, racist, cork hat wearers going round telling everyone Stralia is the best country in the world with a BBQ fork in their hand?

Sometimes I think this place is full of nutters.

Fortunately for you TheMaddhugger has redeemed your fellow compatriots with her humour.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 14/05/2019 06:50

waterrat

Op - the reason they don't go to the park is because it is much simpler and easier to play outside their own home.

Not always the case, my 9 year old plays out on the communal grass area of our home as he can’t go to the park as he has grade 6 allergies to dogs, he doesn’t need to be in direct contact with dogs to do into anaphylaxis.

He also has a friend who is petrified of dogs, and he also cannot use the park due to this.

Mumofone1593 · 14/05/2019 06:50

It's hard as I wouldn't like it BUT from living in front of a 'green' before I would purposefully never choose a house with a communal area in front of it. I totally get in your situation you wouldn't have known as was a new business of, but not much you can do, they will soon grow up and hate playing though!

Mumofone1593 · 14/05/2019 06:50

How did build autocorrect to businesses!

Nanny0gg · 14/05/2019 06:54

If it's being used for football it's not communal. Any children wanting to play something else will be in the way and will get balls flying at them. And it's a real pain when it's used by kids who don't even live there

ABadlyShavedYeti · 14/05/2019 07:02

I feel for you op, where I used to live it was in blocks of 3 houses, we had the house, a path that ran all the way in front of the houses and then grass, all fenced in with a lovely metal fence, so we didn’t have a front lawn, it was communal grass.

Every bloody summer the end house would play football, there was a green space about 20 seconds away, but no, they had to play right outside the houses, and my end house was always the goal area.

Every day for hours the ball would be smashed into my door, my kitchen window which one day got smashed and the metal fence. It would go on for hours, every day. They weren’t little kids either but almost adults. Drove me round the fucking bend.

In the end if the drove me too mad I just used to let the dog out and would burst the football, “oops sorry, he just slipped past me”, you couldn’t even walk out of the door without almost getting hit by the ball. So glad we moved.

Marmablade · 14/05/2019 07:10

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

Are we reading the same OP?

All seemed good until the weekend we moved in... AIBU do I say something - it’s been 3 weeks

You said Also OP hasn’t even moved in, she’s simply just witnessed children playing in the communal grasses area with an adult.

She did. 3 weeks ago.