Do you assume men will open the door/"give way"?

[Saavhi]

When I reach a door at the same time as someone else of course it's courteous to gesture that they go ahead- male or female. This happens all the time but sometimes I feel that some men find this gesture offensive /embarrassing.

E.g yesterday a senior colleague and I arrived at the top of the escalators at the same time, I said something along the lines of go ahead but he said "don't be so silly" in quite a curt/patronising one. I would feel incredibly rude just to automatically assume I have "right of way". I know this a very minor issue but I've become increasingly paranoid that I'm somehow doing something wrong. I just started a grad scheme in September so don't want to leave a bad impression when I encounter new colleagues.

I'm in my 20s so whilst I appreciate chivalry I don't see myself as a dainty woman that needs assistance etc

I know I'm overthinking this one!

I would always hold a door, offer for someone else to ge first, etc. If they offer for me to go first, I'd accept, unless they seem less able than me - wheelchair, significantly older, using a stick or crutches, they have kids with them, etc. I am disabled & walk with a limp, but it's not always immediately obvious, so while I don't feel guilty about accepting someone's offer to go first, I don't view it as a men/women thing, more as just people being decent.

An ex of mine always insisted that women should go first, in all circumstances. That was pretty annoying. His attitude to women was pretty annoying in general, TBH. Chivalry isn't attractive if it implies or outright states that someone is a sexist arsehole.

saavi whoever is in the right position to open the door easier ie whoever is nearer the door handle, at the shop i work at the right hand door opens outward so it would be and often is whoever is on the right hand side

Door opening politics is stressful. I recommend avoiding all doors.

On a serious note though, it sounds like maybe this senior colleague thought you were holding the door for him because of his status. Some people find that embarrassing. This sort of thing happens to my DH a lot at his work place (it's one of those jobs where people do take "rank" quite seriously) and so he bends over backwards to make brews for people and hold open doors, take his turn for the coffee run etc. He probably would have reacted in the same way your colleague did if someone held the door for him because he's desperate not to be seen as the big important boss man who can't even get the door for someone.

As others have said, just hold the door if it makes sense to hold the door and try not to overthink it.

I always hold the door even as a femal, I don't expect men to though.

*I do appreciate a gentlemanly gesture for sure.and hate that some women would get offended at the poor fella confused"

oh Lord a "cool" woman, not like those humourless feminist bitches. I'm sure you think men appreciate you for it. Newflash - they don't, they think you are right where they want you - weak.
Once met a bloke who, when I quite politely insisted he go first (he was coming out of a shop, in my book those 'getting off first' as it were get priority), retorted with "oh, do as you're told, woman". That's what's really behind this, make no mistake.
For the record women like you piss me off.

I don't assume, but I really appreciate men who do. I prefer old-fashion manners, but I wouldn't make a fuss about them

I actually think it’s astonishing how many men assume women will get out of their way.
i have the completely opposite experience. Following a recent thread on MN about that, I have paid extra attention, and the majority of men tend to get out the way, quite often with a smile, whilst women don't. I encounter more rude women than rude men.
However, People the nose on their phone, men or women, are very equally rude and in the bloody way.

oh Lord a "cool" woman, not like those humourless feminist bitches. I'm sure you think men appreciate you for it. Newflash - they don't, they think you are right where they want you - weak.
Once met a bloke who, when I quite politely insisted he go first (he was coming out of a shop, in my book those 'getting off first' as it were get priority), retorted with "oh, do as you're told, woman". That's what's really behind this, make no mistake.
For the record women like you piss me off.

Fucking hell you have the whole potato on your shoulder don't you Marchin! Firstly it's not about me wanting men to appreciate my appreciation I don't feel or do things to ingratiate myself to men.What a warped way of thinking you have. Secondly just because you came across a sexist pig once does not mean that all men who open doors for women do so because they don't respect them,and thirdly I think you described yourself very well in your first sentence (not the 'cool' part) and need to chill the fuck out. Lastly I could not give a rat's arse that I piss you off.......I'm pretty sure most that people do