To be mad at husband

[strawverrytart]

Went to play a game of football at 9:30 this morning and said he's be back by 12:30. Got a text at 1 saying football was just done and that he was going to the car (friends car as he gave him a lift).

To me that meant, "I'm on my way home" as he didn't mention otherwise.

After two hours I text and asked he was was. He said the pub and that he was leaving soon.

Another hour past and I asked what time he was coming back. He ignored me. Then another hour later he walks in.

AIBU to be pissed off? He says I am.

To add. I was at home dealing with toddler tantrums.

YANU

Yanbu , the selfish fucker

I would be annoyed too. Does he do this a lot of just today? If it was just a one off I would probably let it slide but if it’s a regular thing I would be having words.

I used to go out with and had a kid with a guy that did this sort of thing regularly every weekend. It was awful! Never knowing where he was whilst I was home with DS. 😭

So he was out most of the day without letting you know in advance? Definitely NBU to be annoyed.

YANBU. Typical that the man expects their life to carry on as before at the expense of their partner. You need to just start acting like he does, go out in the morning and don't come back. There's no other way to deal with it, having a go won't help.

In fairness, this isn't a regular thing and is a "one off" but this new football thing is going to be come a regular. I don't mind the two hours on a morning but a chunk of the day at the pub is annoying as I never get my own time.

His response was "so you're going to be in a huff with me every Sunday are you". NO TELL ME IN ADVANCE IF YOURE GOING OUT ALL DAY. At least that way I can plan something for me and kids!

YANBU.
My OH plays football every Sunday and thank god it's the end of the season soon!

We have set ground rules in place.

If he's going to go out for a drink after, that's fine, just let me know what time he'll be back.

Alternatively, if we have plans for the afternoon, he knows to come home straight after the match has finished.

YANBU. An update wouldn't have hurt

Yanbu. Can’t stand selfish behaviour

Every Sunday?

I never get my own time

The 1970s called and they want their parenting rules back.

It's 2019. If you're looking after your DC so he can play football, he should be returning the favour, so you get time to yourself too.

And, once you've got your me-time sorted while he's got the kids, try coming home 3 hours later and see how he likes it.

I think what he's trying to say it that not only is he going to football every Sunday, he's also going drinking. Enjoy! Which leaves Saturday, and you have to choose to have no time for yourself or no family time if you want things to be fair.

Sounds great.

Yeah this is what really annoys me. If I have "me time". There will never be family time!

In my experience this is normal for Sunday League Football, and this is why before kids I always volunteered to work either Nights or Long Day in Sunday because my ex use to end up in the pub all day with his team mates.

Just been informed it's happening on Tuesday night too

The pub, the football, or both?

I'm so glad my DP has no real interest in sport.

I'd have been fucking livid.

My dh gave up his sport begrudgingly before kids (his choice but he has dodgy knees). He’s obsessed with sport on TV which means he’s glued to his phone. My last dp wasn’t so fussed and I’m not sure I would ever marry a man so obsessed with sport.

Just been informed it's happening Tuesday too? No dear, that ain't the way it works. We discuss, negotiate, and compromise, equal pain on both sides. We're BOTH parents now, with obligations to the children coming before our wants as individuals.

Kids come first. Telling you it’s happening would make me furious. My dh always asks, I never dream of saying no, but it’s only polite and nice to make out you’re asking as opposed to telling someone. He can’t just devolve all childcare responsibilities to you. He’s a parent too.

Are you a SAHM? Is that why he thinks he can just dump the lot on you? Outrageous. ☹️

Selfish fucker.

No..sorry. every Sunday isnt on. That kind of thing was marvellous before children. But it has to go. DH has had to work this weekend and whilst I love DS it's been really hard without a break. I'd be livid if he was away for a whole day every week voluntarily.

YANBU, although it was a big day for football, with it being last day of the season. I would let it go as a one off, but if it becomes a regular thing, then have words!

Informed?

I hope you told him where to shove it.