To be disappointed in hearing that many UK woman drink during pregnancy [shock]

[Leati]

Yesterday, I was on a thread when some of the women started questioning about US policy on drinking alcohol during pregnancies. One of the women had heard that if you have a glass of wine, you could be arrested. I assured her that wasn't true but there was chance that if you were visibly pregnant that the restaurant or bar might exercise their right to refuse service. And if a pediatrician became suspicious of drug or alcohol abuse, they could have the baby?s blood tested at birth. If the baby is found to have these in their blood, the child will be taken away. Another woman pitched that she found it disturbing that restaurants had signs warning pregnant women.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. These women seemed to believe it was actually okay to drink during their pregnancies. Hadn't they heard of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. So today, I did a little research and was shocked to learn that it is a big problem in the UK and that there is little education about it there.

Women who are angry over mothers choosing the bottle over nursing are damaging their children by drinking alcohol. This is not minor damage, in some case it is equivalent to severe mental retardation and in others it less obvious cognitive problems. Overall nearly 10% of babies born in the UK are suffering from some sort of cognitive problems directly related to alcohol exposure in the womb.

What broke my heart the most is that I have been on this site and I know that the mothers on this site care so much for their children. That while I may not always agree with everything said and our perspectives are not always the same, that we share a common love for our children. So I felt compelled to start this thread and share the information. I hope that you will share it, with your loved ones and it may spread.

I have attached some sites so you can research this yourself. These sites are both from the UK and the US.

www.fasaware.co.uk/

www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/west/series2/fetal_alcohol_syndro mfaspregnancydrinkinglearning_difficulties.shtml

www.healthychildrenproject.org/glossa ry/

I would imagine that the percentage of women/girls who drink while pg here are also aware, and they perhaps don't care. Doesn't mean that the whole country is ignorant.

and if warning them sicne school has still left 10% drinking maybe you could give them their own choice about it and the figure would be the same without taking away a womans choice to make her own decisions!

oh i can't type anymore!

BM - We could go on indeed! [GRIN]

Leati for you say you are 'bothered' by our attitude. Well I am bothered that someone from another country deems it their 'mission' to tell me what is right or wrong with the UK. The US have far bigger issues. Should we even start on the US views on global warming? Or gun crime?

Let me say this Leati - whether we drink in pregnancy or not will be a moot point if the US doesnt start to look at its policy towards pollution and global warming.
There is plenty that bothers me about the US, but I would never dream of going onto a US chatroom and do what you are doing.

Leati - hundreds of years ago, the greatest scientific minds in the world thought that the earth was flat. It's clearly not. Do you think, for just one teeny tiny moment, that, perhaps, the current greatest scientific minds of the world might not be right about everything? Do you think that they might simply be covering their arses because they don't know?

Think Leati already has a gun thread Dal.

But I suspect the next one she starts might now be about global warming.

Well Leati - I feel as though you have been failed by the legislation and guidance in your country. Alcohol consumption is less however DIU's are one of the highest. What about childhood obesity? What are your legislators and medical experts doing to tackle the underlying social issues leading to people drink driving and climbing rates of obesity (amongst both adults and children?)

ah but no need to educate us stupid brits about global warming......no need for your soapbox Leati if you start that one!

Ah, a reasoned response. Thank you.

The point is parenting is full of choices and we all pick and choose to do what we believe is right. Sometime there is compromise. But, one thing that is generally accepted as a bit out of line, is barging onto this forum ordering people around with a "my way or the highway" approach.

If you want to stir things up round here, you might want to try these topics:

WOHM/D vs SAHM/D
bottle vs. breast

dal21

You see, everyone here has taken this as an insult and it was never meant to be that. I was trying to share what I considered to be valuable knowledge. And if you came to an American website and talked about Global Warming most Americans would listen. Some would probably agree, while others wouldn't.

Leati
As the mother of a boy with profound special needs the term "mental retardation" whilst technically acurate is a pretty hard to hear.
But please don't worry about it. you have no apparent intention to listen to, or consider annyone elses viewpoint so I wouldn't want to be picked out for special treatment.

I don't want this thread to descend into an anti-American rant as it serves no purpose. I also don't see that attacking someone's grammar and spelling (however bad) is going to make Leati listen to us. What I'm concerned about is that Leati feels personally attacked somehow when, from what I've seen, most posters have been very reasonable and tempered in their responses. I think the fact that many stood up for her against a personal attack from a fellow American proves that we are not out to get her.

The thing that upsets me most about this thread is that Leati is not listening to anyone. I am pretty sure (although I can't be bothered to go and trawl back through the thread) that barely anyone has claimed to drink everyday and certainly not to excess. Not a single person is arguing that women should be able to drink as much as they want during pregnancy.

She also seems to be resolutely ignoring the people who agree with her that drinking while pg is an uneccessary risk - and I know a huge number of mothers believe that.

PLEASE LISTEN. I think more people would agree with you if you would do us the courtesy of taking our points on board. I would be very surprised if there weren't women on here disagreeing with you who, in actual fact, wouldn't dream of drinking while pg in real life. It's the preaching that is prompting the response.

is it just me, or has Leati done every US mum on here s great diservice my coming over as the stereotypical American, when most we know are not. Please dont tar all Americans with this brush, we have some lovely ones on here.

Leati - yes, I have taken it as an insult.
If you cannot see that the way you have come across is inflammatory and insulting, then I am shocked. You have basically come on here and made sweeping judgements about pregnant women in the UK without taking into account what some of the posters have been trying to argue and offer back.

people drink driving and climbing rates of obesity are both issues taken seriously in our country. I fully acknowledge that both problems exist. Junk food has been taken out of schools, public campaign ads have been put on television, and doctors are taking a more agressive role in advising parents about obseity.

United States has adopted tough laws for drunk driving. One of the reasons the rate seems so high, is that anymore than one drink is considered to much to drive.

She hasn't come here to discuss she has come here to lecure and educate.

What she doesn't seem to understand is that patronising people isn't the way to sey about educating anyone.

She may also be rather surprised to know that many, many MN actually have the common sense to read the literature before they make an informed decission, and don't actually need her hectoring. It just insults.

MrsM - you talk sense

But I doubt it will be more than skim read by the person who needs to see it

Here here mrs malaprop!

mrsmalaprop

While most mothers did not make that claim a couple did state that they drank everday. I am certain that if you want to take the time you can find the posts.

...and some said they wouldn't touch a drop, but you are choosing to ignore that

Absoloutely MrsM - she simply isn't listening or discussing.
If anyone makes a reasonable point she just ignores them.

I think people said they had been advised they could have a small drink every day by MWs (but didn't have that much)
Or that their mums had drank half a stout every day, as was quite common then

Now I can definitely say that drink driving is not socially acceptable in the UK.

Maybe I move in sheltered circles but I don't know anyone who would have more than one drink if any when they're driving.

So that one's dealt with.

Thank you Leati for putting a stop to the googling - I feel we might be getting some of your own thoughts now rather than cutting and pasting

martianbishop

It is not your ability to make good decisions that I am questioning. I am questioning that quality of the information provided to you. If you read back, you will see post where women claim that thier midwives suggested they drink everday.