PE teacher and dyspraxic DD

[doodlesnoodles]

DD is in year 8, she was diagnosed with dyspraxia not long before leaving primary school but her primary was very understanding even before her diagnosis. She struggled with PE but was kindly encouraged to have a go. This has been very different since starting secondary, especially year 8. Her PE teacher has taken a strong disliking to her, she's aware of DD's dyspraxia but seems to treat it as just an excuse. She's quite quiet about it but has explained her teacher that she finds PE difficult especially tennis and netball which seems to be all they all. Her teacher told her in response a list of all the sports she does and how she teaches PE 5 days a week and DD only has to do 2 hours a week. She sits out of a lot of lessons, I give her a note if she's really worrying about it and this really annoys the teacher and often tells DD off for it. Yet she also has a go at her when she does something "wrong" when she does participate. She seems to particularly pick on DD despite there being other students who also don't join in. When I met this teacher during parents evening she wasn't understanding at all when I explained that DD worries about going to PE lessons, I can certainly see why she doesn't going

Would you write your daughter a note to get out of English if she were dyslexic and worrying about the classes? Of course you wouldn't, you'd be up at the school finding out what was being done to include your daughter.

I think you need to go to the school and have a conversation with either the PE teacher or the head of year and find out what's going on. Writing her notes while only getting one side of the story isn't helping, and you're just reinforcing the idea that it's okay to opt out of things you find difficult.

I understand that but PE isn't nearly as essentially as an English lesson. I don't write her a note every lesson but some days she gets so worked up and anxious about it, it's better having her at school and missing one lesson than not going at all

essential not essentially

In my experience and most other people's who were 'bad' at sports, the only thing PE classes like that will do, will be to put your DD off exercise for life.

I wouldn't worry about her sitting it out, as long as she does some form of exercise she enjoys.

I think you need to have a conversation with the teacher. She should be encouraging your dd for making an effort, not critiquing form or skill. She needs to meet each kid where they are.

I also have a kid with anxiety and trouble keeping up in pe. I make a point to tell her I don’t care if she keeps up with the other kids. If they are running and she needs to walk, then she should walk. If anyone gives her flack about that, I want her to direct them to me. Of course, she is too nervous to stand up for herself, (so she runs when she shouldn’t and ends up needing emergency breathing treatments) but I consistently give her the message anyway. Being active at her own level is the goal. She is never going to win a race or score the most points, but that doesn’t matter.

My dyspraxic one found secondary PE hard too. She wouldn’t have been allowed to sit out or not take part though. The more physical activity the better to rewire the dyspraxia and support better coordination. Children get moaned at for all sorts. They have to learn to brush it off and can’t do that if we placate every wobble.

I would organise to see the SENCO.

This isn’t as simple as the teacher finding different things to do, your DD will need to be specifically taught skills in order to help her improve her co-ordination. It isn’t just about stamina or tiredness, it’s about motor planning and organisation and often children have high levels of anxiety and are quick to become emotional.

Team games are usually difficult for children with Dyspraxia. This teacher appears to be failing to take account of your DD’s diagnosed difficulties and I agree that you need to know what is going on from the school’s perspective. I think the SENCO needs to know about what your daughter has said so that they can investigate and let you know what has been put in place.

Some dyslexia children get a note saying they are not to be asked to read aloud in class so it's not unheard of to get them excused from stuff. They also get excused for bad spelling.
So l think it's fine to expect your dd to be excused of its something that requires a measure of dexterity that she cant manage.
I would be raging over the teacher picking on her when she does join in. The next time that happens..so you have a specific example..go in all guns blazing immediately afterwards as that's bullying of a vulnerable student and not acceptable.
That would be like mocking a dyslexic student in front of a whole class.
As, obviously that teacher was very good at sport she has no understanding of dyspraxia and she needs to rectify that. ( I am a teacher and shocked she would mock her)

I have Dyspraxia as does my DS, have you taken in some information about dyspraxia and what it is ect? I find most people especialy teachers have little to no idea about dyspraxia and how it impacts a person. Most people have a stereotype of a clumsy child when as we know it is way more than that.

I would book an appointmen to speak to the teacher and go armed with printouts that explain what dyspraxia is. I would also show them a copy of her diagnosis letter to reinforce what you are telling them.

It is very difficult, I would go to the school or let her sit out. Find an exercise she will enjoy to do after school.
My DD has dcd she has horrendous hand eye coordinate, she is 0.5 centile for fine and gross motor skills, she can't judge speed or distance, it effects her confidence so much, she always tries her best but has had head injuries, broken toes, arm, wrist, just trying to be like her peers.
Stand up for your DD, DCD is shit, especially in a group of teens, I hated been a clumsy teen, now I love fitness on my terms.

The more physical activity the better to rewire the dyspraxia and support better coordination. Children get moaned at for all sorts. They have to learn to brush it off and can’t do that if we placate every wobble.

Look, team sports are the thing where kids have to perform publicly in front of others and get jeered at and hated on for letting their side down. It's just not fair to force kids who are rubbish at sport to do them, and all it does is put kids off exercise.

They need to have team sport PLUS some alternative for kids who aren't confident or physically capable of being good at sport but who will benefit from doing some exercise at their own pace.

Children get moaned at for all sorts. They have to learn to brush it off and can’t do that if we placate every wobble.

I loathe this attitude. If a kid who had a diagnosed LD, or even was just not very bright was jeered at by the teacher or the rest of the class for being thick everyone would (rightly) be up in arms. It should be no different for physical education. And in this case the teacher isn't bloody teaching (which happens too often with PE teachers IME), they're just bollokcing OP's daughter for not being good at their subject, rather than helping her get better at it.

It's weird how little actual "teaching" goes on in a lot of PE lessons. Like, I remember them at school, and almost no time at all was spent on actually TEACHING us how to do things. The teachers basically just relied on the fact that the sporty kids were being helped by parents and coached by private clubs outside school. Unsporty kids were just ignored or yelled at. It was like an unpleasant form of babysitting rather than a lesson.

Oh my. As an adult who was once a dyspraxic child, please try to find some sort of help for your kid so this doesn't keep happening, and some kind of other physical activity your child genuinely enjoys. I lead a very sedentary life because I formed very bad habits early on and thought it was simply never enjoyable to do anything physical.

When everything physical is made a competition with others, it's really very hard as a child who will never, never be a gifted athlete. We've long since gone away from the era of making children take their academic subject exams orally in front of the classroom where everyone could see who the failures were. But in PE, it's all right there for everyone to see.

Smart kids with difficulties in PE see that all the things they're good at are things they're supposed to shut up about or they're bragging and being unkind to others, but all their failings are on display in front of their peers, who are allowed to boast of athletic prowess in a way smart, unathletic kids would be chastised for boasting about their classes.

It is not a very nice pattern to observe as a child, and leads to troubling, incorrect assessments of the world around you.

My dd also has a disability, we also had issues with the pe teacher.

Unfortunately it wasn't until

I took a picture of an injury, with much swelling and bruising, caused by the pe teacher pushing dd too far

insisted on a meeting with head and pe teacher during which I showed them both the results of the pe teachers deliberately ignoring not only my communications (and I'd met with pe teacher and explained the condition etc already on a few occasions) but even a letter from dds consultant!

Told them if it happened again I'd be making an official complaint and that I was seriously considering legal action (and I had made an appointment with an appropriate agency which I showed them the letter confirming) on the basis they were failing in their duty of care and discriminating against a disabled child.

That the silly cow reined it in!

I've seen several threads by other parents who've had similar experiences too.

WHY they think they know better than the medical experts I really don't know!

It's disablist, bullying bollocks to be honest.

"Children get moaned at for all sorts. They have to learn to brush it off and can’t do that if we placate every wobble." Oh ffs! What victim blaming, prejudicial nonsense!!

WombofOnesOwn, well said! I was also a dyspraxic child and now a dyspraxic adult. I second the suggestions of pp to meet with the SENCO.

Our PE teacher is really good. He does actually teach. He teaches each skill required in a different sport separately and then puts them all together. There should be more like him and I imagine an approach like that would help OP'S DD. It certainly would have helped me!

You can’t rewire dyspraxia. It’s a condition for life and can be accompanied by pain. In our case it is, due to hypermobility too. Our consultant informed us of the above.

My dd has had similar run ins from the PE department who have her report. This year she has been yelled st for letting the team down. Apparently the PE teacher calls a spade a spade and has 30 other children in the class( I only want the shouting and detentions for not trying hard enough to stop, no special treatment).Its an outstanding school

You definitely need to find out the other side of this

In my ds they stream sports. It has actually helped him immensely as he felt so rubbish in y7. He is basically in the bottom 1/3 of the boys as there is a top set boys, top set girls and a mixed group. He's in the mixed group. I was sceptical at first. Yet another subject streamed! But it's done his confidence a world of good. In y7 he got a C for behaviour/ effort which was the ONLY subject he got a C in. I had a word with him, but also spoke to school to find out why. I emphasised with school that I want him to enjoy sport and to be able to keep fit, not to be put off sport for life. School need to buck up on this, as does your dd.

I think the teacher is probably fed up of her attitude rather than her ability. I would work on her changing her attitude. Obv the teacher also needs to change her attitude, but that's not your responsibility. Your dd is your responsibility and so is any future fitness/ health. I would get together with p.e teacher, but also encourage your dd to participate, maybe in different ways eg. scoring etc. and find something to do outside school eg. swimming, jogging etc.

Sorry op can’t offer any advice. I think PE departments are often a law unto themselves and enabled to fall short of the expectations as regards SEN kids.

PE teachers couldn't do a better job putting people off sport and exercise than if they were actively trying to do so in most cases.

You can't rewire dyspraxia, but as with anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Whether that is shoelaces, or hitting a ball with a bat. It's still much harder than it would be others, but easier than if you never do it. Sport/ fitness is so essential to general health (I say this as someone who does no sport due to bad experiences at school plus a lack of parental encouragement, and I'm suffering in my 40s).

And PE teachers wonder why they have a bad rep.

I’d go in and have a chat OP. If nothing else tell the teacher that you won’t put up with the public humiliation of your daughter.

No the more you do it the better it will not get. The lack of balance, co ordination and floppy joints and pain will not go away but exercise is important. We were told trampolining swimming, hiking were all good things to do so we push the latter 2. Circuits and netball not so much. My other dc choose their sports in year 10 and can choose walking etc. Crossing everything that we’ll get the same.

Our SENs don’t involve public humiliation. Our PE teacher seems to be given carte Blanche to bully as much as she likes. My dd said she was screaming at the whole class and other staff walked past laughing, dep head shrugs it off and not accommodating recorded SENs as calling a spade a spade. There would be uproar in any other lesson.