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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Saying 'no' at work

31 replies

Custardandnoodle · 10/05/2019 10:54

I'm helping organise an event at work. The guy delivering is senior to me but in a different department. He's asked me to transfer over 100 slides to a new ppt template. I'm not his admin, I'm not an admin. I'm a people pleaser so really struggling. How do I say no? It's not my job and I really am too busy. Help!

OP posts:
FriarTuck · 10/05/2019 10:55

'Sorry that's not my area'

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 10/05/2019 10:57

I’m sorry I really don’t have the capacity in my schedule to do that for you.

ShaggyRug · 10/05/2019 10:57

Just say, “Sorry I won’t have time for that as I’m too busy. You’ll need to get someone who does admin to assist you”.

If you’re too busy with your own work it’s perfectly fine to say no to someone who’s not your boss asking you to do admin for them.

MumW · 10/05/2019 10:57

Maybe
"Sorry, it's not part of my role and I've enough of my own work to be getting on with."

GabriellaMontez · 10/05/2019 10:59

"Im flat out. I wouldn't be able to do that before insert ridiculous date in the future "

theemmadilemma · 10/05/2019 10:59

Sorry, this type of admin is outside of my role, and I don't have the resource to assist.

Original poster
Custardandnoodle · 10/05/2019 11:00

Thank you!! Message sent 😊

OP posts:
HolesinTheSoles · 10/05/2019 11:00

"I'm sorry I won't have time to do that, perhaps you could ask someone on admin".

Offallycheap · 10/05/2019 11:01

Don’t say sorry.

SellFridges · 10/05/2019 11:01

I’m also a people pleaser and struggle to say no at work.

I would go back and give some suggestions of who might be able to help - an admin, an intern etc.

StuckInsideAnEcho · 10/05/2019 11:02

Which message did you send? Well.done :)

StormTreader · 10/05/2019 11:08

"I think you may have sent this to the wrong person".

The problem with giving them a ridiculous date in the future is that it implies it is part of your job role but you're prioritising other work, and leaves things open for them to say "this is very urgent, I must have it by xxx date please". You need to respond to things like this in a way that says "this isn't my job, don't ask me again."

floribunda18 · 10/05/2019 11:16

He's probably a sexist twat sending stuff to a random woman, in his eyes. All wimmin must be admin.

UCOinanOCG · 10/05/2019 11:18

I hope you were clear that this is not within your job remit.

SuziQ10 · 10/05/2019 11:20

What did you end up saying OP

Kedgeree · 10/05/2019 11:20

Agree with StormTreader that the response should be polite but make clear the request is outside of scope for you. I would have added something along the lines that I was doing my own set up in the new template, or that such a body in admin was doing it for the event so go to them.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 10/05/2019 11:20

Also speak to your line manager about it.

Original poster
Custardandnoodle · 10/05/2019 11:29

I don't want this to happen again as this is the first in a series of events we're going to be running.

I sent " Hi xxxx, I'm afraid that's outside my role. If you contact a member of admin in (your department) I'm sure they'll be able to help."

And yes he's a self important sexist twat! Unfortunately the industry I'm in has quite a few of them. In a phone conversation yesterday he called me a young woman and when I called him on it he made a joke that he's not to call us young girls. How magnanimous of him! I'm in my 30s ffs.

I'm expecting a bit of blow back actually, but I'm digging my heels in on this!

OP posts:
regmover · 10/05/2019 11:30

Next time you speak to him it's "young man" I guess...

FriarTuck · 10/05/2019 11:32

Well done OP!

blackteasplease · 10/05/2019 11:33

I always find using the word "capacity" if you don't want to do something and want to say you don't have time helps!

Drum2018 · 10/05/2019 11:37

Perfect response. What a dick.

DramaRamaLlama · 10/05/2019 11:40

I've been known to send emails back saying I don't think this was intended for me.

spanishwife · 10/05/2019 11:52

I wouldn't personally say 'outside my role' - we should all do things outside of our role otherwise how would we ever grow and move up. I would just say 'don't have the bandwidth at this busy time'

DropOfffArtiste · 10/05/2019 11:53

So many women apologising and suggesting they are too busy.

"That's not my area, please send your admin queries to X" is so much better