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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Job referral disaster

38 replies

Sophia9 · 07/05/2019 04:18

Long time lurker but haven’t posted before! A friend has applied for a role in my company and I provided him with help and prep before his interviews. They are at the final interview stages and my manager has now asked why I didn’t apply for the role (better than my current role). I’m at a loss as to whether I would be very very unreasonable to even consider applying knowing that my good friend is waiting to hear back about whether he will receive an offer.

I didn’t consider applying as I didn’t think I was eligible due to the commitments in my current role. Had I known I was eligible I would have definitely applied and told my friend I was applying. The role is what I’m looking for in terms of career development and I love the company so am worried about passing up the opportunity for this permanent role when I’m on a contract at the moment.

On the other hand, he is a good friend of mine and I would feel very guilty and a bit of a backstabbed if I apply now having helped him prepare for interviews and told him how great the role is and the company.

AIBU to consider applying for this? I have to let my manager know in a few hours and there’s no guarantee I’d definitely get the job as there may be other internal candidates who have also been asked to apply today.

OP posts:

cheekaa · 07/05/2019 04:45

I would apply and tell my friend that your boss suggested you apply.

Happynow001 · 07/05/2019 05:09

Yes I'd apply now you know you are eligible.

I'm not sure I'd tell your friend unless you get the job though. Either way he's likely to be upset but you do need to look to your own future.

Homebird8 · 07/05/2019 05:23

If your company is shoulder tapping people internally to apply it may be that your friend has proved to not be what they are looking for. If I were you I would apply and tell your friend if they offer you an interview.

Honeybee85 · 07/05/2019 05:27

I would definetly apply if I were you.
You didnt give up your right to go for the same job when you helped a friend out!

It’s not a given that he will even get the job.

pissedonatrain · 07/05/2019 05:28

Of course you should apply. You don't have to tell your friend anything. Your career is none of his business.

A bit of advice for roles you're interested in the future. Never make assumptions about if you're eligible or not. Always always ask. If you see a promotion you're interested in, always make them aware you're interested as many times, they won't know unless you tell them.

HennyPennyHorror · 07/05/2019 05:29

Of course you must apply. Any good friend would agree.

Tell him your boss has "Put you forward" for the role. Let him know that you hadn't thought you'd be able to apply but your boss has said that's not the case.

BrokenWing · 07/05/2019 06:09

Apply for the role, if you get it tell him you were asked by your boss to apply after he interviewed as there were no suitable candidates (because surely that is what your boss is actually saying to you by asking you to apply after he has spent time interviewing))

Lovestonap · 07/05/2019 06:13

Apply. If you get it, unless your friend already works for the company they don't need to know you've had a promotion?

whyohwhyowhydididoit · 07/05/2019 06:17

I agree you need to do it. Let your friend know that your boss has put you up for it and go for it.

Margot33 · 07/05/2019 06:24

Yes apply. Once a job opened up, i helped a collegue apply and did so myself. I told her I was applying. I got it and there were no hard feelings.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 07/05/2019 06:31

It doesn’t sound to me as though he is what they are looking for and they would prefer an internal applicant instead.you should go for it.

Mummadeeze · 07/05/2019 06:38

Definitely apply. Sounds like you want the opportunity and as others have said, he may not get it anyway. It is an awkward situation but I always think in career progression situations you have to put yourself first. Good luck.

Ferii · 07/05/2019 06:41

Apply and stop being a wet blanket about it. You qualify, it's what you're looking for and you like the company - its completely reasonable for you to apply. Your friend should be grateful to have had help, its not as though you sabotaged his interview. It doesn't have to be a big issue. The fact your boss asked you to apply implies they're not thrilled with the candidates they've interviewed so far. Apply and good luck

AJPTaylor · 07/05/2019 06:47

If it's not too late apply.
If your boss thought your friend was brilliant he/She wouldn't be asking you to apply.

JenniferJareau · 07/05/2019 06:49

Di you encourage his to apply or send him the vacancy or did they apply anyway and just ask for your help?

CareBear50 · 07/05/2019 06:50

I'd definitely apply but I'd also be upfront with your friend as you havent done anything wrong. May the best person succeed!

panelledreverie · 07/05/2019 06:59

I tend to think it means your friend isn’t what they’re looking for if they’re trying to improve the candidate pool. Yes, apply, and tell your friend you’ve just been approached. They may be annoyed as disappointed but hopefully they’ll calm about it.

SammySamSam09 · 07/05/2019 07:04

Personally I would apply now you know you are eligible.
You did a nice thing in helping your friend though but obviously you would be better suited to the job.

swingofthings · 07/05/2019 07:04

I'm confused! There are in the final stage of interviewing and your boss has asked you why you haven't applied for the job? Did he actually say they would start the process again and that you should apply this time? Because otherwise, couldn't they have asked just out of curiosity rather than with intentions?

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 07/05/2019 07:07

Apply and say you were approached/asked to.

They clearly don’t want to give them the job.

Kisskiss · 07/05/2019 07:11

Apply for it and let your mate know if you get an interview.
If I were your friend I wouldn’t be upset if you told me. I would understand it is a better role for you as is permanent v contract and you had given me lots of help with my interviews for it as well

HBStowe · 07/05/2019 07:15

Apply, but give your friend a heads up. Explain what you have here, that you would have applied if you had known you were eligible and only just found out you actually are.

Your friend might be a bit miffed, but if they are a good friend they will hopefully understand - but you have to be up front I think.

Crossfitgirl · 07/05/2019 07:18

If you're on a contract and this is a permanent role, and you love the job and company - then you absolutely have to do what's best for you and apply. Your friend, if they are a good friend, will understand if you just be honest and tell them the truth. If you would have applied in the first place if you'd known you could, then there's no reason not to now.

If your friend didn't get the job and you did... Would you have to tell them? Would they ever know that you got it? You could ask that if you were successful that your employer does not tell other candidates. If they don't work for the company then how would they ever know?

Couple of options anyway!

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 07/05/2019 07:26

Just tell your friend you have been asked to apply. A true friend will understand.

User199999999o9o999 · 07/05/2019 08:23

Apply and tell your friend your boss has approached you about putting you forward. it does sound like they aren't keen anyway.

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