I wonder if you lovely people can help with some perspective on this issue i'm having and if i'm being unreasonable?
The situation is that I have 3 friends who I have known since sixth form college. We used to be really close, I went to Uni with and lived with one of them for 3 years. We continued to be close friends and meet up regularly up until about 2 years ago. Overall we've known each other over 10 years. These three friends all got pregnant and had babies within a year of each other, and since then getting hold of them has been next to impossible, which I completely understand as they’re busy nowadays however over the past 2 years all 3 of them just stopped replying to my messages enquiring how things were, or I got one word answers. I’ve wracked my brains and I’m sure I didn’t do anything to be phased out like this. 2 out of 3 of them held baby showers which I went to and bought loads of gifts for their babies, this was before they stopped replying to me. One of these friends (at a time we were speaking regularly) forgot my 30th birthday and instead sent me a rude message about paying the deposit for her baby shower, she wished me happy birthday the next day after another friend had mentioned it in passing. While these friends were pregnant they expected a lot of attention and constantly updated me on their pregnancies etc. Two of them see each other regularly despite one of them living on the other side of the country now so i know they are in touch with each other. I think in the end I just got fed up of trying.
Fast forward 2 years and I’m now pregnant myself for the first time. I’ve had a hard pregnancy so far with sickness, I have a fibroid which has terrified me as I’d never heard of them before, and I’ve also got PGP which is agonising. I tried to reach out to them again earlier in the year to tell them my good news and just to see how they were and how their kids were, see if they had any advice, not one of them was interested. The most I got back was a very formal reply from one (the one I’d lived with), nothing from one and a simple congrats via instagram message from another. Any updates I've posted about my pregnancy on social media go ignored by them but they all like each other's pictures of kids. One of them did reply to say she’d had another baby herself early this year and didn’t even tell me she was expecting which really hurt me. Her excuse was she only told people she spoke to but i'd messaged her a few times trying to make contact in the past year and she ignored me.
So my issue is now that my best friend who I’ve known most of my life (an unrelated friend, not one of these 3 girls) is desperate to throw me a baby shower this summer (in due in September). I don’t like parties for myself but I agreed as my family, in laws and best friend are excited to attend. My best friend has recently asked me if I wanted to invite these 3 girls. I would like to for old times sake, but the issue is that I’ve not spoken to any of them in so long and they’ve shown so little interest in my life since I moved in with my partner, my pregnancy and the baby that I don’t think they’d show up anyway, and that would really hurt me.
Am I being unreasonable to just not invite them? I don’t think with everything I could cope with them just not coming after all the effort I made when they were pregnant. My best friend who is organising my shower said do I want her to just invite them anyway and just see if they come but I don't want to face this rejection when I was so supportive of them when they were pregnant. Sorry if this comes off a bit selfish.