No gifts please!

[Zeezee82]

We’re due another DC shortly and I want to ask people not to bring gifts - we literally have everything. AIBU? I don’t want to offend anyone. I’ve considered asking for other things e.g. money for their account, donation to charity, home cooked meal etc. Would you be offended?

Gosh no don’t say anything! To say it means you expect it. Certainly don’t ask for cash! Only be specific if someone asked you what you needed. If you get stuff you don’t need I’m sure there is a charity that would be grateful.

Nappies- in each size going up

A baby gift but usable.

I wouldn't say to friends unless asked because I can't think how you would do that politely .Just pass on to charity if you get things you can't use.

Family, especially grandparents, will probably want to get something useful so fine to ask them for money or vouchers. If vouchers go for somewhere that does kids as well as baby stuff like m&s for example so you can get practical things with it like vests/socks/ school uniform as and when you need them. That's my advice anyway.

Aw you meanie!

One of the joys of getting to meet a newborn is buying them cute little baby clothes or gifts.I love buying for babies - my youngest is 8 and her clothes, although lovely, aren't that cute!

Seriously though, I wouldn't say anything. You can always give unwanted gifts to a refuge or women's shelter or charity.

I wouldn't ask for money even though it would be most helpful.

Worst case, if you're on social media you could post a "big thank you to everyone for your incredibly generous gifts, overwhelmed by how much we have received. No such thing as too many nappies, so really appreciate your kindness" or some such crap (is that too passive aggressive??? )

I'd be slightly offended yes and I'd buy a gift any way. I think you will need to accept that people will want to buy your new baby gifts. You could donate some of the things you have to make space for the gifts?

Btw, my friend is due a baby soon and when I asked her what she wanted she said nappies or toiletries for the baby.

If I asked you if you needed anything and you asked me donate to charity, I would not bother. That's my choice not yours. Happy to give you £20 for a piggy bank (or a lasagne) but if someone rocks up with a babygro just thank them, if it goes in a charity bag a few weeks later, it will be lovely for someone else.

Let them buy stuff and then either regift it (maybe a women's refuge or a local centre or something) or ask for nappies, nappies and more nappies.

I don't think its unreasonable at all - you already have children, you probably have hand me downs already, you likely have friends with children also who would happily shuffle their outgrown stuff in your direction etc.

for those who absolutely have to get you something - vouchers are great, can be used over the next 12 months usually.
Maybe they could all chip in a little for a session with local photographer for new family photos/baby photos? (its money but money for a specific gift)

I found we didn't get given nearly as much for dc2. When dc1 was born I was amazed how many gifts we received, friends of my parents, neighbours, work colleagues etc those people didn't buy for dc2.

I don't think you should say no gifts, it would appear you're expecting them. As pp said people love buying new baby things. You just say thank you and quietly pass them on. The giver will never know but will have had the pleasure of shopping and giving.

Also if you asked me to donate to charity I wouldn't bother, I'd want to do something specifically for the baby. I'd happily cook something for you but would do that in addition to bringing a little gift.

For those that ask-fine.
For other family/friends I'd happily receive the gifts. You can always re-gift or donate them.
Personally if asked to donate money or buy a voucher I feel obliged to give more than I would probably have spent on a gift.

I would just casually say not that we are expecting anything but just in case you was wanting to buy the baby something please don't feel you need to as we already have every baby item we need, and for closer friends/family members I would ask for a gift card if they really insist so you can buy clothes for baby when they are older

For everyone saying you can 're-gift' items, when my FIL or MIL buy something they expect a pic of DC using/wearing it🙄 hence why we told them point blank now DON'T buy anything!! Its always something that will fit in the wrong season!

What everyone else said. Though if people ask if there's something they can get you, you can make suggestions imo. FWIW I always get new parents Cook vouchers/a homemade meal for the freezer and some champagne, I think the baby will be accounted for but the parents need a bit of TLC!

OP, I'm with you. We mentioned to people long before baby arrived that we had so much already and that was after donating bags and bags of stuff to charity.
We mentioned nappies and baby care stuff in conversations and I'm pleased to sat we got those plus Boots vouchers and vouchers for other stores that have baby paraphernalia.
Folk are only to happy to get what the baby and the Mum need so, I would not be backwards about coming forwards 😉

We are expecting our third and will ask for no gifts. We have been living more minimally for the past couple of years and we simply don't have this space. There will be 5 of us in a 2 bed house. I just find it extremely stressful and wasteful to be drowning in stuff we don't need or have space for simply to accommodate others feelings. Generosity can be shown in other ways such as you suggested, making dinners/ money for littles account which can be used more wisely. I've tip toed around this concern for a couple of years and it is only recently I feel I have confidence to be upfront about. All the best X

I think it reasonable to say that you don't need anything so really no need for gifts,but to request alternatives such as meals and money is bordering on cheeky fuckery territory. You have no right to tell people what to do with their time and money OP.

I disagree with you previous poster. It's practical. If it's coming into your space and your life you do have a right to express your preferences. Whether they choose to respect that or not is absolutely up to them.

A gift is meant to be just that - a gift to you/your baby. So I do think it's OK to say what HJWT has said - mention casually that you're not expecting anything but if they were to get anything please don't feel you need to.

i personally would be very happt to hear this and have you be open wtih me as the last thing i'd want is to buy you a gift and then have it sit in a room somewhere or in a drawer not being used and a waste of money.

unless you can think of one particular item that you know you'll need (like the nappies suggestion).

I’d also hope that friends/family have enough sense to know that if we’re two or three children in, we have the basics (especially if children the same sex).

No don't do this, it's rude. People saying others were more than happy, they weren't! I can pick up a nice little outfit for or cardigan for under £10 if someone asks for money or a voucher I feel like I'd have to give at least £20. If anyone asks then yep say we've got everything really but nappies and wet wipes or bibs are always uselful but again don't expect a certain type. Just be greatful for getting a gift. It's not costing you anything.

I don't think asking for no gifts is rude.

But I generally always give chocolate and a gift card anyway.

@snowflakeeel I would LOVE to know how you do it! We are quite minimalist & I am wondering were baby #2 will go when he arrives 😂 also in a 2 bed xx