To feel sorry for Sally Field's character in Mrs Doubtfire?

[Onlyaprawn]

DH thinks I am strange to have sympathy for Sally Field's character and think that Robin Williams' parenting is irresponsible. She ends up looking like the bad guy when she is just trying to do the right thing. He says he doesn't understand me - AIBU?

No, I get it. She is constantly frustrated and it is often the case (just not as extreme) that the mother is always the buzz killer, while daddy is the fun one. The hero even. I get he was trying to get close to his kids, but generally he was over the top, dismissive of their mothers attempts to keep the kids on the right track and annoying.

I agree it’s actually awful what he does to her, totally was a crap husband, then deceived and lied to her making her feel betrayed tried to ruin her new relationship and basically ruined her life!

I agree OP. Even remember my mum saying this when I was little and we were watching it!
(As an aside, I think Sally field is a phenomenal actress anyway)

I agree. And wasn't Kramer v Kramer like that, too? If Dustin Hoffman had been a decent guy in the first place their marriage would have survived. Instead he ended up with custody of their son.

Best divorce film ever - War of the Roses
In fact I’m going to watch it now

I thought that at the time.

Much as I absolutely loved Robin Williams, and I think Sally Field is incredible, that movie wouldn't be made today.

XH dresses up as a female nanny to get access to his children in his XWs home.

Twitter would implode.

As a kid I thought she was unreasonable

As an adult, I realise how much of a manipulative,gaslighting stalker he really is and she did everything she could

I always thought the film was quite sympathetic to her point of view - there's certainly no moment where you're expected to believe that she was unreasonable for divorcing him in the first place, as he was clearly a nightmare as a husband. It's nice that it doesn't make the Pierce Brosnan character a baddie, either.

...and I always tear up at his speech at the end - "...those are the ties that bind "

Definitely not unreasonable or strange!

I could be wrong as I haven't read it in a while, but my recollection is that the original book by Anne Fine is slightly more even-handed about acknowledging the mother's position? E.g. she gets to put her case about him not providing the kids with a safe place to visit him, and there are examples given of past behaviour which show that there's a genuine issue with him being irresponsible and a bit frightening. Whereas the film just seems to get swept along on a wave of "you must love Robin Williams!" .

Yanbu, I loved Robin Williams but I can't watch that film, it's just awful.

She’s not real, it’s film,. It’s from 30 ish years ago! 🤦‍♀️

As an aside the book was one of my favourite books as a child whose parents were divorced. It’s very good. I actually think about certain parts of it as an adult relatively often. Would recommend to anyone who’s getting divorced and has tween/teen kids.

Are we meant to not like her? I always thought she was totally reasonable (even when I watched as a child).

Thank you for explaining how films work, NannyRed

One of my favourites!

I agree I remember the scene when she comes home and there’s a wild party going on. Man child I think the term is.

Mrs Doubtfire was totally one a my favourite films, but even as a kid I thought that Robin William's character was a bit of a dick and felt sorry for the mum.

i cant feel sorry for a character - if it was in really life maybe. but not a written script for a hollywood film.

I love that horror movie recut, it's brilliant!

Its interesting as the Robin Williams character does exactly what MN (generally) says that they would do as a NRP, which is anything to see their children.

And FYI I think that the Sally Fields character is fantastic.

i cant feel sorry for a character

Fiction is just wasted on you, then?

The book is awesome, I love Anne Fine.

I can feel the love the dad has for his DC but I always feel very very sorry for Sally Field. She's being reasonable, rational and sensible.