I'm currently pregnant with my second child and really since we found out about the pregnancy (planned and wanted by both of us) my marriage has been falling apart. We have been arguing more and more with us both saying things we don't mean and speaking inappropriately to each other, there is definitely fault on both sides and I feel like we bring out the worst in each other.
The pregnancy has been difficult and for the first trimester I had bad sickness and nausea which meant I was not able to do much around the house. I think my husband (who has always struggled to be sympathetic / look after me if I'm ill etc) found this difficult. I really feel like the relationship does not have a future as don't think I will ever be able to get over the things he has said to me and way he has treated me, especially while I am pregnant and feeling so ill, but I am terrified to separate and be in my own especially through pregnancy, birth, the newborn period. Just don't think I would cope with 2 children on my own.
A couple of weeks ago we had a bad argument as we were about to drive to my parents, I was in the car and he was stood next to it, it culminated in him hitting my car hard enough to leave a significant dent in it. Our 2 year old was in the car too at the time. I hate that he has been exposed to this.
Following this dh was very tearful and apologetic, said he thinks he is depressed and has an anger management problem and said he would get help. He has self referred for taking therapies since this.
His appointment was today, he said he was nervous about it and didn't want me overhearing it. I offered to go out at that time so he wouldn't be overheard. I was slightly late going out which was due to my mum ringing about funeral arrangements for my grandparent who died at the weekend (I've also been upset and emotional about this which he obviously knows). I hadn't left the house about 5 minutes before the appointment was due to start and was rushing round getting ready. I know I should have left earlier. He totally snapped and started swearing at me, calling me a cunt, saying it was my fault that he had an anger problem and that I had caused it through the way I behave, why couldn't I have left earlier as here he was trying to get help and I was sabotaging it etc. It was awful the way he spoke to me and I feel afraid when he snaps like this, his voice and manner totally change. For some reason this felt worse than the other times I think due to the bereavement.
I left and he rang half an hour later all apologetic and saying he is trying to change but I just don't know if I even want to try anymore as cannot forgive him for how he has been. I feel so trapped though and like I can't leave due to the pregnancy. Regardless of how he is with me he is a good dad to our son. Also financially don't see how we could afford to run 2 households. What do I do and is there any way back from this or to improve things? He says he does want things to change and wants us to try counselling but I don't know if there is any point and logistically don't know if we could do it anyway due to lack of childcare.