Who is being unreasonable about neighbourly noise?

[succulentleaf]

So we live in a block of flats, a period conversion. There are two flats per floor. The diving wall between our flat and the flat next door is literally awful and wafer thin, as it's a 1970s one. We get along well with our neighbours.

DP works long hours and got back from the office today at 10pm so we were sat in our sitting room chatting in normal voices. Our neighbours bedroom is the other side of the wall, and their bed is adjacent to the sofa we sit on. (Obvs I've been in their flat to know this!)

I got a text from neighbour at 10:30pm could we keep it down please.

Whilst I understand, neither of them are up early for work. We were talking in absolutely normal voices, and neither of us have voices that carry. If it was after 11pm I would understand.

Hmm this is a difficult one as I can see both sides. It isn't nice to not be able to sleep for hearing the neighbours chatting but then you have every right to talk in normal voices at that hour in your own living room
I have no suggestions unless you can come to some sort of compromise and they shift their bed to the other side of their bedroom and maybe you have a move around and put your sofa on the adjacent wall

I had a tv on a party wall and neighbours would bang on it every time I had it on. If I had stayed longer I would have looked into some kind of soundproofing. Maybe you should consider that.

Why is 11pm an acceptable time to be quiet but 10.30 isn’t? YABU, a lot of people go to bed before 11. Seriously though, if the wall is that bad you need to do some soundproofing.

Knowing the wall is paper thin, could you have chatted in the bedroom? I understand you should be able to use any room in your home but you know the predicament, I would try and accommodate them so vice versa

I’d think I wouldn’t want to be the person depriving my neighbours of sleep and move to the kitchen/bedroom to chat, or lower my tone considerably.

Night hours are 11pm to 7am. Obviously on the edges of these times don't take the piss.

As it happens we are moving in a few months anyways.

Whilst I understand, neither of them are up early for work makes you sound like a dick.

Is there a cavity? You could buy some expanding foam, drill some holes and squirt it in - you will need to do several, and repair the holes, but it does work to muffle sound.