to want a week off?

[scooter125]

Is it unreasonable to want a week off? Have a stepdaughter (21) who has a whole raft of MH issues, who abuses us on a daily basis, with threats, occasional violence, ludicrous accusations etc etc etc.
There's no way on earth we could ever go on holiday with her and she can't be left alone. I dare not even suggest to her mother that I jet off to Spain for a week on my own. You see it's a bit of a thing with me. As I child I wasn't taken on holiday, then for twenty years I was with my ex who wouldn't travel because of "nerves" (?) I'm stuck here and to be quite honest I'm losing the will. I watch constant videos on YouTube of jets landing in Malaga and Alicante and just think. I know I'll wake up tomorrow morning to the rain running down the window pane and it all starts again. Oh joy.

I'll get flamed for this but here goes.

Leave her. Seriously mate. This is the only life you'll ever have. Pack your bags and leave. There is no heaven. There is no hell. This is it. This now is our only eternity. You've still got 15, 20, 25 years life. Travel. Go to India. Run 10ks. Do charity work. Go hill walking. Live your life the way you want if you're not satisfied.

Lordy, jameswong, the man can probably manage a couple of mini-breaks without decimating his entire family!

There’s a bit more to life than ‘Run, be free!!’ surely...

And frankly if we’re talking about the OP’s best interests, he’ll need support in his old age too. He’s unlikely to find it on the international backpacker trail. He might also like someone to discuss his travels with and show off his pics!

You can get an overnight ferry to Rotterdam, free bus to Amsterdam, 5 hours there & overnight ferry back. Can you all go ?
If you both became sick or sadly passed away, what is the the plan for your SD ?
Why don't you find something that you have always wanted to see or do & say that you have waited for 20 years & you really want to go, plan & do it !
Life is too short for regrets !

Can you imagine another 20 years with no travel ?
You need to find a way to achieve your goal

Why do people have to bring Brexit into everything, your inability to go on holiday for 20 to 40 years is down to you. To prove how right on and virtuous Remainers are I suppose. For your information OP I'm a Brexiteer and am not a little Englander, and lots of people who voted brexit enjoy travel - but it's pointless arguing with these stupid examples of Remainers prejudice

Stupid comment OP, lots of Brexiteers enjoy travel. I think Op is the one with low horizons, and just blaming others

I think respite care is the solution here, I'm sure your partner needs a break just as much as you do.

Does your SD have regular contact with the MH team? If so, her CPN might be able to help find somewhere that SD could be supported for a few days. Also ask for a carer's assessment from Adult Social Care.

I also think that her longer-term issues should be addressed. She can't live with her mother and you for ever and should be looking towards becoming independent, but in some sort of supported accommodation.

Is she ever hospitalised? That sort of thing is easiest addressed as part of the discharge planning process (well, it is in Sussex, I realise not everywhere's the same).

I met someone who was in their 60s. Their wife was sick & unable to travel abroad. Their top tip, was travel while you are young & healthy

The whole point about Brexit is a simple one, really. That referendum unlike general elections is irreversible. And to be decided on such a slim majority just makes it worse. What has happened is that it's polarised the country, party politics has taken a back seat and the only issue that divides is whether you're for or against. It's never, ever going to be resolved, no matter what. People who probably didn't have much of an opinion either way have fallen on one side or the other, and there's no going back. Unlike most remainers I don't want a second referendum, they should leave now, no matter what. What kind of deal wasn't a question on the ballot paper, it just asked in or out. I daresay that the pro-Brexit side would be calling for a second referendum had the result gone the other way, but that's irrelevant. No point complaining, for heaven's sake I wish they'd just get on with it. Of course the Brexit thing gets brought up all the time, and it will until they get on with it and forget it ever happened. Bon Chance!

DH and I both travel independently sometimes, we both work and have school-aged children who do lots of activities, so it's a right pain for the parent left at home.

But, we recognise that everyone needs a break to recharge sometimes and we're happy to enable that to happen. Perhaps starting with a shorter break might be a good way to approach it. Could you go away for a weekend and see how things go? Your DP might realise that she can cope with her DD alone and then be more receptive to a longer holiday.

DH was away for a long weekend last week (four days total). It meant a lot of extra driving and chores for me, but he came back happy and refreshed after spending time with old friends. So it was a win-win for everyone really.

I agree why can't you travel alone, with friend or in a group ?
Surely if you work/worked you were out of the house 40 hours a week + commute, unless you worked from home