to ask if this is offensive?

[Nenuco]

So my friend and I were talking about losing weight. She said she started at 130kg, 170cms. She's been doing the bars diet for 12 weeks now - she eats 4 bars of meal replacement a day. I told her I am also trying to lose weight (I'm around 75kg, same height) and I am doing IF + low carb.

She asked me, "how is that sustainable?"

I explained to her the science behind it. And asked her what she's going to transition to once she's lost the weight.

And she goes, "is this diet because of the culture you came from?"

I was perplexed, because, uhm, eating protein and veg is cultural? I told her in my culture, people eat rice with meals 3x a day.

Was that offensive? Someone told me she was being racist, but I thought she was just clueless.

Thoughts?

And asked her what she's going to transition to once she's lost the weight.

What?

*What?"

She's been eating only bars right? So what food is she going to eat once she's lost the weight since she plans to eat bars until she's in her normal weight.

Bloody hell! If anything’s unsustainable it’s a diet made of bars or shakes. Your friend is simply a twit.

No, I don't think she was being deliberately offensive or racist at all. Ignorant, sure. Evidently she was just carrying on the conversation and trying to find out more about your diet and if it had any cultural links. Nothing more. This constant need to be offended or worried about whether or not you should be offended over such juvenile things is beyond ridiculous and pathetic now.

I think she sounds terrible! Who says that about someone's culture? Wtf has your culture got to do with low carb!

Your question to her was valid. Is she suddenly going to revert to three solid meals a day after eating 4 bars of crap a day??

She's naive at best and at worst, has negative thoughts of your culture.

She was being ignorant at best, racist at worse. I'd go with ignorant.

And I am genuinely curious what happens when the bars aren't needed.

Not sure about racist but she does sound horrible and not someone I would wanna be around

She doesn't sound the best tbh

I was perplexed, because, uhm, eating protein and veg is cultural?

It was everyone's 'culture' when we were hunter gatherers

She sounds a bit silly but offensive is in the eye of the beholder and you are the beholder. And you think it's clueless.

Don’t know why anyone would say she’s being racist.

You are friends. You are both on diets. You are discussing.

FFS.

Get over yourself.

I'm not sure I fully understand everything in the post. I am assuming that you and your friend are of different races? I openly ask a lot of my Hindu and Muslim friends about culture, religion etc as that's how I learn. Eg one Muslim friend said she was getting a cat. I said that I often don't think of Muslim people as often being pet owners, was I wrong about that? She explained that was quite a traditional approach and it's becoming increasingly common. That seems like a similar thing. She's still my friend...

Bloody hell! If anything’s unsustainable it’s a diet made of bars or shakes. Your friend is simply a twit.

She started at 130kg. That's more than 20 stone. Vlcd might well be medically sanctioned at that weight.

probably the reason she is 130 kg is because she doesn't know what to eat. and yes maybe wonders if there is a cultural basis to why you are not as heavy as she is.
many cultures eat differently, take the often cited "Mediterranean Diet" with more veg/olive oil/fresh produce.
some cultures eat more meat and potatoes.
people often wrongly associate being vegetarian with normal bmi and some cultures are strictly vegetarian.
i don't find her question offensive, naive about healthy eating yes, racist no.

No, I don't think she was being deliberately offensive or racist at all. Ignorant, sure. Evidently she was just carrying on the conversation and trying to find out more about your diet and if it had any cultural links. Nothing more. This constant need to be offended or worried about whether or not you should be offended over such juvenile things is beyond ridiculous and pathetic now.

^ Wise words indeed.

I presume you wouldn't be friends with her if you thought she was genuinely racist. Her question seems more clumsy then malicious to me.

Nah, I didn't think it was racist, but someone pointed it out. I thought she was uninformed. She's also a nurse, so it was very perplexing to me how a nurse doesn't seem to have any idea of nutrition.

Not racist.
It feels like nowadays no one can say anything about a difference in skin colour, culture without someone grossly misinterpreting it as racism.

I once made a genuine enquiry about Japanese food (sushi), was asking about its heritage as was curious, was within a few days spoken to by a friend of the friend about why it would be offensive and racist. I’ve still no idea why it a food issue was taken this way

Maybe she was questioning the use of rice for a morning meal as being cultural?

It's not offensive. Sounds a bit ignorant/ill informed but that's nothing to do with race or culture. And yes, I agree with you, that as far as sustainability goes replacement bars and shakes are going to be one of the worst choices.

It's a pet peeve of mine when people jump in and get offended about non issues that don't affect them on your behalf. There are enough offensive situations in life without people stirring the pot trying to create more.

Maybe she was questioning the use of rice for a morning meal as being cultural?

That was after she asked me if my diet (low carb - protein and veg, minimal carbs so no rice or bread or pasta) was cultural.