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AIBU?

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Confused

2 replies

peacepaz · 08/05/2019 22:09

My mother got a boyfriend the last year before I headed off to college. My younger sister had issues from the beginning of their relationship because she was deeply affected by the passing of my stepfather. My sister told my mom the boyfriend was sexually abusive. It was ruled out as a case by children protective services. My mom has her side of the story, but after a few years my sister told me her side. I don't know how to feel especially because I have first hand witnessed my mom place a boyfriend in front of her children. Now, as an adult and with a daughter, I see a lot of her behavior as damaging to herself and others. She has recklessly placed us as girls in compromising circumstances with males without realizing it. Now, I have to bring up the fact I want that man no where near my daughter which is sure going to cause some issues with my mother. It will show to her I distrust her judgement as a mother and her side of the story. I love her because she's my mother, but I'm deeply concerned because she's been allowing my disabled brother in her guardianship to hang out with a shady drunken crowd for cheap laughs. She sees nothing wrong with her actions.

OP posts:
JuniFora · 08/05/2019 22:16

Just be honest. You are protecting your daughter from potentially predatory men, that's your responsibility as a mother. She has no right to demand you fall to her low standards. She had her chance to parent and put her kids at risk, she doesn't get to make bad choices for other people's kids.

If you think your brother is at risk, contact social services.

You need to see her opinion of your choices as irrelevant. It really is.

peacepaz · 09/05/2019 14:09

@JuniFora you're right if she doesn't agree that's too bad. Also, I can almost guarantee her reaction will be defensive. It saddens me to question her judgement so deeply. But, a lot of things are coming to light now that I'm an adult.

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