In the past few weeks, MIL has phoned DH almost in tears because -
- SIL has to prepare her own baby's meals and her PIL don't always help her with it (she lives with her PIL and husband as per their country's tradition)
- SIL had to carry her baby around the house (I'm NOT joking) - MIL says SIL is too weak to pick up her baby having recently given birth (9 months ago) and thinks her PIL should do it
- SIL has to carry her baby while walking up the stairs (her house has about ten stairs in it and bedrooms are upstairs). She thinks SIL shouldn't have to carry baby at all, let alone when walking up stairs which is just outrageous
- SIL sometimes has to bath and dress her baby without help
- when SIL takes baby to visit husband's other family, they don't take baby from her and insist on taking care of him
- SIL had a suspected mild UTI - this isn't really connected to anything else but MIL phoned especially to tell us this while almost in tears which I think is a good example of ridiculous the SIL updates are getting - did we really need to know?
- SIL is a small girl but obviously hasn't lost all her baby weight yet - no problem, baby isn't even 1 yet and her weight is nobody's business anyway. But MIL is convinced that the weight shows that she is weak and frail and should spend most of her time in bed, basically being waited on, and not having to look after her baby/cook/clean or do anything she doesn't consider fun. She keeps phoning us saying things like 'But she looks swollen! She must be sick!' she doesn't at all, she just looks like any other healthy woman who has put on a bit of weight after childbirth.
- SIL is occasionally asked by her PIL to help prepare family meals (the whole family eats together)
- SIL is occasionally asked by her PIL to help with cleaning the house
Background - SIL is young and totally healthy. She has recently had a baby, baby is around 9 months old. She lived with PIL until about 2 years ago when she got married. When SIL lived with my PIL she was waited on hand and foot. SIL has plenty of energy when it comes to socialising with her friends, going shopping, going out to restaurants, beach days etc, but when it comes to helping around the house or caring for her baby she just feels very angry as she thinks it's boring and doesn't want to. So as not to drip feed,
- She definitely isn't depressed - we are very close and she's actually really, really happy. Just says she feels she is too young to do boring jobs (she's 25).
- Her DH has a job which means he isn't around much (very long days - leaves at 5 gets back around midnight).
- Every other week SIL stays at her parents house where she literally doesn't lift a finger to the point where her mum sleeps in a room with the baby, does all night and day feeds, washes/dresses/plays with the baby. If baby cries and SIL is around she will often call to her mum to get him without even looking up from the TV. I say this to show you that she isn't even 'hard done by' with her PIL all the time - just every other week!
I'm gonna be honest. I'm just getting irritated! DH and I live in another country to them and have 2 kids and another on the way. We work really bloody hard. We have no help from anyone and sometimes struggle with childcare and money etc but we get by and we are happy.
It's just recently really starting to wind me up these constant phone calls JUST to moan about SILs 'problems'. I feel like it's a bit of a kick in the teeth to me as I'm pregnant, feeling like shit, and still working really long days and looking after my kids and I don't have ANYONE to cook for me or clean for me (I mean DH and I juggle it between us but like most people, we are awfully tired an awful lot!) Please just imagine for one minute - really bad morning sickness. Mouth tastes disgusting no matter what I do which puts me in a foul mood (anyone else get this during pregnancy?). Get up early, puked a lot, DH up early, walks dogs, off to work. Fed/cleaned/dressed kids, took to kindergartens/school. Straight to work. Long day, come home, DH already got kids and made dinner, we eat, I clean up, have to do about another hour of laundry, cleaning because as usual we are behind. Between these things puking and wanting to crawl into bed.
Okay so all of this is normal, and not a big deal but then imagine this. After putting kids to bed and sitting down to prepare some work for tomorrow, DH gets a phone call, one of many recently, and this time MIL is crying because SIL had to carry the baby in the house today. Like from one room to another. And she just can't believe it. Or because she had to help chop some vegetables. Do you know what I mean?
I could scream! No 'How are you', it's like this is the whole point of the call. DH tried to tell her she's being ridiculous and mentioned that I'm pregnant and feeling awful and still do everything without ANY help or ANY in-laws around to do most of the work. But this is always brushed over and the next call is more complaints.
AIB an U hormone monster or would you start to get pissed off with this too? I know I could just hide from the calls but it's got to the point where the complaints are so ridiculous that in actually curious to hear them (despite knowing they'll make me furious, which is my own fault I know).