I hate Playgroup

[Mumofone1593]

Playgroup 1- I have been going for about 10 months but have no friends really, I talk to people where I can but they seem to congregate in groups and I don't fit anywhere.

Last Monday they said I looked tired, I said I had slept on the floor in my son's room as the 'no cry sleep method' told us never to take him out his room at night but he wouldn't sleep without us. A woman said that she found it horrible and she would cosleep as long as she could and would be very upset when her children didn't want her bed.

I was asked if I breastfeed as my son was pulling at my top and said no I stopped at 13 months. A woman said that she didn't breastfeed as it 'didnt work for her' but she can't believe I would stop at 13 months, my poor son?!?

So I start a new Playgroup today- 3 mums from my other playgroup are there, I smile and get nothing, not even a hello or 'oh you go to Monday playgroup', maybe I should have engaged first but I didn't.

I carry my son to sit by a woman I recognise at a craft table and she said she would move to make space for me... Every mum left the craft table... My son was the only kid at it so don't know why he was so big they all had to move?

I sat for snacks and a woman's child fell off the chair as her foot was stuck under the table, I caught her and put her back and kept her entertained. Mum came over and said that her children wouldn't behave like my son (get down from the snack table like my son was doing) as they go nursery?! Sorry I can't afford nursery and therefore my child's Mowgli from the jungle book! Also are you blind? Your kid is the exact same as mine!

Therefore from my limited experience I hate all playgroups, the end, bring on 4 so I can drown my sorrows that I have no mum friends and never will while my husband cares for the baby

@LittleAndOften this would be the best place and I would get a train/bus to get there! I work evenings and I swear it's the only thing that keeps me going some days! Mostly young lads at my work as all the older ones work days BUT I love it! It's full on word vomit when I am telling these 18 year olds about my day of poo and tantrums!! I met my husband in my Uni town and stayed, so all my uni friends left and there's only a few people I know left!

@IAmNOTBent I am on mush but not very successful, there's never many meet ups. Ironically a woman in a online support group told me to go to today's group as it's so welcoming!

Hate playgroups. I go to two a week but it's purely for my son as he really enjoys himself. Bitchy, cliquey, vile places !! I always talk to the nans as they are much friendlier!

When my DS was a toddler, I tried out 2 different groups in my local area. It was more a need for me to get out of the house for a while than anything else. Nobody really spoke to me either and it was also cliquey. They weren't mean to me, but just ignored me, even though I would smile and often try to start a conversation. Also, the larger group would usually announce that they needed more helpers with the tea every week and I felt like they weren't impressed when I didn't offer. I gave up trying and just focused on DS having fun. Was an eye opener.

Also I agree with ppl who say that it could be because you look different OP, that they are mean to you.

@Mumofone1593 haha I would take a bloody plane!

the one i went was just where all the village childminders took their kids they were looking after and would chat amongst themselves! didn`t watch them.

1 day ds (he was about 1 ) was happily playing when I nicely told a charging about pre schooler not to just take ds toy off him. well the looks i got!! they asked for an online review. I gave one. they shouldnt have asked for one.....

@formerbabe we need a mumsnet playgroup! We can discuss the days popular threads and let our kids run free with no judgement!

I will keep going and just let my son have fun, might take a magazine and just zone out while he feeds me fake food from the toy kitchen!

I used to feel this way too op, until I thought, do I actually want to be friends with anybody who wouldn't make the effort with me! Some groups are like that, I enjoy it much more now that I just go and spend time with ds!

@golddustwomen I only get a good conversation out of nans and men!

Ironically one woman who ignores me goes to a local friendship making group my friend runs! When I found out she went I made a real effort as thought she must be shy but she just didn't like me!

It makes me sad that people find playgroups awful :( When my children were tiny I started my own group at my church. I made it how I would like a playgroup to be and actively went out of my way to run it so that people would feel welcome and WANT to come. I ran it for 8 years and it's still going 12 years later. We even won awards.

A group can feel very different if even ONE person talks to you - you could try being that person to someone else, and change the group's atmosphere yourself? I am an introvert, but pushed outside my comfort zone to talk to everybody.

I got more conversation getting a bus into town and having a cuppa in a cafe/ costa! I went to the playgroup because I thought it was the done thing and I wanted to make friends in the village. I had a better time elsewhere.

Just keep trying new ones ever day until you find a few different groups that suit you. I did this, even going slightly out of my area, and made great friends - I found I could tell within about 20 minutes whether I was going to hit it off with the people attending that group.

Different groups attract TOTALLY different crowds, it's just a matter of finding what suits you.

That's such a shame. I always chat to new mums or mums sat on their own, because I don't want anyone to feel like you did.

Sorry you are having a tough time at the playgroups, the women who go there don't sound friendly at all. You mention it's in a village - have all these women grown up together and know each other already, and are not excluding you, but rather not including you? Not that that is any kind of an excuse, but rather is that why they all seem so cliquey? If you child loves playing there though, I suggest you just take a book or kindle and use the time to catch up on some reading.

I've been to so many in the last 7 years and there was only 1 I stuck to and enjoyed. Even then it was because it was quite a large one and I could sit on the side and drink my coffee in peace. They all suck really.

I always tried to go with one other mum. I was lucky that one mum lived one door down and we started going to groups together. Anyone you can try to pair up with?

I feel for you OP, I doubt is has anything to do with you being a moany weirdo ? We moved to a new area when my youngest was 18 months, so I decided to try the local toddler group to meet other local mums. I'm not confident so it took some courage to go, but other than the woman who took my money and told me where I could make a cup of tea, nobody spoke to me, even when I tried to engage with them. It crushed my confidence and I didn't go back until a few weeks later when I forced myself to as I was feeling so lonely and isolated. There was a woman there who hadn't been there my first time who said "Hello, you're new" and we spent the whole time chatting. 21 years later we're still firm friends and so are our daughters. I actually went on to run that group and made sure it was the most welcoming/warm place for any newbies.

@Mumofone1593 I honestly feel your pain. I live in a large village and one morning even said good morning to a mum a couple of doors up as she was loading her children into the car. She was at the group I was on my way to when I got there but she ignored me and didn't even attempt to smile or make eye contact. I never went back. I have tried various other groups in the area and they are all the same (ignorant bitches!) and the women won't even make small talk with you. I now drive 5 miles to the nearest town where the mums are much nicer!

I'm in for a MN playgroup! 😁😁😁😁 you lot sound lovely, and I'd happily sit and have a brew with you all while our DC's play happily together!

I hated them so stopped attending. Went to baby sensory and rhyme time class instead because the parents were, shall we say, more polite? .

Find some other classes to attend, don’t let the catty women deter you!

I went to one for a short spell but only because a family member was running it. I didn't even like that one, there was no way I was trying any more.