Irrationally angry at ex

[Iamnotagoddess]

Anyone else just find all the shit they pulled and still pull difficult to get over?

13 years on and I doesn’t take much to feel so enraged at how he cherry picked which bits of parenting he wanted to do, allowed his wife to treat our two kids like utter shit (giving them Tesco value food while they had Tesco finest, ditched them out for 5 holidays a year, let them (and me) down constantly not having them when he should have. Ditched out my son who he took on as his own and allowed to call him “dad”.m

Any “extra” time he had the kids (which technically was never) he made me “pay back” - I loved spending time with them but sometimes I had plans which I ha to cancel.

The thing that really really still hurts me is that DDs prom. I saved up for ages and paid for her dress, nails, hair and shoes. He contributed nothing. She asks him to take her as he has a vintage car. He turned up 3 hours early, with his wife, just as she was ready and took her to a local beauty spot and took loads of photos with her. I didn’t get one photo taken with her. I know that’s petty and trivial but her step mother has spent 13 years being the most massive bitch to me and now they are adults he ignores me like I am completely insignificant and tells everyone I am a “psycho” (clearly not bad enough mental health issues not to be capable of bringing up his kids).

ARGH I need to let it go I know.

I went out of my way to be lovely to DHs ex and mother of my step children

Ranting felt better

Anyone

Don't have anything to share but didn't want you to go ignored, that sounds like shit.

I work as a mediator and the stories I hear of parents behaving badly are just incredible. I often wonder how people can behave so horribly to someone they once loved enough to have children with. When I challenge people on their bad behaviour (and I do) they seem surprised and always try to justify/blame.

That sounds so shitty I’m not surprised you’re so pissed off with him.

I am also a “psycho ex” (amongst other things) according to my violent ex and father to my children. I’m less angry than I was- or maybe I’m finding it easier to suppress these days?- but certain behaviours trigger me and those who know me end up on the business end of a rant about what a total cunt he is. I’ve had a fair bit of counselling which has helped. I really didn’t want to spend the rest of my days being angry at him for my own sake because I’m a firm believer in the saying that being angry is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. You only hurt yourself.

Thank you 🙏

I think it’s being now, like an insignificant piece of shit rather than the person who brought up his kids while he was swanning around the world learning to dive and choosing to be with a women who put her own kid into care and didn’t give a flying fuck about his kids.

Nah he is a c**t. However your kids will want less to do with him and won't forget how he treated them.
Karma will do it's job.
You've taken the higher ground so you are entitled to feel smug about being the better person.

I feel exactly the same about my ex. Kids will eventually find out who the supportive parent really is, so just give it time. X