Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Next door's new decking area created privacy issues! AIBU?

47 replies

kerrycgeorgie · 12/05/2019 13:27

We are the end of a small terraced block of houses (4) with all the back gardens built at a gradient where the top of the garden is higher than the bottom by the house (new homes for you - but that's another issue)! Our next door neighbours who have been there for just over a year have now built a decking area which covers the whole width and top half of the garden. To accommodate the gradient (I assume) the decking is really high to the point that when they are on it I can see them up from their waist level so they can obviously see completely into our garden now and because of the layout of our house into our living room which is at the back of the house.
AIBU to be annoyed at this? I was hoping to get some tips on how best to handle this, reasonable steps to resolve. Obviously i don't expect them to dismantle it but higher fence or trellis could help. TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
kerrycgeorgie · 12/05/2019 15:46

The point about my 5 year old is that he is not talking over the fence - we can see them that clearly now that in his mind they are as visible as anyone in his own garden. We couldn't even see tops of heads before so it's a big change! Not that I need to justify but the decking only went in this week so he has only attempted communications a handful of times, and we have explained to him why he shouldn't.
I cannot tell high it is off the ground at the back but it's high enough at the front for steps up to it.

OP posts:
CCC1 · 12/05/2019 16:03

Could you build your own deck at the top of your garden and then top it with a big trampoline?

MirriVan · 12/05/2019 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkieTuscadero · 12/05/2019 16:14

Please don’t let your kid talk over the fence constantly, it’s a fucking nightmare and a sure-fire way to make sure you never have a good relationship with your neighbours.

Yeah, it would be awful if the OP annoyed her neighbours...

PinkieTuscadero · 12/05/2019 16:16

Encourage your 5 year old to chat up a storm, maybe the neighbours will suddenly find themselves with a new found passion for trellis.

RomanyQueen1 · 12/05/2019 16:19

Start talking loudly in your garden about the increase of rats in the garden. You have no idea where they are coming from but they must be under something.
You'll see them shift it pdq

IvanaPee · 12/05/2019 16:23

Yeah I’d let my five year old talk relentlessly to them.

It will either make them cop the fuck on, or they’ll be annoyed for the rest of their time there.

BMW6 · 12/05/2019 16:25

Oh I'd wave to them every time I saw them ensconced on high........and say "Oooh LOVE your "......

I reckon they're going to feel pretty stupid exposed for all to see

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 12/05/2019 16:30

Suggest to them that they remove the middle of the decking to build a rectangle sunken seating area - leaving the high decking just on the outsides ... with any luck that will be something they'll go for.

BobbaMom · 12/05/2019 16:34

My neighbour has done exactly the same except he has also put a hot tub up on the decking too. So now I get to see him half naked while I'm sat in my garden or living room. I'm at a loss myself how to deal with it, he isn't the most amenable of people and I don't really want to have a bad relationship with the neighbours, but he also fancies himself as a DJ and has decks and a mixer outside........

WaxOnFeckOff · 12/05/2019 16:34

I think in this situation the neighbours have caused the chatting issue so they may be amenable to some sort of solution. Could be the opener for a conversation. That way, you can explain your issues and they can explain theirs. It's a tough one as you both want to have enjoyment of your space.

Huskylover1 · 12/05/2019 16:49

How has this tackled the gradient? Surely it's now even worse?

ThanksItHasPockets · 12/05/2019 16:53

You should be able to check on your council's website whether or not they have planning permission for this.

harajukubabe · 12/05/2019 16:54

If you are lower than your neighbour you can plant some tall trees. Will look better than a fence

BogglesGoggles · 12/05/2019 16:55

One of the many reasons why decking should be outlawed.

CitadelsofScience · 12/05/2019 16:58

Our back garden is on a gradient but we've had top and bottom levelled out with two patios. New neighbours moved in last year knowing what our garden was like but goes around her own garden tutting because we can see directly in to her garden and back of the house because we are diagonally neighbours and we're up higher.

We are slowly building screening but have they done anything other than tut and roll their eyes, no, no they haven't. I feel like yelling over the fence "you shouldn't have bought it then you old bag" and telling her if she doesn't like it they can pay to have trellis up until our natural plant screening grows big enough and telling her to keep her kids off the trampoline that they bounce up on staring at us on our patio

ControversialFerret · 12/05/2019 17:02

Fargesia bamboo straight into the ground. It's a clumping rather than running variety so not invasive and very easy to control. Pull back the slate chips until you hit soil, plant the bamboo and then you can put the slate back again. You can buy it at a variety of heights so depending on how much you want to spend you could get some at 2m tall already which would provide instant privacy.

buckeejit · 12/05/2019 23:28

Yea, it's annoying but reasonable of them to want to make good use of their space. They are probably totally uninterested in looking in at you but you could just dig into the ground at intervals & plant some trees. Or ask if they're planning to plant anything to screen as it has exposed them/you.

DerrenBrownings · 12/05/2019 23:42

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5803609/Mother-one-hauled-court-new-2500-garden-decking-neighbours-said-high.html

Sorry for the DM link but this might help OP

Stormy76 · 13/05/2019 00:31

I would speak to them about the lack of privacy that thy have no doubt noticed as well on their ‘viewing platform’ ......loved that 😂. They can get some screening, it’s not a permanent fixture and it can look very nice giving them and you privacy and something pretty to look at. As for you dc chatting to them......afraid they asked for that when they made themselves so visible, screens or new fencing on their side and some bamboo or laurel bushes on yours. Laurel grows quickly and can get tall as well, I have seen 8ft laurel hedging but it does need to be looked after.

safariboot · 13/05/2019 00:36

If you're on good terms with them, I'd just ask if they were thinking of raising the fence now they've put in the deck.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread