Long post, apologies, but looking for input.
I split from my now ex wife three years ago. When I moved out we agreed we would coparent our children, and as she worked five nights on, five off at the time, I would have the kids when she was working.
She changed jobs six months after separating, working mixed shifts, but basically I would get the kids when she was working and the odd other day to give her time off.
It became more erratic trying to get the shifts from her that she was working (would change every month, no two weeks tended to be the same), so when I began divorce proceedings last year, I said to my solicitor that I wanted to get set days put in place as it would make my life a lot simpler knowing when I could plan stuff with the kids and when I could arrange to do things when they were with their Mum.
Basically she went mental at this, and stopped me from seeing the children for three weeks, believing that it was my girlfriend who was pushing for set days, and she refused to dance to her tune.
My parents got involved, and whilst they didn’t side with her exactly, they basically enabled her behaviour by volunteering to collect the kids from school when otherwise I would have been doing it.
Eventually after three long, horrendous and sleepless weeks, my ex relented and allowed me to have access to the kids again.
During this time that I was not allowed to see my boys social services were involved at the school as my eldest son reported to the school that his mother had assaulted him in the home. Nothing came of the investigation and she strenuously denied the allegation.
I basically have had no contact whatsoever with any of my family since I discovered this late last year, as I was absolutely speechless that my parents knew my son had reported this to the school, and didn’t inform me, believing that it wasn’t their responsibility, and that my ex should have told me.
My sister hasn’t spoken to me since this all happened as well as she is disgusted that my mum and I had a good relationship prior to this, but it has just left a bitter taste in my mouth that my parents not only enabled her behaviour, but didn’t tell me about social services being involved.
Since all of this I have managed to get set days in place, we take it week about, and the boys are thriving. I have started speaking to my mum maybe once every two weeks, but things aren’t really the same.
My girlfriend has basically stated that she wants nothing to do with them and as far as she is concerned they will never be a part of our lives going forward. Whilst I see her point, I would like at some point to be able to be in the same room as them and to get along again.
So, AIBU at being raging at how they acted, but also AIBU to ask for some sort of relationship with my parents going forward? I’m never going to get an apology from them for how they acted, but you only get one set of parents!