To no want my 11 year old ds to become a vegetarian...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

He has decided he want stop eating meet. At first he said he was just giving it up for a week which turned out to be a trial to see of he could do it. The thing is I turned vege myself when I was his age and stayed a vegetarian for 5 years but did struggle as there wasn’t much choice back then. The thing is ds is a fussy eater he would live off pasta and cheese. I’ve brought lots of quorn etc but he isn’t keen on most of it. Whilst I am happy to support him he needs to eat a balanced diet not just stop eating meat. Any advice!!

If I were you I would tell him exactly what you've said here i.e. that you are happy to support him but he needs to eat a balanced diet. I'd ask him to do some research on what he needs and come up with some ideas as to how he'll do that in a way that fits with things he likes. Give him some responsibility for the decision. Frankly if he doesn't want to eat meat then there's little you can do to force him to so it's best to work with him to make it a positive process and way of testing whether he really is committed.

What are his reasons for becoming vegetarian? Ethical or does he not like the taste/texture of meat (if the latter, can see why he won't like meat alternatives).

Does he eat veg/pulses/lentils etc?

My dd did this aged 9. She tried it for a week, then I talked to her about the fact that she was a bit fussy, and she decided that she would wait until her palate was a little wider. I aim for at least 1 meatless meal a week, and try to introduce her to new veg or beans, etc. So far, her tastes are getting more varied, but she's still not totally veggie yet

Make him research and cook at least one veggie meal a week for the family. It will teach him about nutrition and how to cook and lessen the burden on you. If he's not serious it will put him off, if he is ( as I was at that age) it will stand him in good stead.

Gosh, there is so much vegetarian food these days. Can you convince him to give new foods a go rather than just living off pasta? Show him that he needs to get his protein elsewhere and not just from cheese!

My DD was vegetarian between 11 and 14, then slowly drifted back into occasionally eating some fish & chicken at home. We probably eat vegetarian food 75% of our evening meals at home and it's only my DS who loves meat. We never eat quorn though, i'm not a fan of meat substitutes.

Our top meals are are chillis, curries and stir frys. My best veggie chilli has chocolate in it and i make a huge pot so that i can keep several batches in the freezer.

DD has been veggie from birth and is also a fusspot! Quite a bit of trial and error has gone on, plus I’m not as obsessed about protein as some people are, but by and large she eats pretty well. We don’t have any quorn but we do have veggie sausages (Sainsbury’s frozen ones).

I would perhaps start off with having something like 3 days a week meat/fish free, see how you get on and take it from there.

Agree with the other PPs. Tell him that if he is old enough to decide to go veggie, he is old enough to research (with your help) what he need nutritionally and help meal plan. Maybe even tell him he has to make / help make one dinner a week. Make it clear that being veggie is not a route to living on pasta. Get some vegetarian cookbooks or magazines and get him to pick out things he likes.

(Personally if it were me I'd probably say no, you are too young, fish and a bit of red meat and chicken are the quickest and easiest way to get a balance diet so until you can cook a balanced diet for yourself, bad luck. But I'm trying to be more constructive above than I would be in real life!)

It makes me laugh that people think ‘just not eating the meat’ Is SO terrible.

If your meals don’t have enough nutrition in them if you remove the meat, then they’re not nutritious and your child has survived thus far.

Meat eaters seem to think some cheap sausages, fatty mince, watery chicken etc makes their meals SO nutritious.

It’s utterly ridiculous.

There are loads of meat substitutes out there now. Quorn isn't the only one and different types of quorn are very different. I would get him a multi vitamin with iron and B12 in it and let him get on with it. He may well only try it for a few weeks or months and then stop.

I can't comment on what veggie substitutes are more meat like as Ive been veggie since 14 and so really don't remember eating meat. But my favourites are:

Quorn sausages (if doing toad in the hole or roast dinner type thing with (onion) gravy. I imagine these to be more meat like but as I said, probably all in my head.
Linda McCartney Mozzarella burgers - these are TVP type dark grey stuff - look like cheap beef burger but have mozzarella in as well.
Homemade bean burgers - especially nice when someone else makes them (this is my attitude to all food now though!)
I use quorn 'mince' in cooking eg veggie bolognaise or quorn pieces or unbranded equivalent if doing curry. In both cases its just a texture thing and they just taste of whatever sauce you put them in.

I don't eat a huge amount of beans/pulse or eggs. I don't massively like them. Obviously these are the other potential sources of protein. I don't drink milk either.

If you are letting him cut out meat then make sure either he takes a B12 supplement or that he keeps eating/drinking milk etc and eggs otherwise he could end up B12 deficient. Generally though unless you are a really really fussy eater its not that hard to get a healthy vegetarian diet or to eat out. Completely different to 20 years ago.

My son gave up meat when he was9. He lasted a whole year. He based his English Language Board exam on it (you have to do a talk to independant panel about a subject you are passionate about). I was very proud that he was able to stick with it when the rest of the family had roast dinners and bacon etc. He didn’t have the most balanced diet but he was perfectly healthy. He gave up at Christmas but when he was 13 he got totally into healthy eating and cooked all his own meals and got very fit. He got the annual head of year star prize for being a positive influence at school. He’s now going into fitness as a career.
Be supportive and don’t obsess too much about all those macros etc - most kids seem to have appalling diets maybe this will spark a real interest in nutrition like it did for my son.

Yabu I think.
Is he doing it for ethical reasons?
It's hard at that age to be forced to do something you think is wrong.

There's so much veggie food out there.

Last night we had falafel from farm foods (loads of veggie stuff cheap there ) with a big spread of things to choose from to put into pitta.
The kids all chose what they fancied.

Same with tacos.
Or paninis.
It's not tough to make meals with enough variation for people with strong food preferences.

My kids used to have little cards and a roulette wheel thing with fruit and vegetables they should try during the week.

They suggested it themselves.

It seemed to make them more open to trying new things.

i did this around his age.
the one thing i was going to miss at that age was sausages, so my mum made sausages every weekend for breakfast a couple of weekends in a row and i caved.

i wasn't allowed them unless i gave up the charade.

i was also quite a fussy eater, refused to eat anything but supernoodles for a while - yuck!

my mum was very strict though and now i'll eat almost anything!

That sounds a pretty unpleasant thing for your mum to have done! Jesus.

What do you think he is missing from not eating meat? It wont be as much as you think.

Let him do it. Not eating meat isn't a big deal actually you should be proud that you've raised such a compassionate child.

Will he take a supplement?

What do you think he is missing from not eating meat?

Probably iron if he won't eat green veg or pulses.

I rarely eat meat as does our 3 year old by default although she does eat fish. I hate quorn and rarely eat it there are so many other sources of protein that it is not necessary.

I have a morbidly obese vegetarian relative. When I asked their siblings how this was possible on a vegetarian diet, I was told “Oh, DB doesn’t eat vegetables!”.
Said relative apparently lived on pasta, junk food, puddings and wine.
OP, there is a risk that your DS will also go down the high carb junk food route, as it’s so much easier and more tempting to a child than eating actual healthy vegetables.
As PPs have said, get DS to research his diet, plan nutritionally balanced meals, get enough iron, protein and B12. Get him cooking too- why should you have to provide two completely different meals every night.

I was didn't eat meat for around 20 years and then nearly died from pneumonia. Tests found I was deficient in pretty much everything and doctor after doctor asked if I was vegetarian.
I now eat a very small amount of high welfare meat, but have also improved my vegetarian meals (a PP said just removing the meat from usual meals is enough- it isn't). Lots of lentils/ beans and tofu as well as a really wide range of veg including leafy green varieties.
I would advise you and your DS to plan things very carefully, and pay particular attention to veggie/vegan ready meals, sausages etc. to make sure he is getting everything he needs in his diet.

Try cooking (or get him to cook) with different proteins -

Dried red lentils (for thick stew)
Pre-cooked puy lentils (mixed into salad)

Tinned red kidney beans in chilli sauce (add to bolognese veg)
Tinned chickpeas (drain & roast these with veg for a fahjita mix)

Slice tofu or tempeh (and roast/fry as a meat substitute)

I did it at his age for 20 years! Until I got pregnant and it must have been the first time I had bloods done in that time I was B12, Iron and Vit D deficient but also had an under active thyroid so all related! I now eat meat and I'll still deficient!

I think let him meal plan and research together. Also eating plant based isn't terrible - we all need to eat more veg and less meat: for the sake of the Earth. Help him - I would.

What did your son eat/not eat when he still ate meat? So many dishes can easily be made vegetarian in a way that's still healthy, for example chilli with beans and/or veggie mince, pasta with veggie mince, curries with chickpeas, lentils and/or paneer cheese, lasagna with puy lentils or veggie mince, stirfry with nuts and tofu.

You say he isn't keen on 'most' quorn. I'm not sure that's a problem if there are a couple of things he does like? Nutritionally, I don't think it makes any difference whether he eats the same quorn burger 3 times a week, or switches between different quorn products.