Unplanned pregnancy

[Regreteitherway]

Sorry, posting for traffic. Not an aibu.

I really don't know what to do for the best and need some impartial advice.

Recently found out I am pregnant. Very very early days, only took the test because I was having the same symptoms as last time I was pregnant.

Recent single mum to a 1 year old. Stupidly had unprotected sex with a new man. Since found out he has a girlfriend.

Every sensible part of me is telling me I cannot keep this baby. I will have no support from the father. I am still mentally struggling from birth related PTSD and pnd. My sons father will deliberately make things difficult for me. I cannot financially support 2 children, I barely scrape by supporting 1. And I'm physically not ready for being pregnant, the sleepless nights etc etc

I know all the reasons I cannot continue with this, but I still keep thinking I can't just end this.

I know I'm stupid, I know I should have used protection. But it's done now. I just need help making this massive life changing decision because I am sure I'm going to regret it either way.

OP, this was a mistake, but guess what? People make mistakes, it’s a very human thing to do. Learn from it, but don’t punish yourself or beat yourself up.

Make the best decisions for yourself and your son, it really doesn’t matter if anyone approves of your course of action or not (whatever that course is). It’s your life and you have to live it as best as you see fit.

I have made my decision now. Hardest choice I've ever had to make.

I'm never having sex again haha too risky 😂

Best to you OP

@Regreteitherway
Positives to keep your baby pregnancy?
Would that be your family completed, do you want your son to have siblings
(rather than looking to find a new relationship to have more kids to complete your family).

Might be nice to have them close together, get the newborn and toddler stages done in one go, get the sleepless nights out the way now. rather than having a gap and going back to that stage again later in life.

Finances, you'll get additional child tax credits etc for the second.

More kids, more to love.
This baby is part you, would be lovely if you kept it. These things can be planned and worked out

I know this sounds crazy, but if you really didn't want to risk pregnancy you wouldn't of taken the risk.

Well, that's just about the silliest thing I ever heard. And that's saying something after years on here...!!

Finances, you'll get additional child tax credits etc for the second.

Those are gone. It's all UC now and if you are not on UC now, you soon will be because migration onto it from legacy benefits is on-going.

More kids, more to love.
This baby is part you, would be lovely if you kept it. These things can be planned and worked out

Fatuous nonsense. Often 'these things' cannot be planned and worked out and the OP doesn't want to continue.

Often 'these things' cannot be planned and worked out
Why not? I can't see any insurmountable obstacles here

It's not for you to decide, Hello, the OP sees it as so and so has decided not to proceed. Relying on the benefits system is a bad idea these days, anyhow, in an era of UC. Not everyone wants to have loads of kids and some people want to be responsible and pay their own way in life.

Don’t beat yourself up, OP - everyone makes mistakes, and I really feel for you.

It sounds like there are very sensible reasons for a termination, but you can’t help how you feel and it is nobody’s choice but yours.

There are various charities and services who can offer you advice and support - I would try those to help you decide what you want to do

@ItalianEarthernware
It's not for you to decide
She asked for opinions, i gave mine. It's fine if it differs from yours, geeesh. Pro-choice/pro-abortion people are always so touchy unless everyone agrees with them explicitly. She said finances were a concern in making her choice, i didn't recommend a life on the dole. Most families arent 100% self sustaining, they get UC or child tax credits, child benefits, child care voucher schemes, take statuory maternity leave, it's all government assistance. If someone is unexpected pregnant hopefully finances shouldnt be the biggest hurdle or deciding factor, if she did want to continue her pregnancy, maybe thats idealistic @ItalianEarthernware, or a practicality that can actually be worked upon.

You can’t have a child out of guilt,it’s not fair on you or the child .
If you think you can get some help and be able to raise another then that’s fantastic but do not beat yourself up if you decide you just can’t bring another child into the world on your own in your current situation