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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a complete over reaction on her part and no need for this behaviour , person parking in parent space when disabled.

91 replies

fatisnotafeeling · 10/05/2019 14:25

I am a Personal care assistant and support an elderly lady in her 80s who has had a stroke, struggles to walk and has a disabled badge.

I take her food shopping on a Friday to a small Waitrose, it has a very small car park with 4 disabled bays and 2 parent and child spaces.
When we arrived there were no disabled bays but there was a parent one so I took that one and we proceeded to get out the car.
We were then confronted by a lady with a baby in her car shouting that we didn't have a child and should not be fucking parking there. I responded that we had a disabled badge and could park there, she proceeded to call me a slag and drove off at speed.

When we went into the shop we approached customer services and explained that we had parked in the space and did have a badge that was displayed. This lady then came in the shop and began ranting that she has a baby and we had parked in a parent space and shouldn't have, I just repeated we have a badge and my client cannot walk distances and we are able to legally park in those spaces.
More staff members including the Floor manager and store manager were telling her to calm down and we had every right to park in the space. She called me a skank and stormed off.
She was very aggressive and at the point I was shaking and verging on tears. She then came back again shouting and screaming that I am a fucking bitch and how would I feel if i had a baby (I have 3 DC).

I had the the managers between me and her and another staff member took me to the side away from it, apologised said I had done nothing wrong. I'm ashamed to say I had started crying by this point. Me and my client were both given flowers by the staff.

AIBU to think that there is just no need for behaviour like this and that I did nothing wrong. I know some people have things going on that we don't know about and I always take that in to account when out, I feel on the verge of a panic attack now and this happened nearly 3 hours ago.

OP posts:
ThomasHardyPerennial · 10/05/2019 14:28

What absolutely awful behaviour from that woman, I'm sorry you had to deal with it!

coffeeaddiction · 10/05/2019 14:29

Absolutely no need , yes it's handy to have a parent and child space when you need to get a baby out the car but it really isn't the end of the world if you can't get a space .

An elderly person that struggles to walk should absolutely have priority

MatildaTheCat · 10/05/2019 14:30

Surely the store called the police? They must have banned her so you should be safe in future. I would call and ask for clarification on this.

BlueSkiesLies · 10/05/2019 14:32

Just think, at least you only had to deal with her for a few minute today. Her poor child has her as a mother for the rest of their life.

HBStowe · 10/05/2019 14:32

What a total nightmare - you poor thing, how awful. She sounds truly horrible. I’m glad the staff were nice to you but sorry you had to experience it at all.

Sirzy · 10/05/2019 14:34

I feel sorry for her child!

I was out with my dad today, we forgot his blue badge so used a p and c space instead as he needed the space.

Jeezoh · 10/05/2019 14:35

You poor thing, parent and child spaces are a generally a courtesy/nice to have, disabled spaces are essential. Sounds like the store handled it well but no wonder you’re shaken up.

HollowTalk · 10/05/2019 14:35

This happened in Waitrose? That means that everything I've heard about Waitrose is a lie!

Dandelion1993 · 10/05/2019 14:38

What she did was awful but part of me thinks maybe she's had a rough night of no sleep and that was just her tipping point.

JaneEyre07 · 10/05/2019 14:38

Some people are just arseholes OP and think they are more entitled than everyone else.

Don't let her disturb your thoughts for one moment more..... you're doing something decent with your day, she's just ranting and swearing at a carer accompanying an old lady.

OutInTheCountry · 10/05/2019 14:39

That sounds horrid, sorry OP. And I think any reasonable person would have thought you were right to park there. It sounds like the staff were lovely though.

forestafantastica · 10/05/2019 14:39

She sounds completely unhinged as well as utterly vile. Of course you parked there - what other option was there for the very frail and vulnerable person you were with?

I bet she's an awful mother as well.

Geminijes · 10/05/2019 14:40

Parent and child spaces are nice to have but not a necessity where as disabled spaces (are not nice to have) but are a necessity.

She sounds crazy. You had every right to park in a parent and child space. Try and forget about the incident.

Enjoy your flowers.

Marmablade · 10/05/2019 14:40

I'm very grateful p&c places exist but I'm even more grateful I don't have a disability which requires a blue badge. A temporary inconvenience of a baby is nothing compared with a life long disability. Your client suffers every day and I can't believe anyone thinks their status as a parent trumps someone else's comfort or reasonable adjustment. The very epitome of entitled.

Shakirasma · 10/05/2019 14:41

What a vile woman. Dont let her get to you OP, you did nothing wrong! I hope your client isnt too shaken up either.

Drogosnextwife · 10/05/2019 14:41

No she was an absolute twat and I would probably have told her as much and laughed in her face, and told her she was setting a fantastic exaple to her child. What would she have done if it was people with children who were parked on the spaces and she couldn't get one? Forget it and move on OP. Maybe next time she does that to someone they will scream back in her face and she will get a taste of her own medicine.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 10/05/2019 14:41

Her initial reaction was bad (and wrong!) enough, but to continue it in store is appalling.

People who equate P&C spaces with disabled spaces are dickheads for a start, they are not equal. One is a courtesy (P&C), the other a legal requirement. The blue badge means you can park anywhere that is available to allow the person holding the blue badge to access where they need to go.

She sounds like a horrible horrible person.

Oakmaiden · 10/05/2019 14:43

What she did was awful but part of me thinks maybe she's had a rough night of no sleep and that was just her tipping point.

And if so? Still no excuse. Adults should have better self control.

Blackorblack · 10/05/2019 14:44

What she did was awful but part of me thinks maybe she's had a rough night of no sleep and that was just her tipping point

Oh come off it, no decent person would use language like that, sleep deprived or not.

werideatdawn · 10/05/2019 14:45

Jesus I haven't slept through a night for about 3 years and I wouldn't speak to anybody like that. How disappointing to see anyone making excuses for this shitty behaviour.
She was vile OP, no wonder you're shaken up. Just rest assured the problem lies with her not you.

x2boys · 10/05/2019 14:45

Why didn't the shop just call the police to escort of her off the premises? I assume the store has banned her for being verbally abusive?

Teaandbi5cuit5 · 10/05/2019 14:47

So sorry this happened to you. My husband has a total hip replacement and a chronic illness but to the world he looks like a fit 30 year old. We are constantly being judged when we park in disabled bays and often have people telling us off about parking there.

Redpostbox · 10/05/2019 14:47

Lets hope the ranting mother reads this thread on Mumsnet!
It is absolutely right use a parent and child space if you have a blue badge and there are no disabled spaces.
OP the ranting mother is probably at home now feeling terribly guilty. Maybe in the future she or one of her relatives will need a blue badge and she will remember this incident and cringe!

Ineedamanipedi · 10/05/2019 14:48

She sounds vile, unhinged and common as muck - to call a complete stranger words such as slag and skank show her mentality. Bless you, try to forget it now - you were in the wrong place at the wrong time she was probably on the edge and would’ve had a go at anyone for something and nothing today.

Aimily · 10/05/2019 14:48

What an experience, I hope she had a reasonable excuse for her behaviour, although I doubt we will ever know.

I'm really sorry this was your experience!
I am pleased though that the staff in Waitrose had your back and defended you!
I hope the rest of your day and weekend is better!

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