To think life would be easier

[mrsgandy]

At my age . I'm constantly anxious about money. I'll admit I'm lucky after years of hard work mortgage is paid and no debt but due to unforeseen circumstances we had to wipe our savings. Things are broken we can't afford to replace , son in uni so that comes first but AIBU to have thought I could not be worrying about all this in my 50s. Dh is self employed and it's tough at times . Right now I see no light at end of tunnel. I'm terrified something big will happen and we bit left high and dry.

I think as you get older you worry about money more because you realise you have a limited number of years of paid work ahead of you. Along with increasing worries about health.

Mirrivan surely the definition of asset is something that has a positive value? Yes a house costs money to maintain as opposed to shares for example , but their value doesn't tend to go up and down so much (except in massive economic crash situation). Also, the op has paid off her mortgage. We are not talking about negative equity here.

Being on mumsnet is so depressing sometimes. I'll never own my own home due to chronic illness let alone ever not worry about money. Working part time with a mortgage paid off at 50 is very good going OP, I realise to an extent these things are relative of course and you cannot help how you feel but positioning that as precarious financial hardship borders on ignorant when you consider the financial position of a lot of this country, and indeed, the world. You could consider looking into full time work if you want to build back up any savings lost or feel more secure financially as an individual. Is your part time work separate to your husbands business? If not I can see where feelings of personal precariousness might come from I suppose.

Your son is over 18 so doesn't need to pose a financial burden. Assuming he is healthy he will surely take on a student loan, has reduced accommodation from his parents and will likely inherit from you one day. He too has a lot of advantages most don't have and is set up to succeed.

Perhaps it would be better to explore the anxiety in and of itself which sounds like the real problem, and understand why the money specifically is what keeps you up at night and prompts symptoms of anxiety. See the GP, see a therapist etc, talking therapy can be very helpful to explore why we feel the way we do. Anxiety is no joke OP, it is so affecting, in that regard you have nothing but empathy

I can empathise OP. I am a low earner and have prioritised paying my mortgage which is almost gone but I am mid fifties so not that unusual. However I agree it is a worry about stuff needing replacing and fixing as I don't earn enough to save any more but also don't fall into the categories that attract grants for boilers etc. I feel that my house I worked so hard to pay for is going to crumble around me over the next few years and can't risk remortgaging as my job probably isn't that secure and getting a new decent job at my age and in my location won't be a doddle. However, we are fortunate as our homes are secure even if we cant afford to run them well.

Hi OP,
I think you just need to flip your thinking right on it's head and bask in your achievements. Instead of thinking about things being tough at times and whether it should be easier how about...

...wow look at me now - my house paid off, one of my children a young adult at uni and only one more year until I can go full time and things will get easier...and we've achieved all this despite some health issues (and probably other dramas) along the way. ...If anything goes off course now I'll handle it - like I always have.

(In your head of course - cause we don't like to brag)
Best wishes for the future

@Pegsinarow yes I'm in throes of menopause too and think that's where my heightened anxiety stems from.

I don't personally think my house is a liability although yes the maintenance can be worrying but I have a home so grateful for that . Will focus on all the positives and try not to let the worries come through .

@RaininSummer I hear you on the boiler ! I'm getting pretty good at plumbing lol !

No my work is separate to Dh .

Hi OP
I was treated by a therapist for anxiety and depression, she told me that "You're allowed to feel what you feel. Never mind anyone else right now."
I was bottling everything up, ageing parents, depressed sibling, being burden on parents. I have disabilities, so I need help for a lot of things. I kept thinking "others have it worse, so mustn't grumble". My therapist said the feeling frustrated and upset was fine, a natural response to not being able to do things. Let yourself accept the anxiety, you're allowed to be worried. It doesn't matter that "others have it worse", yourself - for want of a way to explain - is still valid.
You're worried about financial stability with no nest egg, That Is Reasonable.

Sorry so long.

I've been working for 39 years with a total of 3 months off for maternity leave and 18 months off spread over two periods of having been made redundant and one period of being jobless. So 37 years of working altogether.
Due to getting divorced 14 years ago, my mortgage isn't paid off for another 7 years. And being a single mother (whose ex refused to pay CM), I don't have a second wage coming in.

Yes, from my point of view YABVU - no mortage, two people earning, you're better off than me and lots of people

Why should I fuck off

@justbreathing - because your "HTH" was anything but helpful and rather snippy.

Equity release

you are mortgage free, that's huge!

Don't think that you can't afford to replace things, but you wisely chose not to go into debts and save to only spend what you have.

You feel anxious about money because you have no saving, but you really forget that you have no debt! You are in the best position you could be. If your circumstances change, then you'll adapt, but you are in a good position already.

To be fair, sometimes you feel like you are better off not owning a property and you can get a lot of help from the government when others get nothing at all. This is changing for the best thankfully, so being a home owner will really be worth it in the years to come.

@CateisLate
I wasn’t trying to be helpful
I was trying to point out how lucky the op is.
In your 50s and no debt! And mortgage free. I mean ffs

You know you can replace things on zero % repayment. That’s pretty common.
It’s not debt. It’s just spreads by your cost.

All great points . I never thought to get something on interest free . Might look at that .

justbreathing

HTH stands for hope this helps or happy to help. So you were just being snippy then?

To be fair, sometimes you feel like you are better off not owning a property and you can get a lot of help from the government when others get nothing at all.
^^ This made me laugh.

The Government has done everything it can to help homeowners with more than a decade of rock bottom interest rates and various schemes such as Help to Buy and Shared Ownership to keep house prices inflated.

A person who owns a house outright has the option of using Equity Release if they need to, and continue to live in their home - so many people don’t/will never have that choice.