To ask what it’s really like to live rurally?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Currently holidaying in the Lake District and as usual wishing I could up sticks from London and move to somewhere beautiful and with real community. But having grown up on the edge of London I’m so used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes, 24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away, lots of jobs, lots of schools, I know I really have no idea what it would be like to live in the countryside. I’m definitely in a nice, more affluent part of the countryside right now and there will be areas far more rural than this, so trying to think broadly, I know not everywhere will be the same.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities. Where I am now I’d guess a lot of farmers and a lot in hospitality, but that can’t be all. What’s the transport like? Does it matter? How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

A broad question I know but there’s such a range of places that will all be different, but would love the real story instead of just the ‘holiday’ view of the country.

Disclaimer: I’m aware as a born and bred Londoner my concept of what is rural might be really wrong, and that I also very likely have some rose tinted views of the countryside. I’m not trying to offend, so please be kind, I’m genuinely trying to learn!

I grew up rural. Idyllic childhood, crap teenage years. You really have to consider your children. There was nothing at all to do - the things people got up to to pass time shocks me now - drugs, violence, booze, crime, underage sex. I remember walking through the pitch black graveyard - no street lights - on my own to get to a deserted bus stop just to see some life in the nearest town. The last bus came at 8pm and it was my life line. It wasn't just kids who were bored. My mum told me she stopped socialising in the village when we were little kids because so many people were into wife swapping. I escaped to London and never went back.

Moved to a small village in the forest. Public transport is limited within the village but excellent from the nearest town 6 miles away. I commute 45 minutes to a city for work. Coming from a London overspill town I have no regrets moving to the country although I miss the ease of getting into London. What used to be a 40 minute train ride is now a 3 hour car trek, but a pleasant one through the Cotswolds.

I grew up semi rurally. Right on the outskirts of a small city with nothing but hills and fields behind us but still within walking distance of shops and good public transport links into the centre. Still wouldn’t like to live there now though - public transport has been cut back and the shops are nowhere near what they were - and there is a motorway behind the house.

Very hard to adapt to the inconvenience when you’re used to big cities. I live in an area that is stunningly beautiful. It’s idlyllic for a weekend away but Christ it’s a boring, inconvenient shithole. I’m dying to get out and back to civilization - Don’t do it OP!

Probably outing myself here but am semi rural not remote - I live in a small town which was declared the best high street a couple of years ago.

I was snowed in last year and couldn't get to work - our chief exec pleaded with farmers etc with 4x4's to bring staff into work which they did - fresh bread and veg wasn't available but those farmers meant nurses, doctors etc could get to work

Questions to those who live really rurally:

Do you not mentally stress/panic about what happens if you are seriously unwell (a dr home visit as in too much pain to move) or need an urgent ambulance? Or your elderly relatives do?

What do you do about buying fresh produce? (if it's several hours drive to buy a tomato or a peach) Or do you grow your own?

If you live alone or happen to be alone (family away), how do you cope with the stress of a man breaking in to your home while you are alone and too far to get help? (no one will hear you scream)

Asking as I've always wanted to live rurallly but these things have always stopped me. My biggest fear is that if you are criminally minded it's pretty obvious that a great target is somewhere remote.

Google Hannah Hauxwell Too Long a Winter. My father was brought up in the same area. That's rural.

Noughtpercent APR
If someone gets seriously injured/ill they send the air ambulance. On average we see it about 4x a year here.

I do actually grow produce but there is no need to as Tesco delivers! I grow it because I love gardening, but I cant produce enough to live on. I have about 10 apple trees, 3 plum, 3 pear, 2 cherry, blackcurrants, strawberry bed, raspberries.
We are usually self sufficient in lettuce, courgettes, beans, peas, tomatoes and potatoes through the summer/autumn.

I dont worry about crime, we do have a 95year old next door neighbour and if she isnt scared I dont know why I would be! Besides, anyone trying to get into our house from the rear would have to cross a wooded ravine with a river at the bottom, lethal at night. Also the rifle range we built might put them off

Thanks @Serin

It's a fantasy for me but considering how gripped by crime fear I get by watching a scarey film alone in the depth of the city... I maybe am not cut out for rural living.

The idea that there is less drug use in rural areas is laughable. Ketamine originated as a drug used in farms to treat animals. Rural teenagers started to take it for a high long before drug dealers cottoned on to it in City areas.

You either work (usually) badly paid local jobs in retail. admin, local govt in the local town, which is usually a drive away, or farming or associated industry if it's in your area

You definitely need a car, probably 2 for a family. You're reliant on them and it changes your lifestyle, depending how rural you were. We grew up in the Dales, and then my parents moved even further out once we left for uni, great for them, but shit for us (imo)

Our social lives were shit until we could drive, as there was no bus service and it was a major pita arranging to see friends and we couldn't even stay for after school clubs as there was no transport home.

Other things to consider that might impact your quality of life - don't assume a rural 'idyll' is a great place to bring up kids. Usually there's nothing to do, and as per PP posts, which often leads to lots of under age drinking and recreational drug use. Many of the small market towns have quite a bad heroin / drug problem

Also, consider the mechanics. Do you rely on stuff like the internet and online shopping delivery now? Raising as broadband in lots of places is non existent, and in my parents place most shops wouldn't deliver as it was too far out. We also lived in a village with no mains water, mains sewage or gas. You adapt to it, but if you're used to all of that, you don't want to have the shock of being up to your knees in a septic tank

The questions about safety - in my parents village, they've used the air ambulance for urgent cases of medical care (nearest A&E is 40 mins away) they have a local volunteer fire brigade. You hope no-one breaks in, but its just good sense - lock everything like in the city. The plus side is a strangers' car stands out! And for the one about produce - if you're my parents, you buy two chest freezers and an extra fridge and stockpile 6 months of food at a time

I spent my teenage years living in a rural village 10 miles from a small town, 25 miles from a medium town. Hated it.

Pros:
Scenery
Low crime
Wildlife

Cons:
Slow internet
Rubbish public transport
No mobile signal
Dangerous country roads
Miles to shops
Even more miles to cinema/entertainment
Difficult to meet up with friends
Only one (bad) school
Frequent winter road closures
Few jobs
Fewer clubs/sports/extra-curricular opportunities
Everyone knows everyone's business
Suspicion of 'outsiders'

Hard to access 'culture' (concerts/ theatre/ galleries)
No takeaways
Prejudice more prevalent (racism/ homophobia/ sexism)
Nobody returns after escaping to uni

It suits some people, I am definitely not one of them!

I'm probably a little late to the thread, but for my contribution (I grew up in London, now live in rural Dorset)

-Shopping: rubbish, but I'm an online shopper anyway so it doesn't distress me overly
-Schools: only one secondary/high school. Fortunately it's very good, but would be a different matter if it wasn't!
-Public transport:
-Kids: only have the one and he's totally dependent on DH and I to get about. He gets a free school bus which relieves a huge burden, everything else is down to us. He turned 15 a couple of weeks ago and was thrilled, as a PP has already said, that it's only two years till he can take driving lessons.

I wouldn't change it for the world, but I do know that a lot of the youngsters locally have every intention of moving to uni and not coming back

I think rural life is great for young children, awful for most teenagers and young singles, fine for mid-life if it suits your personality, same for early retired, not good for the elderly.

Grew up in rural sussex and my DM still lives there so visit often.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities

They commute into towns like Lewes and Brighton. The villages empty out between 8-6; literally just retired people and SAHPs left.

What’s the transport like? Does it matter?

Bus 2-3 times a day, so everyone drives. DM walks into the nearest town (5 miles each way), but she is a very energetic pensioner with no time constraints.

How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart?

You drive them, and they learn as soon as they turn 17. Or cycle a lot.

Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

Depends on the community, my DM’s large village is full of commuters so yep, everyone is an incomer. Tiny village in Wales or Yorkshire or somewhere where everyone is related or intermarried, maybe not.

And you didn’t specifically ask this, but the nearest 24hr shop is the Tesco petrol station over ten miles away, so people are basically much more careful about not running out of stuff between shopping trips.

If you live alone or happen to be alone (family away), how do you cope with the stress of a man breaking in to your home while you are alone and too far to get help? (no one will hear you scream)

You have dogs, external lights and a rifle/shotgun (and know how to use it).

*Do you not mentally stress/panic about what happens if you are seriously unwell (a dr home visit as in too much pain to move) or need an urgent ambulance? Or your elderly relatives do?

What do you do about buying fresh produce? (if it's several hours drive to buy a tomato or a peach) Or do you grow your own?

If you live alone or happen to be alone (family away), how do you cope with the stress of a man breaking in to your home while you are alone and too far to get help? (no one will hear you scream)*

It depends on how rural you are talking. There are Drs fairly close by, never thought about home visits since not needed but they do have district nursing etc so am sure they have worked the logistics out.

Living an hour from OOH medical services can be a worry, also routine appointments are extremely inconvenient since they take place mainly at hospital 1 1/2 hours away.

Women give birth at hospital approx 1 1/2 hours away so yes, a worry there if you were pregnant.

Again depends on how far you really are from fresh food. Yes, a lot of people grown some of their own but otherwise you need to rely on frozen between shops.

How would you cope in town if you were broken into and couldn't get to a phone? Not everyone has neighbours who would hear everything.

Depends where you choose to live - the rural areas in the Midlands or South of England are very well connected. I've lived in several cities and in the Cotswolds countryside, and wish I'd lived in the Cotswolds years ago.
Weather is mild, so not like the extremes of The Lake District or the Scottish Borders (tried both) nor plagued by extremes of seasonal tourism - many people in the Cotswolds are permanent residents.
There is not regular bus routes for workers, but travel by car is easy as population is lighter and roads are clearer.
Moving from the city I thought I'd die of boredom, but found to my surprise villagers make their own entertainment - amateur dramatics, gardening clubs, theatre groups, pub based Christmas and New Year celebrations, walking groups and many more dinner parties. it's been a revelation.
The smaller the village the better - as long as you get one with a pub, church and shop (community hubs).

I grew up in a wealthy rural town. There was very little work so everyone commuted an hour or more to London & Birmingham. Maybe one bus an hour that couldn't be guaranteed to even turn up. House prices in a par with London. Supermarkets all within 30min drive: tho not open 24/7. And good schools with small class sizes. However crime wise the houses with no neighbours were targeted until they upped security & the local woods were dodgy after 5pm (flashing incidents & stuff).

I love it, there is absolutely no way I’d live in the city. I grew up in a VERY remote place, which had its own merits, but by the time I was a teenager it was hard only having a very limited bus service to enable my social life. I passed my driving test within weeks of turning 17, I couldn’t wait to have that freedom.

Since then I’ve lived in a mixture of very small rural towns, and places more out in the sticks. To be honest I prefer the small rural town as it’s the best of both worlds. Where I live now, I can walk to be in open countryside in literally 30 seconds, but if I walk 5 mins the other way I’m in the middle of town, which has an amazing community - some fab restaurants and pubs. It’s not so small that everyone knows everyone’s business, but small enough so that you do get to know a lot of people, and it’s very friendly. It’s safe for the dc to go roaming, they can see their friends when they want and walk to school, but we have amazing countryside right there without having to use the car. Tbh the job situation is limited, but there are 3 big cities on direct train lines and plenty of people do those commutes.

More remote places are also lovely but it’s a right pain in the arse when you get home and realise you’ve forgotten milk, and have to make another 30 min round trip to get some! And getting snowed in is no fun.

I agree, terrible broadband so I don’t bother with it. I live in the south. Ds goes to a primary school with an annual intake of 17, and mixed age classes. I work locally so my commute is 10 minutes down lanes with very little traffic. Lots of potholes. A Car is almost essential as little public transport.
My pay is half what I could earn in London doing the same job but with very little stress. No need to power dress.

The nearest town (5 miles) provides all the normal stuff, but there is less choice of entertainment. We have cinema, theatre, arts & jazz festivals, I just have to be more organised & book ahead. Taxis are like hens teeth. Drink very little as always need to drive.

My veggie patch is basically a salad bar for the deer, we have snakes in the garden too. Today there were cuckoos calling. My neighbours are very mixed - pennilesss to very wealthy - but all go to the same pub. Living in a small community means everyone knows everyone’s business. I was born here, lived in London for 10 years then came back so i knew what to expect.

Used to live in a fairly large village, 2 busses a day (7am out and 5pm in). Nearest town 3 miles away with a 8-10 Tesco's. No street lights, school bus to the local town for the kids. Nearest place to buy anything apart from Tesco's stuff is the city around an hour away, we go there roughly once every 2 months. Absolutely loved it, we knew 1/2 the village and there was always something happening.

Oh yeah forgot this, the mobile phone signal was rubbish (still is) there is no point messaging anyone as it may take 24hrs to get there so nearly all communication is made landline to landline and using voicemail on the landline - nothing else is reliable.

Moved rurally ten years ago and don't see myself moving away. The community spirit can be wonderful, as can shopkeepers knowing you by name, but there's some things I'd prefer my pharmacist not know!

My broadbands shite, and as a tech-monkey extremely frustrating but it's worth the shite speed, the constant drops and miles to the exchange.