to be really annoyed by my SD deciding to visit when I'm having a party?

[babypowder]

SD2 (now 15) hasn't been to visit for several months now (she used to come every 2 weeks, but understandably would prefer to spend her weekends with friends) Ihave an annual, adult, party, and SD2 has decided that that is the perfect weekend to visit. And DH thinks its marvellous. All I can see is me having to toe the line all night, not being able to relax with my friends for fear that I upset her (she's very sensitive, what with being a teenager and all), and having to worry about whether she's feeling neglected. I can assure you that DH will completely ignore her and carry on perfectly normally.

I think she should be able to visit her family whenever she wants.

She's probably coming because you're having a party.

Have a great time and leave her to it.

Smurfgirl, you are so right. I know I'm being selfish, but it is only 1 day in the entire year. I shall forthwith put my family first.

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whatever happens. Hope you have a great party.

LOL Motherfunk! I do only mean adult in the drinking, staying up late, generally letting-our-hair-down middle-aged kind of way!

Gives me ideas for next year's party, though ...

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Yes, YABU, but luckily you can come on here, sound off and then go and pretend that you really wanted her to visit that weekend. I can understand you feeling grumpy, and knowing teenagers she prob planned it on purpose. Only good point is, if she comes this year the embaressment (sp) of seeing her dad on the dancefloor will stop any attempts to come to next years!

I agree with smurfgirl that she should be able to visit family and her dad whenever she wants but can totally understand why you are p*ssed off. Given that she hasn't been for months its annoying that she chooses now when its inconvenient.

I would tell your dh that if she wants to come this weekend then thats fine but he is responsible for her (she is his dd to be fair) as you want to be able to relax and catch up with your friends.

Hi Babypowder. I also have 2 SDs (17 and 15) Have NEVER been able to stand SD 1 as she is selfish and bloody hard work. Sd2 and SS both fine- mostly. Before DS1 and DS2 arrived I would HATE is when the steps came over every other weekend as they expected three different meals at each mealtime.... (Oh God ..and loads of other crappy stuff I won't go into as this isn't a rant about me..) Since my two came along and I was a Mum too I was more able to empathise with DH's love for them and thought how much it would hurt me if my two were hated by some other woman. I just now grin and bear it - even when SD1 crashes yet another car and expects DH to buy another one etc...etc...(not that we do!!) SD1 also tends to turn up only on occasions when I SPECIALLY don't want her there. Over the years I have learned that it is far the best thing to put on a convincingly brave face for your DH's sake and also the sake of my own two kids as this is their big sister and they LOVE her. Also I think how would I feel if some guy didn't want my sons around.

However ... I TOTALLY Sympathise with you! I don't think you are at all unreasonable to FEEL like that. It's how you handle it that counts!

god i misread annual then

ROFL at annual

babypowder don't be tight
let her come

unless it IS an anal party

Don't worry, everyone! I'm completely over the selfish phase, and have now entered the beatific step mother stage. FGS I've been doing this for 13 years, it should be second nature to me now.

I certainly don't hate any of my step children - far from it, they have enriched my life no end, as well as showing me that I am much stronger than I thought . Its more a timing issue, and the fact that I am always primary carer. Ho hum.

Might as well cancel the sitter, though. My DDs would be furious if their adored SD was allowed to the party and they weren't!