AIBU in being frustrated that everybody gets my name wrong?

[rosesandveg]

I am getting increasingly frustrated at people getting my name wrong. I have an old fashioned English first name that can be tricky to spell (and I understand that), and I am married. My name now is firstname myname hisname (no hyphen). I would not be that bothered if people just put in incorrect hyphens, but they get it very wrong a lot of the time. It is most frustrating when it is put down incorrectly in concert programmes and conference presentations (I'm a performer working in a specialist field). Recently I've had firstname(incorrectly spelt) hisname-myname(incorrectly spelt), firstname hisname-myname, and firstname myname. It's really beginning to get me down. These are usually one off events so it's not something I can correct going forward, however sometimes it is colleagues who have worked with me since before I got married, that really gets me. I have my correct name on my emails, website, Facebook profile. I'm not sure what else I can do. AIBU to feel so down about it? I married six years ago so it's not a new thing.

Not unreasonable to get annoyed about it but it might be one of those things you sort of have to accept, particularly with people who don't know you.
I have a very common first name that can be spelt in a few different ways and it gets spelt wrong all the dam time, my maiden name also had 3 or 4 ways it could be spelt so quite regularly my name was listed spelt completely wrong. It was very annoying but i had to learn to just let it go, it didn't actually do me any harm and if i let it wind me up it was only me that lost anything (even if it was just losing my cool!)

It’s something you have to grit your teeth and endure unfortunately. My maiden name has about twenty different spellings/pronunciations so I spent a lot of time correcting people. The worst is when you correct someone and they blink then carry on using the incorrect version

I get it all the time with the full version of my name as it's not a common English name. I've got to the point where I use a shortened, more English version of it - I prefer it anyway so it's no bother to me.

Is it Isabel? Sorry...you probably won't say but my niece is Isabel...and nobody ever spells it correctly.

She gets Isobel, Isabelle and once Izabel!

Two weeks ago I was at the dentist and the nurse came out looking for Mrs Surname-that’s-four-letters-out-from-mine. ‘That’s you madam’, says the receptionist. Er, no it isn’t love.

I went for the folllow-up appointment this week and the same nurse calls me Mrs Unidentifiable-Noise

YANBU but sadly something you have to accept when you have an odd name. My surname is the same, it’s very obscure and I have had all manner of spellings over the years- some don’t even make sense!

My DP has one of the most common names imaginable but his parents chose to use the less common spelling (not a made up spelling, it is a legitimate spelling but not as commonly used) so people still use the more common spelling. My DM still insists on using the more common spelling of DP’s name even directly after a text where I have spelt it correctly! I think she is convinced I am misspelling my own partner’s name ffs.

People are irritating. I always endeavour to spell someone’s name correctly and make sure to double check if possible before sending anything because I realise how bloody annoying it is.

@HennyPennyHorror I knew an Ysabel 😂 so many spellings

Outvoid I often have people replying to my work emails addressing me as Ms last name with an extra vowel - even though my full name is on my email signature and in the email address. They clearly think I can't spell my own name!

I took DH surname – many people struggle to pronounce it correctly or spell it.

Different set of problems to my maiden name which was really common and meant I got confused with none related people with work and post.

I spell it out automatically and smile when told it can’t be pronounced that way and say that’s down to DH family and where they come from – people usually go with what you say not always.

Really pissed me off when DD1 nursery kept mispronouncing her surname despite corrections and her Christian name.

I’ve seen posters on here insist her Christian name must be pronounced a way it’s not spelt – DD1 had it at school with other pupils – she told them straight they were being rude and it was her name so they should defer to her.

We've had odd spelling of her first name - spelt as it sounds one time someone managed to put Z and y in it - making it twice as long as it should have been.

I tend to try and help people to avoid confusions, but many people are just irritating and do come across as thinking they know better.

People get my first name wrong all the time and it's only 4 letters. Yeah it pees me off a little, but I'm so used to it, I just answer to the similar name everybody thinks it is. Even the vicar pronounced it wrong whilst reading a eulogy at a close family members funeral, despite being told several times.

Everyone fucks up my name. It's not even particularly difficult. I spell it out very clearly anytime I get asked for email addresses etc. People still stuff it up and I don't get it as the way they stuff it doesn't even make sense.
Imagine my surname is Williams and they write Williamb. People are just shit with names.

My surname is incredibly simple (it's also the name of a country/county)
I can't count how many times people have (for example) said Englands/Englishes/insert any word that is not a country/county
My first name has a male version so say Samuel/Samantha. People are always saying "Samuel?" and then look confused when I don't reply

My maiden surname is also a first name so people constantly got my names the wrong way around. It's annoying but there's not much you can do about it.

'My surname is incredibly simple (it's also the name of a country/county)
I can't count how many times people have (for example) said Englands/Englishes/insert any word that is not a country/county
My first name has a male version so say Samuel/Samantha. People are always saying "Samuel?" and then look confused when I don't reply '

I'm not surprised they're confused

People aren’t just s**t with names, many are just lazy, rude, or think names have to be said and spelt a certain way because that’s all THEY know. I worked in an office with clients all over the world processing their documents so have seen names spelled in so many different ways. Imagine if I thought I knew better and decided to change every name I thought should be spelled a certain way. I would be fired. It’s not difficult to ask someone how to spell or say their name nor is it to write their name correctly especially if it is on an email or a document they themselves filled out. It used to drive my mother bonkers that companies would assume she had spelled her own surname wrong and correct it for her. It’s a three letter surname. She started sending the letters back until they contacted her. She told them that since her surname wasn’t on the document, she wasn’t going to open it since it’s illegal to open someone else’s mail. That made them get it right.

YANBU. I have an ordinary boring short English name that can be spelt in several different ways. I think it is downright rude when replying to any email with my name right there in front of them that people use the wrong spelling. I always double check that I am using the correct version of somebody's name, and it really isn't hard when it's there in black and white. It isn't as if I'm expecting them to look it up especially.

My name is Bronwyn. I've had god knows how many incorrect spellings over the years. I just correct people politely, it doesn't bother me that much.

It's not my first name being wrong I object to, it's more my surnames being the wrong way round, partially ignored or misspelt. I won't give too much away but one of them is the most common surname in the country! And the fact it's in concert programmes, it's not just replying to an email - it could actually stop me from getting further work because people don't know my actual name

And no, I'm not Isobel!

@phoenixrosehere when I said people are shit with names I meant lazy
I'm super careful with getting people's names right as I'm so used to mine being messed up. What really gets my goat is when my name is RIGHT there in an email and they still misspell it.

For it to happen on an events programme is really poor. I would start specifically asking to check. I both organise events and am on panels. I would be mortified to get a name wrong in a programme or on related signage. I'd have several scathing thoughts if someone did it to me. So disrespectful!

It does depend on the name, and just what you mean by “old English”. Although it’s poor that an events organiser would get it wrong if you’re performing / presenting, I could understand errors in “Aelfflaed Eastaughffe Smith”

My eldest son has a name with 2 pronunciations. His is the original, traditional one, but it's amazing how many people get it wrong as if I'm the one getting it wrong.

Do you have some sort of booking process e.g. emails when making appearances - could you add a line saying “Please can I appear in the programme as Firstname Myname Surname”?
I agree a lot of people are really lazy when it comes to names. I spent 4 years at school correcting one teacher’s pronunciation of my name, she never remembered.

I have an unusual first name - very few people pronounce it correctly and when they do mispronounce it it sounds very harsh and I hate it. I have been called all manner of things over the last 40 years and I was even called the wrong name when I graduated!