Page 2 | Giving lifts.

peppapigger · 2019-05-09T12:35:40+00:00

Don't know if I'm being unreasonable or have encountered a CF. Constantly being asked for lifts to and from work by colleague. Not having to go out or my way, but never been offered any money all the years I have done it. Aibu to be annoyed ? How do I say no politely.

RedWineAllMine · 09/05/2019 15:54

You've been doing it for 4 years, so they think it's ok. This needed to be nipped in the bud years ago if you didn't like doing it. Why have you done it for so long? They just see it as the norm now

Original poster

peppapigger · 09/05/2019 16:02

At the start I didn't mind, now it's doing my head in. If you want to have the luxury of a car, learn to drive and have the expense like everyone fucking else. I'll just keep making exuses every time until they take the hint. Or as a PP said I might join an imaginary gym the opposite direction and "go there" straight from work.

OP posts:

Original poster

peppapigger · 09/05/2019 16:03

I'm not great at saying no. So by the time it started annoying me, it was the "norm" and made it even harder to say no.

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Original poster

peppapigger · 09/05/2019 16:05

I've even had to stop off for fuel en route home. No fucks were given by her then either to contribute. The rage is real now.

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RedWineAllMine · 09/05/2019 16:21

Then just say no. Say you need to learn to drive and buy a car. You're too soft

SophieTurnersEyebrows · 09/05/2019 16:28

In the nicest possible way you need to grow a pair OP, and just say they it isn't convenient for you anymore.

AnnieMay100 · 09/05/2019 16:44

Fill your car with random crap so there’s no space for anyone but you
‘Car has broken down and in the garage’ park your car a few roads away
Change jobs

In all seriousness just be honest with them that you can’t keep doing it/ not going their way and can’t afford the extra fuel costs they’re being cheeky expecting it so you don’t even need an explanation

Accountant222 · 09/05/2019 16:45

I had this at one of my jobs, she worked in personal and looked up who lived near her. She was a bitter miserable old cow. I said if I see you at the bus stop, when dropping my son at school I'll pick you up, but she somehow managed to make it an everyday event. She used to stand at my desk five minutes before we finished, I worked in export and some of my contacts would only just be starting their working day, so I'd sometimes stay another hour or so, she'd be looking at her watch tutting.

After about two months I told her it wasn't working, she never spoke to me again- result!

ImposterSyndrome101 · 09/05/2019 17:12

@Accountant222, oh wow she had a brass neck on her.

The whole giving people lifts thing is one of the main reasons why I don't drive. I need to learn and will be doing so once I've sorted my finances out so I can actually afford it. I live with a CF, she's a lovely person but even once I know how to drive I won't be buying a car because she'd expect lifts here there and everywhere for her and her friends and I cba with that. I'm happier and less stressed walking, bussing and getting the train for now and only accept lifts from other people as a one off. Usually showing my thanks by giving them some sort of baked goods or a nicer gift than normal.

ImposterSyndrome101 · 09/05/2019 17:12

@Accountant222, oh wow she had a brass neck on her.

The whole giving people lifts thing is one of the main reasons why I don't drive. I need to learn and will be doing so once I've sorted my finances out so I can actually afford it. I live with a CF, she's a lovely person but even once I know how to drive I won't be buying a car because she'd expect lifts here there and everywhere for her and her friends and I cba with that. I'm happier and less stressed walking, bussing and getting the train for now and only accept lifts from other people as a one off. Usually showing my thanks by giving them some sort of baked goods or a nicer gift than normal.

NannyRed · 09/05/2019 17:14

“I’m not going directly home” and “I’m not coming from home” should work if you’re too bothered to say I just don’t want to drive you home.

OnlyRealButterWillDo · 09/05/2019 17:36

Just keep doing what you're doing, saying no. Say no enough times and they will stop asking.

"I'm not going that way", "My car's in the garage", "I'm already giving lifts so there's no room" or hell, just a simple, "Sorry, no can do."

fedup21 · 09/05/2019 17:39

Presume she’s asking you for a lift home when you’re both at work?

Sorry, no-I’m going straight out after work!

Should do the trick.

Or is she texting you?

Glitterblue · 09/05/2019 17:41

I got lifts from a colleague from our town to another town about 15 miles away and I paid her half the fuel she used over the 5 days,every single week. I would feel very bad getting lifts and not contributing. She didn't have to go out of her way but it was only fair that I paid half because even though she was going anyway, I'd have had to get a bus which I'd have been paying for if I hadn't gone with her

Housewife2010 · 09/05/2019 17:51

One of my friends always asks me for lifts. She doesn't live near me. I can go home via her house but it takes longer. She doesn't seem to realise that we don't live near each other. What really annoyed me was when she seemed affronted when I told her I couldn't give her and her two chidren a lift home because I had my two children with me and it's a five person car. I'm not prepared to break the law and risk my licence ( which it took me a very long time to get) to keep her happy. That made me resent her constant asking and I have had a few "fake" errands after the school run now so I don't have to give her a lift.

peppapigisapest · 14/05/2019 09:19

@Housewife2010 I've invented some "errands" lol. It's so bloody annoying. I've even dropped hints, "so don't you ever fancy learning to drive?" They say they can't afford it, but can go abroad every year