To ask which 'things' you do post kids to have a life?

[WhatAWomble]

I'm a single mum to one dd. She is very clingy and I am struggling to have any sort of life outside the home. I've applied for jobs (fingers crossed, not many about) but need to begin getting some form of life back.

I am also quite depressed which isn't helping with motivation. I've become quite nervous about meeting new people and worried that people won't like me. Typing it I guess it's the typical hiding myself away has reinforced my idea that no one wants me to do anything with them and it is a vicious circle. Tonight I tried to reach out to a group of friends and got what I've read as a short sharp answer from only 1 of the group. I've been trying to see it as an attempt to be constructive but it's not what I needed (encouragement) and has made me paranoid that they are all talking about me and thinking I need to just pull myself together...so I want to work on that.

ANYWAY! How did you go about getting something back for you? I know some mums get to do a hobby a week in the evenings, which is not possible unless I pay a sitter (can't afford), so any day time hobbies or ideas where I could get a bit of adult conversation? I literally only talk face to face with parents at the school gates, so feeling very isolated atm.

Sorry, enough of the pity party! I'm trying to find the fun!

Volunteering maybe?

How old is your dd ?
You mention doing things during the day - and 'parents at the school gate' so I'm presuming school age?
So you are looking to do something during school hours ?

If you are looking to get into work, then what about volunteering somewhere for a while, to get your confidence up ?
For example, our local hospice has LADS of different volunteering roles - from office or accounts based, to catering, to gardening, to crafts, to befrienders, to receptionists, to drivers, to maintenance, to people to help serve meals. You would get to talk to people and you would get to be used to working and you would meet people.

Nor would it cost you anything.

You sound lovely, I think you are probably reading too much into the text response, your friends were probably just busy.

Now the weather is getting warmer what about suggesting a picnic with some of parents and kids after school one day, is there a local park you could suggest? If you build up one or two relationships with other parents you might not feel so isolated and could progress to seeing them after drop off for a coffee?

Also maybe PTA, or volunteering during school hours as suggested above.

Can you knit/crochet?

I started off crocheting squares for the wonderful Woolly Hugs group on MN. I enjoyed the chat on the thread and it feels good to be doing something positive for others. Once I'd mastered some simple squares I joined a local 'knit and natter' group (found it on FaceBook). It was terrifying walking through the door but they were such a welcoming group and even though most are much more talented knitters/crocheters than I am they are happy to help beginners. It also helps having something to do rather than just sitting drinking tea.

You could also have a look at your local library. Many are now community run and very grateful for volunteers. There are often coffee mornings, book groups, talks from local speakers etc.

Adult education might be an option? Do you have any desire to learn another language or do a GCSE in a subject that you didn't do at school.

Or have a look here for volunteering opportunities...

www.royalvoluntaryservice.org.uk/#_ga=2.24120378.1888219246.1557613963-1973754379.1557613963

I started photography as a hobby and have met people through that through facebook groups and a Photographic Society (though they meet in the evenings so might not be do-able for you). I set up still life scenes at take photos of them as well so don't have to go anywhere if the weather's crap or the dc are poorly. In my area there are often daytime photography workshops (though you have to pay for them). I did one once; it was one morning a week for about 10 weeks and I met a few people there.

What about studying something?

I work part time and have 6 hours a week free time (when DD is at nursery)
Im active in our tenants union and use the time to fire off emails to the labdlord/utility companies etc.
I also Kondo my cupboards, piss about on Mumsnet and drink tea. I think about writing things for my blog but generally don't get around to it.
I work in welfare rights and I got into that through volunteering at the CAB.
It was the best thing I ever did. I got a good 18 months of training in a bunch of practical subjects and got a job almost straight away. I don't know if it's possible to do it during school hours though. I did 2 days per week 9 to 5.

I'm a single mum of one dd and I think it's amazing! Hard work obviously but definitely easier than having to balance the needs of several children of different ages. I have no support from dd father nor my family so have had to rely on friendships.
I work full time, go to the gym when I can, have friends round for meals, nights out when dd sleeps out at her friend's house etc.
The way I've built up my 'tribe' is by reminding myself that a lot of mums are struggling and/or lonely (married mums often have it even tougher than us single mums if their husbands are twats!). I keep an open mind regarding friendship and as a result have some single mum friends, some childless, some married - and some much younger or older than me. I try to help other mums out when I can too, I figure if I've got my dd anyway then why not have one of her pals over for a play and supper or even to sleep. Now I've found that every weekend either I have one of her friends here or she's been invited to their home.
Maybe offer to have one of your dd friends for a play date? Might not lead to an everlasting friendship with the other mum but I'm sure your dd would love it and you'd get that satisfaction from having given another mum a little break.