To ask for a bit of a hand hold, hope I don’t sound too pathetic!

[Helendee]

My youngest son and his lovely fiancée are getting married at 6pm GMT in St Lucia today, just the two of them.
I am thrilled beyond belief for them but am feeling very bereft and a little disassociated today.
Just wanted a little moan really. I love my new DIL and wish her and my beautiful boy the longest and happiest of marriages.

I can imagine how bittersweet that must feel. Will you have a chance to celebrate with them in the future?

Aah, that's so lovely for them but must be really hard for you to miss it. You sound like you're doing a great job keeping your feelings in check, but make sure you have someone to vent to. Can you treat yourself to a nice dinner and glass of wine?

Are you planning to celebrate with them when they get back?

No they don’t seem to want to!

DH and I took them out for a meal last week but they don’t want to do anything with the wider family for some reason.
Thank you for your kind words.

You sound like a great Mum! Absolutely no way would my husband have got away with that with his needy mother so admire how supportive you are being even though it must be sad for you. Think about all the exciting memories they will make that you can be a part of.

Thank you Newbie x

It is bitter sweet for you I well understand. I am sure you are happy for them, but there must be a great feeling of disappointment that they have not chosen to share it with you. There are some things we have to accept and it sounds like you are doing a great job of keeping your feeling's to yourself. Sending hugs III) (III

Oh it will seem a bit strange not to be there with them Helen.

Are you and your DH going to have a bottle of champagne & some nibbles at the appropriate time?
Hope they share some photos with you, they will make you feel better.

I can't imagine not seeing my DD getting married.
But if it's what she wants then I will have to live with it.
My DSis did this and she deeply regretted it afterwards.
She really wanted us there and wanted her dad to walk her down the isle.
But.... her DP was an abusive prick who was trying to isolate her.
I'm sure they will be very happy OP.
Have a glass of bubbly for them later.

Hope you're OK OP.

So many of these lately, SIL not invited to weddings, many many children not invited to weddings, now a mum not invited to a wedding.

I don't get it. Surely a wedding is a family event, that you celebrate with family.

Sod St Lucia (I assume they've gone there for the wedding, not living there). It should be about people, not about dream locations, dream venues, all that crap.

I think I'd feel a bit sad too
It's a big mile stone in their lives
You sound like you are going to be a very understanding MIL

I wish them a long and happy marriage!

We got married abroad, just the two of us, and didn’t tell anyone until afterwards and we didn’t have any kind of celebration when we came home. We didn’t want any fuss and a wedding over here with family and friends would have been my worst nightmare.
We just wanted to be married, and 20 years later neither of us have any regrets about how we spent our wedding day.

But a wedding isn't necessarily a "family event", is it? Some people genuinely just want to tie the knot as quietly and as fuss-free as possible. And shouldn't be berated for it. You don't get married to please or suit other people and the wedding you want should be just that.