Used gift from MIL

[Winenotindeed]

AIBU?! Just been made to look a right fool..!
In-laws came for a special family meal and bought a gift. Was a room spray from White Company. She's bought this fragrance before and don't use it as non of us like it.
So I went to the shop to ask for an exchange as it's too expensive not to use and they have done lovely scents. Only to be told at the checkout that they can't exchange because it's been used!! There was much less in it when she held it next to the full bottle.
So made up look like a t*$t in the shop AND she couldn't be bothered to buy me something new. (She can definitely afford a room spray, don't expect gifts etc)

YANBU OP

Why would anyone think it's OK to hand over some half used consumable and claim its a "gift". It isn't, it's the movement of tat they don't want any more

I also think it's perfectly acceptable to exchange something expe dive rather than waste it. My ex Boss would buy me plain chocolates from a expensive chocolate shop and no matter how many hints I dropped or straight 'I don't like plain chocolate only milk' he inisited on doing. I would take it unopened back to the shop and swap it for milk.

I think it depends on your relationship with MIL. Do you want to let her know what happened 'You could say, we arent keen on the scent and I grid to swap it for bath oil/drawer liners etc., and they said it had been used'. Just thought I'd let you know so you can check with where you bought. I know it's expensive and don't want them ripping you off.

If you think she would take a huff then it makes it difficult.

It's amazing how many details some posters will pick up on rather than address the main point of the thread. Is it some kind of weird 'look at clever me skirting the issue' thing?

YANBU OP. Giving someone a gift for a special occasion of something you've already used and try to pass it off as new is rude, mean and tight arsed.

I'd be tempted to tell her you tried to swap it for a different fragrance but they'd told you it was used. Be all concerned that she'd been sold a dud .....

Well, my MIL once gave me a gift that another family member ran over with their car. Apparently, said family member was pulling into the drive for a visit, she dropped the gift carrying it to the house and he partially ran it over with his car. It still arrived for my birthday, all mangled though! It’s also a similar item, that I hate the smell of, but seem to receive every birthday and Christmas.

I take them to the charity shops now. I would do the same with yours. Someone will hopefully appreciate it.

Give it her back in a few months.

We had a bottle of soap and glory bubble bath that we passed
grandma-DIL-me-DM-grandma. You should have seen her face when she got it back :)

Not unreasonable.

I suspect if the first response had been 'how awful, go non-contact with your MiL' (or somesuch....) then the following responses would have echoed that.
Mumsnet does resemble a herd of sheep sometimes.....

Repay the favour by gifting her a lovely box of chocolates. Minus one or two of the best ones.

Give it back to her for her birthday...but spray it a bit so there’s a little less than when she gave it to you.

I'd do this . . . .

I would shelve it for now. Tell your partner, and se what he says. Get your revenge down the line when the opportunity arises. You haven't been made to look a fool though.

Genuinely can't get worked up about nonsense like this. Unless there's a massive back story, I can't see what the fuss is about. Give it to charity if you don't like it.

@Singlenotsingle

"How did you know which shop it was bought from?"
The products from The White Company state the company name on the label.

I don't want to see you on this site in a few months wondering what to get your il's for xmas!!

i would be inclined to contact MIL and say that your DH sneezes a lot when you use this particular scent so does she have the receipt to hand so you can exchange it for the X one instead? Or you can give it to her to exchange for you if thats easier and she doesnt have the receipt (bank statement should suffice).

Sell it on eBay or re-gift it to someone who will like it (back to MIL ).

It doesn’t seem spiteful or anything so not worth the fuss you are making

It's a room spray. Nobody died. Perhaps someone gave it to her and she's passing it on. Don't lose sleep about it.

I don't want to see you on this site in a few months wondering what to get your il's for xmas!!

I think that the fact it was a gift for a special occasion (your birthday?) does make a difference and YANBU for being a bit miffed that it was something used she was passing on.

If it had just been a case of "Oh I don't care for this but Winenotindeed might like it so I will take it round when we go on Sunday" then I think you would just expect to shrug it off. But the fact that this is an occasion when she is expected to give you a gift but has avoided spending money on you by passing on something she doesn't like is very stingy of her.

Gosh, I'm simply posting a semi light hearted thread as most on AIBU are!

Not 'making a fuss' or 'losing sleep' in any way!Just asking a "supportive" community their view.

Was a bit pissed off, and as many have said, not unreasonably so!

Does MIL not like you OP?

@NoSauce who knows?

What were you going to exchange it for?

Who on Earth gives a 'room spray' to ANYONE as a present FFS.
How bloody rude.
It's like saying your house stinks.

I'm poor, so often seek out lovely charity shop things to give as presents. I'm very open about these items being second hand. However I wouldn't dream of giving something I'd used beforehand.

It's very rude to give someone a present that you've already used. And you say your MIL could easily afford a new thing, so I'd read it as a pretty unfriendly action. Unkind.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 I was going to exchange for another room spray of a different fragrance