To ask what it’s really like to live rurally?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Currently holidaying in the Lake District and as usual wishing I could up sticks from London and move to somewhere beautiful and with real community. But having grown up on the edge of London I’m so used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes, 24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away, lots of jobs, lots of schools, I know I really have no idea what it would be like to live in the countryside. I’m definitely in a nice, more affluent part of the countryside right now and there will be areas far more rural than this, so trying to think broadly, I know not everywhere will be the same.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities. Where I am now I’d guess a lot of farmers and a lot in hospitality, but that can’t be all. What’s the transport like? Does it matter? How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

A broad question I know but there’s such a range of places that will all be different, but would love the real story instead of just the ‘holiday’ view of the country.

Disclaimer: I’m aware as a born and bred Londoner my concept of what is rural might be really wrong, and that I also very likely have some rose tinted views of the countryside. I’m not trying to offend, so please be kind, I’m genuinely trying to learn!

As someone who lives in London, although there are many wonderful things I'd enjoy about rural living I don't think I would ever choose to live somewhere where I wouldn't see a brown face from one day to the next. Or where my children would attend schools that are 99.9% white homogenous.

I live in Dorset. Moved here 1 year ago. Don't underestimate the culture shock!
You do have to be able to drive everywhere. Everything is a car journey of at least 20 mins for petrol, supermarkets, cinema (40 mins away).
I live in a small town. with good facilities; chinese, fish and chip shop, a Co-op, a theatre, pharmacies etc. BUT I actually do live in the middle of nowhere.
I love the quiet, the views, the wildlife and Dorset is beautiful. But it is not enough for us and we plan on moving back.
The other consideration, especially with the current state of the NHS, is that it is not a good place to live as an elderly person

I love rurally, always have. I love it.

I love my kids being safe, I love being able to walk for hours without seeing another person, I love the wildlife, I love the slower pace of life, I love the community feeling...I love everything....except....no 24 hour shops, or actually any shops at all. Takeaway deliveries are almost non-existent, a car is a must and petrol can get very expensive, everyone knowing your business....

Oops, I meant LIVE, not LOVE!

I live in a village. We do have a small shop which means essentials are there. Nearest towns are 20/30 mins away.

Honestly? When I catch the train into London I honestly wonder how anyone could live there! All on top of each other. The noise. The traffic. You're used to what you're used to

I love the friendly village environment (although the fb page can be hilarious!), the privacy, quiet, great dog walks on your doorstep, open green space and space in general

Yes you have to drive everywhere. I can't imagine relying on public transport. My DH commute to work is around 40 mins.

IceRebel. Not claustrophobic at all. We’ve a series of eight small villages making one larger parish. Plenty going on but yes, we do know everyone. That has many real positives but a few negatives if you’re big into privacy. We do venture outside the village sometimes and lots of people work in London, Portsmouth, Chichester or Brighton for large organisations.

Why do children board? Just the norm for the majority. Local primary or prep. Often day secondary but boarding sixth form to prepare for university. Some board from year 9. The local primary is full of families that drive out to here for a rural education.

Our young children do go away for university. No Russell Groups here. They come back in holidays though. Many would love to settle here but can’t afford housing until they inherit. Some youngsters who don’t aspire to university do remain very happily working on farms, in pub, as school caretaker or other local jobs. We have a few younger families but the housing costs tend to make it prohibitive. Certainly we regularly have lots of children back for short or extended stays. Definitely no rush to move away.

I'd love to live in the village of Killearn in Stirlingshire. It's picturesque but still has pub/cafe/shop. 15 mins to Loch lomond. 30mins to Stirling. 45mins to Glasgow. Public transport not great though and I'm not sure my teens would thank me!

When my partner moved over to UK from the Netherlands he carried in his career in farming. He got a job in Herefordshire and I left Portsmouth to join him. Yes it is nice having the countryside on your doorstep but I found it very lonely. I have always lived in big towns or cities. I don't drive but this was never a problem in such places, I could easily walk or get the bus/train to anywhere. The nearest village to us when we lived on the farm was a good 15 minute drive away and about half an hour drive to nearest town. There was one bus on a Thursday that took you into the town.
I got a job at the local pub and that didn't make things much better to be honest. You are seen as an outsider and it's difficult to feel included. We ended up moving back to my hometown when I was pregnant with my daughter and I feel much happier here. My parents are nearby, there is a local park, local baby groups, shops nearby and great bus links to get into town. Yes living in the countryside is a nice dream but after living it I'm much more happier to keep it just for holidays.

Racism, low attainment, inward looking, rife incest (not surprised that Fred West came from an isolated, rural community), crap services, slow internet. Normal for Norfolk.

I find it very surprising how differently inclined people are! Plenty of comments on here that people prefer the city and can’t spend long in the country. I’m the polar opposite. A city is nice for a night or two but Jesus Christ am I relieved to leave at the end

I grew up in a very isolated village until I was 18. Went to uni in a rural location, travelled a lot, and am now choosing to raise my kids in a decent sized city. I will probably move back to the country eventually but I want my children to have the experiences that I didn't. I didn't have any racial, cultural or global awareness and knew nothing outside my village and small, incestuous local town. It's not safer in the countryside, far from it, and my kids still have a lot of family that live rurally so we can visit whenever we like. But I don't want them growing up there.

Disclaimer: I don't live in London and I wouldn't ever choose to live there. I do live in a big city though.

A little late to the thread but I live in the Lake District and the question what jobs do people do? is a common one but a bit odd because a lot of of the same jobs are needed in rural areas as urban ones.

A fair number of people I know do jobs associated with the landscape - farming, outdoor ed, tourism etc but probably more people do "normal" jobs - solicitor, accountant, social worker, teacher, health care professional, builder, school administrator. Some people work in the bigger towns around the edge of Cumbria but equally a lot of my colleagues commute into the Lakes because housing is cheaper outside the National Park.

I think the route to happiness is appreciating what you've got and so for me its breathtaking scenery, low crime rate, laid back people who don't care about the latest clothes or other unnecessary stuff, a pretty good range of independent shops, independent cinema, lots of outdoorsy people with a sense of adventure. For people in cities that might be big shops, better public transport, more culture.

Village life - everyone knows everyone elses business, sometimes they know your business before you do. Get used to it, it isn't rude its normal.

Drink driving - rife, ditto, horses parked outside pubs, also young farmers get delivered to pubs in tipper trailers pulled by tractors. Those who lose their car licences being caught drink driving will revert to horse or electric bicycle.

The pub is your social network. Everything is discussed there, particularly incomers who don't go in the pub (with much sucking of teeth and disapproval. Go to the pub.)

Entertainment: The pub. Folk music. Welly throwing. Tractor pulling. Steam rallies. Learn to like these things :)

Sheep and cattle: Go where they like, particularly the middle of roads, it is courteous to flash your lights at other drivers when you have passed livestock to remind them there is something in the road.

Dogs - they are everywhere, depending on which bit of the country these will vary in type, my area is predominantly a Spaniel County but the odd labrador appears. Hounds will appear in your garden, you are expected to hang on to them and if no one comes to fetch, open the car and they will leap in for their chauffered ride home (learn where the hunt kennels are!).
Dogs are invariably much more welcome in shops, pubs, cafes etc than children. It is also a given that dogs wee on things and bite people who meddle with them. Going 'ewww a dog' in a pub is a good way to get a frosty silence and metaphorical tumbleweeds blowing through the bar.

Children - either join the pony club or young farmers or both, decide now if you prefer cow/sheep/pig shit or horse shit, or young farmers meetings vs pony club rallies.

Everywhere you need to be will be a minimum of 45 minutes from where you are, and 'popping out' to see someone is liable to take you at least an hour to get there, plus two hours to visit, plus an hour home.

Personally I love it (except the racism, which i hate and is rife unfortunately), but it isn't for everyone!

Most people say hello even if they don’t know you. When you get of the bus you say thanks to the bus driver and he says Cherio, see you later or something similar. You don’t have to worry about getting mugged. You usually drive to work, maybe 10 to 20 miles each way. Winter is very dark, you need a hobby, summer is great. I have always managed to work, sometimes self employed, you mix with rich and poor people as the population is small, my best friends mother owned an estate, I am ordinary. Your social life is what you make it but definitely better than London. I lived there for 10 years. Everything is green, the trees are lovely in spring as are the lovely lambs with mint sauce.

Some people really think life stops outside the city (with an emphasis on London). It's just different. If it was horrendous, why would people live rurally.

I am on my 3rd rural home. Have also lived in cities (not London, not with a barge pole). First place was isolated, with power in the hands of landowners. Everything was expensive and shitty broadband. Limited number of people, difficult to meet like minded people. Most amazing wildlife but socially not for me.

Current location and previous one are amazing. Met lots of like minded people and great social life. Tends to revolve around pub and dinner parties, same as when we lived in the city.

Broadband is great, multiple streaming devices. 15 minutes to local town, 30 to outskirts of a city. 10 minutes to train station (can get to London in 2 hours if I want to).

Lots of choice of good under subscribed primary schools (compared to over shbscribed schools in the city). 2 outstanding secondaries within range. Plus grammar school.

Yes public transport is poor. But we can bike to town for a regular bus (3 miles) or about 9 miles on paths to the train. Kids have friends in the village (200 houses) or they bike or we plan.

Shopping is mainly on line, which is great as I don't enjoy clothes shopping. Food weekly, same as I did in the city. If I run out, I ask a neighbour.

Key differences to our city life are being more organised and having supplies (oil, logs, fuel, batteries, candles).

Love it. Every time I go to London for work, I remember why I don't want to live there.

It's our normal. I get irrationally excited when staying in a city as everything is just so close. Take away is delivered, large cinemas, theatres, huge shopping opportunities, buses and trains are easy to get. I find it all fine for 24 hours then I get city fatigue.

I love living surrounded by forest and fields. We are within reasonable driving distance of a good supermarket. We can't usually get take away delivered but it's healthier to cook at home.

I wake up to the birds and at twilight we watch the bats. I love living in the country it makes me feel alive and relaxed all at once.

I wouldn’t change it for the world, I’d never want my children to be raised in a huge city. Absolutely love living rurally, the more rural the better 😂

Where we live we are about 15 minutes to the nearest beach, about 30 seconds from fields and streams, we have a local shop which sells a range of things but you’re looking at 15/20 minute drive to a supermarket.

We have 2 buses a day here, one out, one in... so generally more than one vehicle is required. Jobs are few and far between and house prices are relatively high due to second homes and proximity to the coast. Classed as high poverty area due to a lot of unemployment, mostly for the above reasons.

Would a town be a better compromise? Probably have shops and pubs walking distance and also might have better transport links but probably surrounded by countryside and possible to live opposite a field?

I disagree that rural living is safer for children. In my village there was no end of teenage violence, bullying, coercion, vandalism. Solvent abuse started at a very young age as did alcohol and drug use. Sexual activity off the scale. All down to boredom and being in a closed off environment. But this was the Eighties, maybe kids watch Netflix now.

Mine all rode as young children and teens. Nothing like horses to keep them out of trouble until pony club camp

TimmyThyme- your views are ridiculous, and offensive.

I think the only issue I have with this thread is that people seem to be saying if you live rurally you’ll become a country bumpkin hermit thrown back to the 1900’s, unable to clothes shop, having to stock pile food in the freezer etc.

In the county where I live (v agricultural) there are plenty of rural villages that are only 15 mins from the nearest big town with nightlife, shops, banks, supermarkets etc and also LOTS of gorgeous, quaint little villages about 15-20 mins from the ‘cosmopolitan’ City. My friends and I have lived rurally our whole lives, but we are young and none of us live how a lot of people are describing here. Yes, driving is a bit of a must as it’s not Central London with tubes and buses running every 3 mins. However, I don’t think a 20 min drive into the city is really that abhorrent or troublesome?! Equally, again as I said in my other post, I live rurally but still go to our local city to meet up with friends for lunches, shopping. Go on nights out and just get a taxi back etc. I always have my hair and nails done, very into fashion and love my designer handbags and clothes (which I get from my nearest city! Some from my ASOS obsession ) There are different shades of rural though and personally I would ALWAYS want to be in a village, with one pub and one shop/ post office (maybe 2 pubs if the pubs were good) so that there is a sense of community and you can just walk 2 mins down the road to have a few drinks, or go to the shop for a pint of milk. Any place I move to would also have to be no more than a 25-30 min drive to our local city as I go there too frequently to want to be an hour away from it and if I was, I’d rarely be able to have a night out with friends etc as taxis would be extortionate. I would never move to a remote farmhouse where my nearest neighbour was 4 miles away and nearest towns/ cities an hour away. If you do that (after being used to city life) and isolate yourself so much, then no, I’m not surprised people don’t enjoy it. I’ve never lived anywhere other than rurally and I would hate that.

There is middle ground, it’s perfectly possible to be rural, surrounded by countryside yet not a million miles away from civilisation and I think this thread would paint a happier picture of rural living if it had more middle ground people on it .

I absolutely love visiting London for a ‘holiday’, I get ridiculously excited by the fact you can get a meal or a coffee at any time of day or night (in our small rural town the tea shops close at 4.30 ). I just spend my time wandering around admiring the sights, just like people come to where I live to go hiking and enjoy the scenery. I like to get up really early and buy a paper and have a coffee and people watch, can’t do that where I live!

I love rural life, but commute to London for work. X3 days on the train.

We are in Norfolk. As pp say

Mud, mud, mud... You need to be properly prepared for the mud and rain. With good wellies and a decent all weather coat.

You have drive and have two reliable cars realistically. We have four buses a day.

Our local shop is the social focus of village. Also everyone will know your business.

Shopping and nights out are in the nearest city 1 hours drive away.

Small market towns can buy your basics. The bigger market town has a small supermarket. For anything else you need to drive 15 miles, so a 30 mile round trip.

Oil fired heating. This can be expensive.

Slow broadband

The quietness, but I would not swap it for the world.

Like others, I live in a village about 10 minutes drive from the nearest town. I have an admin job in town but have had jobs before where it would take a couple hours drive to work, I'm sure that's normal anywhere though.

The village shop is also the post office and is the hub of social activity. The owner/postmaster knows everyone and everyone knows him and his wife. Tbh it's quite nice to have a friendly face just round the corner at the shop.

There's also a very small pub and the family who run the pub know everyone too. Drink driving is common, if you're known to the owners they can get you a parking spot round the back so that the police don't spot your car sitting out the front and look for you on the way home. People do leave houses outside in horse boxes and take a few and then drive home.

Everyone has a dog, usually a collie, and they often wander around the village. I have two bitches that I haven't had spayed yet and when they're in heat the dogs howl the village down really must get them booked in for a spray.

We have very little crime thankfully. Doors aren't generally locked, nobody has alarm systems. We do lock our doors at night but have gone to sleep with the keys in the door before. Usually our neighbour spots that for us and gives us a knock to let us know, and we do the same for them. Drugs aren't an issue either except that I've heard some young boys come to our pub from a neighbouring town as a pre drinking thing before their proper night out and there's suspicion that they might take drugs. But you certainly couldn't buy any in the pub and I've never seen evidence of drug taking.

It is very quiet, especially at night. And very dark in the evenings. It smells nice and you can hear lots of wildlife and birds chirping. We drink lots of tea and watch lots of TV. The local church visits at Christmas and brings a gift of shortbread or teacakes. There's a toddler group once a week in the church hall. We have a stove and often have a fire going to get the place warmed up.

You still get the shitty parts of life. The TV licence man still turns up, the postie still brings the bills. The electricity goes off if there's a storm - not good when you have a FF baby. Broadband is slow. Public transport is abysmal. I spent a lot of money on petrol. There isn't a lot (anything) to do in the evenings.

Love it - but I've always been a country girl, and I think that helped us integrate into a new village years ago now - when 'incomers' can be viewed with suspicion. Helps when you've got school age children too. We're now of the age when we've got to think about all those car journeys and what happens if we couldn't drive any longer. So we're moving cross country to another larger village - still in the country - but on a bus route, has a hairdresser, pub, post office, village shop, chippy and half an hour from our daughter, rather than the present hour and a half. I just hope we'll be as happy. One thing here, though, is the merging of farms into agri-businesses which has been a nightmare - huge vehicles thundering down country lanes, all hours of the day and night - very unsafe. It is becoming an increasing problem, some collisions on the road and many boundary walls damaged by these large vehicles. It has completely changed the character of our village, and people are becoming increasingly concerned how powerless we all are to do anything about it. Compromise is needed, we obviously value their contribution to the food-chain, but they take the mick - muckspreading over the Easter bank holiday and again this bank holiday. There's a head of steam building and it's going to get nasty at some point. So don't think it's some kind of rural idyll - it's not!!!