To think second go of IVF won’t destroy my marriage

[EasterBunnyTime]

DH and I have fertility problems. He has a very low sperm count and 2 years ago we had our much longed for child via IVF. I was lucky enough to conceive on the first cycle.

In the 5 years of trying to get pregnant naturally, there was a tremendous strain on our relationship with DH feeling angry and responsible for our situation. We got through it.

Now we’re looking to do IVF again for a second child. DH has said one cycle only as it’s expensive and we’re paying for it ourselves.

AIBU to think that, if we survived the first IVF and the difficult years of infertility before IVF that it won’t destroy my marriage this time? I’m wondering if it’s mad to risk it??

Have people had relationships break down during IVF for a second child?

We will do ivf for our second child soon. Like you, we had years of infertility followed by a successful ivf.

We are so much more relaxed about this cycle. We are looking at it as a bonus if it works and if not, we are beyond lucky to have our dc.

I look back on the terrible years of infertility where we lived our lives in 2 week blocks and the massive lump of unhappiness that was between us and it's like we aren't even the same couple. Everything is so much better now. I can't imagine that a failed ivf this time could ever bring us back there.

Thanks Praiseyou. Do you think you’ll try another cycle if you’re not successful or will you stop at one?

Are there any stats on success of a second attempt following a previous success? I can’t find anything online. I need to ask my doctor.

It took us 10 years of ttc and then eventually ivf (3rd attempt ) to get dc. After a year we began trying for dc2. We’ve had 3 goes of ivf, been pregnant 3 times and miscarried 3 times. It floored us and our relationship but we cling together rather than apart. I miscarried at 20 weeks and grieved very separately from dh and that nearly destroyed our marriage. So I’d say try again but hold on to each other and don’t put boundaries on yourselves.

Wow, that sounds immensely stressful TakeMe2Insanity. I’m so sorry.

We have decided that we will use all the embryos we get from this cycle so a fresh cycle and however many FETs we can do but if none of them are successful, we won't do another fresh cycle.

We don't want to spend excessive money and emotions on trying for a second child when we could be spending both on our dc that we actually have.

That's the plan on paper anyway. I hope I am still so logical during the cycle

We only had one viable embryo last time. How many is typical? I’m concerned that we won’t have any this time as we’re almost 3 years older.