To skip wider family holiday

[merrygoround51]

Lots of backstory so I am not drip-feeding but in summary;

My eldest DS is 11 and I have been on 4 holidays /short breaks with my DM and the children.
Also over the past 11 years, just myself and DM have been on 2 trips to US and about 4 trips to European cities Paris etc. I pay for all these, no issue with that, I have the cash. However time is challenging, I work and travel quite regularly.

The last joint holiday with DM and the children was a disaster. DM likes to stay up late drinking, I do not. DC demanded my attention, DM wants my attention, you get the drift.....

Over the last 5 years, twice we have shared 1 week of our family holiday with DS and her children (great, we all got on wonderfully)
Last year we shared 1 week of our holiday with other DB and his family (again great we all got on wonderfully) Another year we shared 1 week of our holiday with DH sisters.
Every year a 4-5 day long weekend is spent with his family. We see a lot more of my family than his, due to location.

This year DB is doing a wider family holiday with his in laws and our parents. I don't want to go as I just think its too many people and it wont be relaxing.

I know it would mean a huge amount to my DM, I know the kids would love it but my DH would hate it so AIBU to not go.

You shouldn't feel bad about saying no - you have done more than enough. Wouldn't you like a family holiday with just your children and DH?

I think when your family members start making you feel guilty and it becomes an obligation the you have a problem. Say no. Seems stressful.

Bloody hell you have a lot of holidays

Thanks Poglets, the fact that my DM and DH don't get on makes it all quite stressful.

I do find it irritating that my DH is more than happy to spend the few days with his wider family but baulks at mine, but then again he has done a few of the holidays when we cross over with DS, DB etc ....

SSd thats over 11 years. I do work hard for them !

Why don’t you just visit the relatives and do your own holidays? Seems a bit too much to me.

If your dm would like the kids to go, why doesn't she take them and give you a break? My parents took mine away when they were younger, as holiday childcare!

Stucknoue - My DM has made it clear that she does not do childcare when on holiday. She told my brother she wont watch his kids while he and his wife go out for dinner one night

It's one thing to go on holidays with your own family, but why on earth would your brother think you'd want to go with his in laws? Book your own holiday and politely decline the extended family holiday.