To leave a birthday telephone call until evening?

[millstonegrit]

DF's birthday today. Card and present sent and arriving today. At about 7.30 this morning I sent him a text to wish him happy birthday and then set off to work as I had a lot on and needed an early start. When I arrive I receive the following

Hi Millstone thanks for text but a phone call would be more appreciated on my birthday love dad

I am then up to my eyes in work and so ring him as soon as I get in the door at 7.30pm but no answer so leave a message.

He has form for being controlling so I can't decide if IABU for not calling or if this is a bit of a power play?

YANBU

I wouldn’t have tried to ring him after his rude text/emotional black mail text. A polite version would have been ‘Thank you, I hope your day goes well. It would be lovely to chat to you later if your free’.

Make a mental note to ring him at 6am next year.
Ungrateful fook....

YANBU Controlling drama! I have family like this - who rings someone at half 7 in the morning before work? I'd be worried about waking them up. I have a parent like this and this shit drives me bonkers (personal experience might be clouding my view!)

Emotional blackmail.

He's had a text, card and present so he can't say he's been neglected. How old is he? 5?

YANBU. This is what I do with my DF.

He'd go mad if I woke him up phoning him before I went to work!

I wouldn’t expect someone to ring me until at least lunchtime on a working day.

YANBU

I hate when grown adults act so bloody needy for no reason! It’s his birthday all day, you acknowledged it early in the day and were going to call him after work. Maybe next year send a text saying “I will call to wish you happy birthday when I’ve finished work you ungrateful sod“

There would never have been a need for such a guilt trippy message, but if he was genuinely upset at the thought of not speaking to you he should’ve waited til you hadn’t called him all day, not assumed that you weren’t going to bother. And then instead of being a dick about it, he should’ve picked up the phone and called you!

I think older people don't see texts as proper communication and prefer phone calls and cards etc.

Calling him just wasn't a priority for you. I can't imagine what you were doing all day that meant you couldn't take 10 minutes to call at lunch - are you a surgeon?

Yanbu

Text, card and gift. Phone call not at desired time though

Your df is a CF

I’m not sure most people would prefer a birthday call at 7:30am! If you’re not rushing out the door to work (and therefore don’t really have time) then you’d probably be having a lie-in. It doesn’t seem very nice to have interpreted the text as a bit of a cop out, when it was just a nice morning message.

I am a Child Protection Social Worker!

He probably/possibly hadn't received the gift and card when he texted you.
He is still BU though! And somewhat childish if he is deliberately avoiding your calls.

He is BVU

You are not.

Who wants a birthday phonecall before the crack of dawn ? Not me, and I guess even less so if I were retired and not even having to get up myself.

I personally don't see anything wrong with what you did at all, my dad is laid back but he wouldn't even expect us to text him first thing if we were on our way to work as mornings are busy for everyone.

Sounds to me like he's just trying to complain about something.

He is BU, ungrateful and childish. Whilst I can see his point that he would have preferred to hear from you by phone, it was churlish to say that to you.

Do you normally text in the morning and ring later? If so, he is being even more unreasonable.

He's an adult who, presumably, knows you have a job, he should understand that it's not always possible to phone fro work. I'm a SAHM so whenever it's my parents' birthdays now, I generally text early and say happy birthday and tell them I'll call later, when I know we'll both be free, just so they know I haven't forgotten. But when I was working, they just knew they wouldn't get a phone call until the evening, as they knew when I worked. Surely all adults know that work comes first?

My mother in-law does this it's so pathetic when she will have received a card etc. Forgets that we both work and as she natters away for so long you can't just have a 5 minute conversation!

Sorry but I agree with Paintingowls being busy is just an excuse for him not being very high up on your priority list. A quick phone call would only have taken 2 minutes.

Many people have parents with whom it is impossible to have a ten minute phone call. One has to put in the full hour.

YANBU I have had years of this, trying to get kids sorted and out the door and myself to work ......parents phoning me at work to ask if I have phoned dsis or Db .....no ....I am at work! It wasn’t until they had to live with u for a whole that they fully appreciated why early morning calls are never going to happen and now understand that when I walk in the door too knackered to speak I need an hour or so to wind down ....I always text early or mid morning anyway but that has driven me nuts for years

I have never had a 2 minute call with my parents ....ever .....they always think of 150 things to say .....none of which involve me and are normally about people I have never met.....just as I am trying to get off the phone.

he could be a precious person or he could also be saying as he is older, wish I heard from you more, sometimes the person can't just say, I love you, want to hear from you, particularly if they have been controlling in the past.

YANBU and there is absolutely no reason why work can’t take a higher priority to your parent/s, especially as you then tried to call him in the evening.