Hey guys! My 1st post!
I’ve known this guy for about 5 years. We worked in the same industry so it was a few
texts here and there and a “hello” when we saw each other. He was in a long-term relationship with a son and I’d sometimes ask about her and the son.
Fast forward to the last 2 years, we became closer. We both realised we got on really well so our friendship grew like brother and sister. Such a lovely guy! Last year him and his friends surprised me on my birthday and took me out. Spent lots of money on fun and champagne. From then on we became even closer. I’d seek his advice about guys wanting to date me and he’d talk about his now fiancé and son.
As time went on he confided in me (we spoke almost everyday) about how he’s tried to leave her many times but she’ll threaten him about seeing his son, how they’ve broken up many times and he’s dated other girls but they ran away eventually because they didn’t really believe he’d split up with his baby’s mother. He’d also complain about her being a bad mother and how her family asks him for money and that he felt stuck with her. I would always advise him to be patient and things will get better. I’d say don’t break up a family and you love her.
Anyway he went to the US last September. Came back and said he’s finally found courage to leave her. I laughed and resisted saying you don’t break up with someone after 7 years. He said he’d grown to love me, that I’m amazing and he can’t let this chance pass him by. I felt the same, he’s giving, caring, good listener, so sweet etc. We started a relationship. It was amazing!!!! Met some of his family, we went out to do dinners, clubs, we discussed having a kid in one year and where we’d live. He said he’d fallen head over heels in love with me. I asked a few times sternly for him to use a condom but he insisted I use the pill instead. After 1 month we’d had a small argument at his house. He’d been moody all day and stayed away from me for half the day so I was like look you invited me to stay here the weekend, I don’t live far, if you want to be alone I’ll come back later - this was after asking if he’s okay and trying to make him feel better. He said I was too sensitive and broke up with me. He broke up with me another 2 times over the next 2 months. He would ignore me for days at a time, I would beg and beg and then he’d make up when he’s ready. Reasons would be you said something I don’t like, he’d stop talking to me for days.
Son and mother came in from the US late Dec for Christmas. He became distant, I asked him to confess if they were back together and he said yes. This was my biggest fear and I felt stupid for ignoring myself. He wanted to see us both. I cried, we fought and eventually I realised I couldn’t be anyone’s mistress so I left him. 2 days later I found out I was pregnant. He asked for a paternity test, accused me of trapping him, said I got pregnant on purpose because my other relationships didn’t work out and decided to pick him because he was a good dad. Said he fell in love with me because he was depressed, that I was a mistake and I’m trying to ruin his life. I was going to abort because I didn’t want to break up their family. Last minute I changed my mind, all my friends said I’d be ruined with depression if I aborted especially because I was doing it for him.
I’m 6.5 months pregnant, been in hospital with fibroid degeneration, my pregnancy is high risk, never wanted to be a single mother, I’m heartbroken, he wants nothing to do with me. He rubs his baby’s mother in my face on social media. On Mother’s Day I didn’t get a text but he posted a pic of her calling her his one and only. He is cold whenever I reach out. I sent him updates twice, either ignored scan pic or sent a one word answer. I got so upset that I sent a long message saying he should never contact us again because my child will not have contact with someone that doesn’t want her. Then I blocked him. A month later I was so emotional and I embarrassingly reached out to him and said I was sorry for the outburst and asked to start again. He ignored me. Friends and family say who cares about him? Move on and forget him. Yes that’s true. But it hurts SO bad. I’m not myself, I’m no longer happy, I had to quit work due to constant appointments and the high risk pregnancy. I feel like he doesn’t want the child because it came out of me. He’s hiding it from his circle too. It’s like he’s embarrassed of us. I also found out his baby’s mother is pregnant too and due any moment. I’m due in 3 months.
She has him for all antenatal appointments. He’s never been to see me, even while I was in hospital in severe pain on morphine. He doesn’t contact me. He sent £3000 for baby items and up keep that I had to ask for 4 times and had many arguments before I got it. I can’t even bring myself to ever ask for monthly payments when my baby is here because I HATE ASKING MEN for money. That was my first time ever! It was my friends that said I should ask because he makes a lot of money. I’ve beeb dumped, embarrassed, rejected. I don’t know how to go on. I think I should do this on my own. I will never forget the things he said to me and I don’t want my daughter around a man that doesn’t want her. How do I go on? I’m in so much pain. Baby’s mother also sent messages to me on Instagram calling me a home wrecker and that her man wants me to terminate and that I will pay for my actions. I don’t know how to go on...