I used to consider it abuse but then I realised that yes, it was nasty but I should have learned to not provoke him. Some of the time it was undeserved, but many times he was just trying to help me be less loud and annoying. He liked peace and quiet and I was a noisy little brat.
It's so sad that he's damaged you so deeply that you've convinced yourself of this. Some abused children become withdrawn, but not all.
He was the adult, you were the child - and a child behaving like any other child.
The responsibility was on him to stop abusing you, not for you to learn to somehow not make him abuse you. He would have find an excuse, no matter how quiet you became. Abuse is about wielding power, not a desire for "peace and quiet".
You may not see it, but the way you talk about yourself and interpret what was done to you is absolutely characteristic of an abused child. The only perspective a child has is that if something bad happens it must be their fault - and you're still talking that way, the way any abused child explains why they are being abused.
I hope you will seek support instead of tormenting yourself for not being some mythical perfect child and then using your own self blame to justify the abuse of other children.