To be annoyed at people’s comments

[Firesidetreats1]

So it’s just a bit of a rant really, but why do people feel the need to compare the size of bumps to other pregnant people or comment on the size of your bump! It’s bizarre! And also comment on how you’re going to cope as a parent!? I’m a ftm so obviously I don’t know what lies ahead but sometimes people just make you feel like shit! Has anyone else experience anything similar?

Yes! I had one friend say "You're getting bigger" every time I saw her. Well yes that's how it works.
And then: "Haven't you had it yet?" If I had had it I wouldn't still be bloody pregnant would I.

‘Have you put on weight?’ Every. Single. Time. I saw my grandma during my first pregnancy.
Well yes Grandma, I’m not growing the baby in the greenhouse am I?!

It's just what people say. I just would smile and ignore.

It's been a few years, but yeah I did used to get sooooo pissed off wth people comments when I was pregnant! 'Haven't you had that baby yet?' used to annoy me! And also 'Oh my GOD! You are HUGE!'

The worst one was...

'You life's over now. Mine are in their late teens and 20s now and so I have my life back.'

WTF? Some of us STILL have a 'life' when we have kids.

Eeeejits!

Ohh, wait til you have had the baby! 10 days AFTER I had had the first one, a colleague of DH's said 'you still look pregnant fatty!'

Cunt.

@HolyMilkBoobiesBatman

‘Have you put on weight?’ Every. Single. Time. I saw my grandma during my first pregnancy.

Well yes Grandma, I’m not growing the baby in the greenhouse am I?!

LOL!

You should totally patent that idea!!!

I had a guest at my house almost reel at the size of my bump when I opened the door to her. She immediately made a comment about how huge I was and then later said “ has the midwife spoken to you about how big you are”. Although I was big I was not more than 3cm over the standard size ( which I think is the measure). I didn’t know her well so didn’t really say anything in response ( like shut TFU which is what I wanted to say). Later on I was at Christmas lunch with all my extended family and as I started to tell them about this comment I burst into tears. There was a complete silence as everyone watched me weep into my turkey. I guess we can blame that one on the hormones.

Awww @Divebar What a mean twat having a go at your size.

Some people have literally NO emotional intelligence, and no thought for anyone's feelings, and how hurtful their comments can come across.

Alongside the 'your bump is too small / too big' comments, I had quite a few experiences of people commenting 'ooh you think your tired now, just wait until the baby arrives'.

Then when the baby arrives, at EVERY stage, the same type of person is like 'ooh if you think this is bad wait until they start walking / talking / start school / become a teenager- then you'll REALLY know what's hard'

So annoying! Every stage has hard bits and good bits - no idea why some people 'further along' in the parenthood experience want to diminish your current feelings and make out terrible stuff is around the corner!

With my last pregnancy -my smallest bump and least weight gain- I had colleagues, especially my manager, telling me constantly how massive I was, how my clothes did nothing for me, and that I couldn’t possibly get any bigger, but obviously I did 😒 but the worst was after I had my second, the midwife that did the home visit JIGGLED MY BELLY and said ‘that’s gonna take some work to get rid of’ 😐 people are arseholes.

Agree @littleskittle

Every stage of having kids is awesome, fascinating, stressful, wonderful, exciting, challenging, fun, rewarding, and just a wonderful journey.

Anyone who says 'oooh wait til THIS stage and THAT stage'obviously didn't have as much fun having kids as WE all did!

I had a complete stranger walk past me in the shopping centre...
As she walked behind me, I heard her say to her friend "Well she was definitely pregnant!"

thanks I hadn't noticed that one.

And a woman in a lift asked me how far along I was and then said "Gosh you look further along than that"

Why do people feel it necessary to say that? Ridiculous 😂 I can cope with most comments, I can hold my own but during pregnancy I was a bit of a delicate flower. It did get to me a bit.

'Are you sure it's not twins?' 😡🤬😡

Why are you upset though OP, bump too big or too small? I can't really see why the upset, people just try and engage with you innocently when pregnant

JulenSaor people try to engage in an entirely insensitive manner. That's the issue.

It's not "oh your bump looks beautiful?" Or "When are you due?" Or even "Do you know what you're going to have?"
Those are lovely bits of conversation.

The ones OP is talking about though are entirely insensitive and unnecessary.

Omg
Totally agree.
I'm sick to death of people saying 'let's see how big you are now' 'oh you're definitely growing' etc

Hate it!

ah @PlinkPlink is it not just down to perception though? "oh your bump looks beautiful" is a comment that gives me the creeps, I don't know why. "When are you due" is fine. The OP didn't really specify any other negative comments re. bump size. "how you’re going to cope as a parent!?" is the issue here. Who would even dare ask a second time mother that?

ig go massive when pregnant(put on 6 stone with the 8 y old,he was 8lb10 26 inches)

im my little welsh village in the valleys every one knows your business and most people knew i had fertility treatment to have him(4 years of clomid)

i also showed early and the comments i used to get was wow thats gone quick your ready to drop now,no love im still 5-6 months pregnant i got months left yet

or wow your that big is there more than 1 as i know he was FT

As far as I'm concerned, there's only one comment to make to a pregnant woman, which is how well they look. Unless they have already offered they feel like shit in which case, you do look a little tired is just about OK.

Though a thread a couple of weeks ago said the former was not OK as it was code for fat.

I keep getting the 'your bump is so small' and 'are you sure that is how far along you are?' comments. I have started to get really snarky about it, we are having fetal growth issues so it is a bit of a sore subject. People never stop to think if their comments will be upsetting for people going through pregnancy issues.
My answers are now:

• involuntary tears with for people I know. I can't help this one, I am pretty stressed out.
• No, I really have no idea how far along I am, you are right. Either does my highly qualified OB that is checking my baby's growth twice weekly, obviously!

Agree with PPs, the only acceptable thing to say is you look great :)

Smile and breath. Some people are utter twats

When you're a first time mum especially, people just like to patronise you any chance they get. Agree with the perpetually annoying "just wait til they...xyz" bullshit. What's the point? What are you meant to say? "Thanks for the tip, I'll begin dreading the next stage of my child's development right away" Another favourite is "you've got all this to come", right...and? Some people aren't happy unless they're passing their own misery onto someone else. I guess sometimes people are just trying to help. There's a difference between pregnant me planning on going back to the gym after the birth and a friend saying:
"Hopefully it will be fine but don't be surprised if it takes you longer to feel up to it than expected, totally normal"
And someone saying:
"HA! You'll be lucky to leave the sofa or have a piss in peace for the next 18 years! Just wait til you're on 20 mins sleep a night! You've got all this to come!"

A friend of mine is 32 weeks pregnant and every time she says how big she feels another friend will say something like "oh no your bump is so small and neat!" Or "my bump was bigger than that when I was 20 weeks!"

I know shes trying to be nice but I dont think this helps does it?

I just laugh when someone says "you're so small and neat" and 2 mins later someone says "ooh, you're huge"

I've had comments about lack of sleep and just wait til baby is here. I just tell them, it's actually my second so I know what's ahead and I still know I'll get better quality sleep with a newborn than being heavily pregnant.