To think this is a bit weird?

[poppymatilda]

My DD is 6 mths old. When she was a couple of months old a girl I went to primary school with (Fiona) had a baby. My mum is still in contact with Fiona's mum (they see each other about 2-3 times a year), I haven't seen Fiona for at least 10-15 years. When I had DD Fiona's mum sent me a very small gift via my mum just as a token. She had 3 grand sons at this point and my mum had not sent a gift when they were born so felt a bit bad.

When the new baby girl was born my mum asked me whether I could dig out some of DDs clothes she'd grown out of for her to give to Fiona. Their family are really into recycling/reusing etc so I thought it made sense. I was surprised that Fiona sent a card to mum thanking her for the clothes and not me but wasn't bothered and forgot all about it.

Now my mum another friend who I have no connection to at all. She's an older lady with grown up grand children and I've met her once or twice when visiting my mum. She also sent a gift when my DD was born (which I was really surprised about tbh as I don't really know her and DH has never even met her). Anyway one of her grandchildren had a baby a few weeks ago. My mum asked me to find some more of DDs clothes for this grandchild woman so she doesn't have to buy a present. She even picked out the items from DDs wardrobe that she particularly and asked for them. I made up an excuse when she first asked me but she visited this week and asked me again and when I said she should just buy a small jellycat or something rather than fobbing off DDs old clothes she said she didn't want to spend the money because what if any of this woman's other grandchildren had babies?

It's not a big deal but is it just me that thinks it's weird that my mum wants to give my DDs second hand clothes to some woman neither of us have ever met and pass them off as a new baby present from her? It's not even like my mum's skint, she could easily afford to spend a tenner on a baby gift.

Put a stop to it now. When your DD has finished with clothes that you don't want to pass on to anybody else put them in a bag. When your mum comes around, tell her she can take what she likes from the bag. Nothing else.

I remember when a relative gave my DC a gift. My high earning and very tight SIL saw the gift and asked if she could have it when DC was finished with it as she would like to pass it on to somebody else. The gift was something that could be used for years, a little toy kitchen, a small one not the hugely expensive ones, but it wasn't something that would be finished with in a couple of months. I was so surprised that I mumbled yes of course. Four years on and DC is still playing with it but SIL still brings it up from time to time. Weird.

Tell your dm that since you are funding her present giving she can fund yours, so whenever you want to give someone a present you will ask her to buy it for you. Then reel off a list of things people want.

E.g. Sally wants a new pair of Uggs, John wants an iPad, Chris wants a new tv and The Jones family want a fortnight in Reykjavik. Their birthdays/anniversaries are all in the next couple of months, get your purse out. (Oh, and DeathyMcDeathStarFace wants a nice 5 bed house in Somerset, you should be able to afford her one of those with all the money you are saving on not paying for your friends presents . CF.)

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Did your mum buy the clothes? Does she provide financial assistance? Just wondered why she thinks she can do this to your possessions!