To have a wedding now after being married for 10 years?

[Weddingaddict]

So I’m 31 with three DCs, married for nearly 10 years. We had an Islamic ceremony where we said ‘I do’, then went to a restaurant with our families and a few friends, and that was that really. And as the years has gone by, it has always bothered me that I’ve never had a “proper” wedding. And seeing most of my friends getting made me feel even worse to be honest. DH knows that I feel like this, but doesn’t know that I’m actually thinking about having a wedding now. I know that people get married at all different stages in their lives, but it’s kind of unheard of in the Muslim community that a couple have the wedding 10 years and 3 kids later😂. Most couples delay it for a few months or even a year. What would people think? But then again I’m like, this is my life and the thought of being 90 years old on my deathbed and knowing I’ve never had a wedding and worn that ‘white dress’ makes me so sad.

We’ve grown and been through so much in the last 10 years, and I love him more now than before, so this would be like ‘renewing’ our vows. Anyone been in a similar situation?

Are you legally married if you have only had the Islamic ceremony? Can you just have a big 10 year anniversary?

Are you legally married?

Go for it OP! Why not? You only live once. Celebrate your lives, your DC and make whatever vows you want.

My friend is doing this. I think it's a beautiful thing to do and I am excited and honoured to be part of it. Why not. Go for it and have a wonderful day! Congratulations.

Can you renew your vows in a ceremony, as part of your 10th anniversary celebrations and then have a big reception afterwards?

Why not have a huge 10th wedding anniversary party? Don't get married again - it rather cheapens your first ceremony and you'll find some people assume you are renewing vows after one of you cheated....

You did have a wedding. You are married.

Yes we are legally married, we're married in the eyes of the law. Just never had that big celebration, never had that 'wedding experience ', never gone dress shopping or had a hen do which is what saddens me.

My mates had a fairly big wedding at a hotel. Weekend after next they are having a church blessing on their 10th anniversary plus the usual party afterwards.
I can’t wait and I’m having to travel to attend it.

I think if you never had the big do, your friends and family will love to celebrate it with you.

You can shop for a dress and have a celebration but you can’t have a wedding if you’re already married. Can’t have a hen night either really.
Just throw a party to celebrate ten years together or something.

You think? I don't thi l people are goi g to want the faff of a wedding when you're already married and have been for 10 years. That ship has sailed. Can you gave an anniversary party instead?

why dont you have an anniversary party?

Did you have a registry office wedding as well as the Islamic wedding?

www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/20/women-uk-islamic-wedding-legal-rights-civil-ceremony-marriage

You said in the OP that you had an Islamic ceremony and then went to a restaurant and "that was that really". You later say that you're legally married. If you didn't have a legal ceremony I'd worry about getting that sorted before worrying about dresses and parties.

It’s your life, you should do what you want to do.

Do it OP! It doesn't matter what other people think! I know people who have done it 'properly' years later when they had the money or needed to do it incase grandma popped her clogs.

Go for it!

Have a big anniversary party, buy a fantastic dress, celebrate your marriage. Avoid doing anything which will incur significant costs for your friends and family, though, and make sure nobody feels obliged to get you a gift. Ten years married is great, but I think you have to rack up a few more decades before it's really a milestone.

The wedding thing is done, unfortunately. I do get what you mean, because I also had a fairly low-key wedding nearly ten years ago, and I sometimes regret not having the typical wedding aspects like bridesmaids or a white dress. But there's no do-over option unless you also want a new husband.

Weddings are so expensive though, if you're already married do you want to spend a lot of money on a wedding? Makes no sense!

Do it!!! Imguessing you mean some sort of big ceremony with people and celebrations rather than a wedding wedding? You can renew your vows and include your kids, sounds FAB!!!

What keepingthewormsquiet said.

Do you have a legal marriage as well as a religious one? if not, you need to do this NOW, or you and your children have no protection in law.

Honestly, genuinely, if you are legally married what’s the point? The tradition of big fat Muslim weddings is new and inspired by Bollywood / Hindu weddings. Back when I was a child, as a Hindu, Hindu weddings were boring 4-6 hour events while all the Muslim weddings I went to were often home affairs where we got to play and eat great food and mess around while the bride and group nipped off to the registry office.

you can't have a wedding if you're already legally married LOL! Tell that to all the vow renewal people!

Of course you can have a wedding OP! Go for it. If you've got the money spare then why not? It sounds lovely.

You're right, I could have a big anniversary party instead of an actual wedding. Does that mean I won't be able to wear a white dress?

I know someone who had a wedding/vow renewal at 1,5 and 10 years with a new white dress for each. If that’s what you want go for it 😀

But surely you can wear what you like at your own party? Plus if you say it’s a wedding it will be more expensive, just say it’s an anniversary party, wear the amazing dress etc.

Have a wedding.

I went to a ex-neighbours "wedding" when her youngest was 5. The children loved it as well as the couple. They talked about it forever.

The couple were originally married in a registry office so it was actually a blessing but the pastor made it into a wedding.