Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breakfast choices...

27 replies

MyHomey · 12/05/2019 08:21

My DSD stays with us a lot and recently really likes a certain chocolate cereal. I forgot to get any in this weeks shop and she's being all sulky about it (she's 8yo).

The other options we have are:
Coco pops
Ready Brek
All bran (if she chose this I'd faint!)
Eggs, Bacon, Beans etc
Fruit (including nice berries etc)
Yoghurt

But it's like I'm asking her to eat sawdust or gruel!!! (We don't have any other children, so it's not like I've got them their favourite breakfast and she's feeling left out).

AIBU to be boiling up with anger inside?!!

OP posts:
Happyspud · 12/05/2019 08:23

These are important moments. You need to teach her that she needs to be flexible.

Might be a good time to get rid of the chocolate cereals completely.

HBStowe · 12/05/2019 08:24

I would also find this irritating, but don’t be angry! Kids are just fussy PITAs sometimes. Tell her she’s welcome to whatever alternative she wants and then just stop engaging with her about it. If she’s hungry, she’ll eventually pick something else. If she holds on to the sulk and refuses to eat anything else she won’t starve for missing one meal.

Ces6 · 12/05/2019 08:25

Boiling up with anger? Yabu. Pick your battles.

YouJustDoYou · 12/05/2019 08:26

Boiling over with anger over cereal? It's a bit extreme. Frustrated maybe. Just use it as a teaching moment - we don't have it, so you can't eat it. Walk away.

ZoeWashburne · 12/05/2019 08:27

This isn’t about the cereal. The cereal represents normalcy and routine for her. Establish your own routine at your house and ask for her help. (And yes, get rid of chocolate cereal, you might as well give her a mars bar).

JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/05/2019 08:28

I'm more concerned with your reaction than her behaviour. This just sounds like daily life with an 8yo girl.

If you are getting angry, I think you need to look at why. She's just a little girl.

WhiteVixen · 12/05/2019 08:28

‘Boiling up with anger’ may be a slight overreaction, but I have a 7yo and I appreciate how frustrating it is when they won’t just pick one of several perfectly good options when what they really want isn’t available. I’d just let her sulk. If she won’t eat anything then she goes hungry until lunch.

Original poster
MyHomey · 12/05/2019 08:30

Ok boiling up with anger was perhaps a little OTT! I just don't remember me or my siblings ever being able to dictate or feel like we were in a position to demand anything/be ungrateful if we didn't get what we want all the time!

My DH is now going through all the magical things he can make with eggs whilst she is starting vacantly past him at the tv 😂

I'm over it now, I think my venting on here helped!! And agree, maybe we should start ruling the out the sugary cereals anyway.

OP posts:
my2bundles · 12/05/2019 08:30

Boiling with anger, really? If I boiled with anger every time my kids had a strop I would have it several times a day. You haven't got any, tell her so then move on and let her strop.

RaptorWhiskers · 12/05/2019 08:31

I wouldn’t boil with anger. Just let her go hungry and sulk. Tbh she shouldn’t be having chocolate cereal anyway, except as a very occasional special treat. You’re setting up bad eating habits that will last a lifetime.

DonnaDarko · 12/05/2019 08:32

YABU to be boiling up with anger inside.

Give her the options. If she doesn't eat breakfast, then don't make it a big deal. She won't starve. If she's really hungry she'll cave in and eat something.

PamelaX · 12/05/2019 08:33

I'd offer her pancakes, ideally with nutella if you have. She is a kid

And chocolate cereals as a treat are fine.

1fluffydoodle · 12/05/2019 08:36

I know her behaviour isn't the best , but ignore the drama and suggest a treat like helping to make pancakes. That will hopefully diffuse the tension.

Fatted · 12/05/2019 08:45

Curious to know what it is if she doesn't want Coco pops?!

Tell her you're sorry you forgot it. You'll get some next time. But she can only have what's at home or nothing. Then leave it.

OP, there are bigger battles to lose your shit over than breakfast. I have two boys who regularly refuse to eat what we have (despite having 5 million varieties of cereal and baked goods just for them cos I don't eat cereal). They can eat it or not. No big deal.

Although you're both probably making it a bigger deal because she's your step daughter. She misses the regular comforts of home and might feel a bit like she's been forgotten about. You probably object to her coming in and not respecting your usual routine. But it's only a big deal if you let it be one. Tell her you're sorry. Reassure her you love having her there. But you can't give her what you don't have.

Original poster
MyHomey · 12/05/2019 08:54

Oh I don't think she has this cereal when she's at home! (It's Krave), we've only just started to have it here for the last couple of months (and I have to say, although unhealthy.. it is delicious!!) so I don't think there's anything to read into this psychologically. It's just tasty cereal!

I've known her since she was 3, and we have a great relationship, and she loves coming here; as do we love having her!

Tbh my post was supposed to be a bit more light hearted than it sounded I thought we'd all laugh about how unreasonable kids can be and do the whole "in my day I was lucky to have butter on my toast" type scenarios!

Pls don't worry! She's happy and looked after here, not sad and missing home! She spends nearly 50% time with us and both us and her mum have a great relationship!

She also tucking into some ready brek with honey... it's all good!

OP posts:
sashh · 12/05/2019 08:58

Imagine you and your dear partner have a special place you like to go to for weekends when you can. Maybe a cottage in Cornwall or a particular B and B in the lake district.

When you go there you always eat at a particular cafe that does one food that is out of this world.

It's part of your magical weekends, but one day you turn up and it has changed into a fish and chip shop.

No matter how nice the fish and chips are, and the staff being the same and the location being the same you are not happy.

This is what an 8 year old is feeling, but with an 8 year old's grasp of things.

BTW puberty is just around the corner so give your head a wobble and brace your self.

pictish · 12/05/2019 08:59

Krave?

Just sweeties for breakfast that shit. I let mine pick it for birthdays, holidays and Christmas only.

Anyway, yanbu but don’t let it make you angry. The worst case scenario is she’s hungry...but that’s her own choice. You don’t run a fucking cafe and she isn’t a paying customer so she can eat what’s there or go without.
Stay cool.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 12/05/2019 09:00

Kids can be so annoying Grin

It's very useful to learn the shrug and ignore when faced with unreasonable-ness, imo.

I specialise in saying "oh dear" and continue drinking my coffeeWink

notatwork · 12/05/2019 09:02

If anything like my youngest she's trying to control a part of her environment. It's understandable but when faced with ' you can't have this' she'll be at a loss what to have instead and a myriad of choices at that point makes it worse. Give her a while to regroup before offering alternatives..
3 choices is enough. She gets to help make it.

Theoldwoman · 12/05/2019 09:05

She's spoilt. Leave her be. You offer more choices than I do. We have:

2 x cereal
Toast with spreads
Eggs
Porridge
Baked beans/spaghetti
Smoothies
Fruit

Happyspud · 12/05/2019 09:10

I agree. 2-3 alternative choices is enough and then mine would get sent out of the room for pestering and whinging until they could come in and choose what IS available.

Twillow · 12/05/2019 09:24

YABU to be boiling up with anger inside!
Don't rise to it.

PinkHeartLovesCake · 12/05/2019 09:32

She’s 8, a child they aren’t really known for being reasonable to be honest.

No need to boil in anger, You claiming explain what’s on offer if she chooses no option then no breakfast....

C8H10N4O2 · 12/05/2019 09:36

It's part of your magical weekends, but one day you turn up and it has changed into a fish and chip shop

Oh come on seriously? Its not a "magical holiday weekend". Its her home 50% of the time. I don't think its the OP who needs to give her head a wobble.

OP: let her get on with it. She will have forgotten it before your DP has finished running through his repertoire of eggs.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/05/2019 09:38

Oh I also agree that too many choices makes things worse, not better. Keep it simple, you are not a cafe!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.