To let her open gifts at party?

[Gertruude]

Posting here for traffic really as I'm unsure as to whether this is an etiquette thing or just personal preference.

My DD is having a party for her 4th birthday soon. We've been to three of her friends party's this year & 2/3 took gifts & said thank you but didn't open them in front of guests, they took them home. Personally I found this strange as 1) it's nice for ppl to see their gifts opened/enjoyed 2) it feels cruel to make a child wait so long as they're so excited about opening them.

Am I missing an etiquette thing if I let my DD open her gifts at the party? Of course, we do a lot of prep on how to graciously receive a gift so she's polite & grateful when she opens them!

TiA

Always open at home. I'd find it a bit tasteless to do it in front of everyone.

And I hardly think it's cruel to make them wait until they get home!

Preferably at home. There ismt enough time at the venue to be able to appropriately gush over presents and play. You can stagger the opening, ensure things are actually looked at, and then send thank you a for the right gifts to the right people!

kids are so busy at their own party, they don't even have time to think about their gifts.

Generally there’s barely enough time at parties to fit in playing, food, clear up etc and especially when they are large class parties do 30 ish presents we take them home to open. We often have some family up visiting at birthdays so we sit with a cup of tea and leftover cake and they child opens their presents

Occasionally eg if it’s a smaller sleepover or something I’ve let them open thier presents with everyone here and once when I knew DS best friend was getting him the captain America costume and shield and it was a superhero party I let him open it straight away so he could put it on. But it was a close friend who had got it purposely for that purpost

Open later. The guests are too young to sit and watch another child get loads of gifts. It changes around age 8. Plus your dd will be distracted by the gifts rather than playing with her friends. They can also at that age say things like 'I've already got this'

If you do it afterwards, you need to follow up with a thank-you for each gift - saying "thank-you" for a parcel whose contents you don't know isn't quite enough.

Never seen gifts opened at a party. Other children don't want to watch or might get envious. Seems a bit self indulgent to me.

When I was a child parties were always at home with around 6-8 guests, present opening was always the exciting opening to the party with everyone oohing and aahing over the gifts. By the time my dc's were going to parties they had become bigger events, not at home and presents were not opened. I felt disappointed that things had changed and they lost that bit of excitment but went along with the way things were done. As you are having a small party at home I personally would open the presents as they are given.

We open at home. I haven't felt I could trust the dc not to say if they already had something, or it was something they hated! We open afterwards, I make a list of who gave what, and I text the parent to say thank you.

that's all very nice but there is bound to be at least one child who doesn't have very much at home and will feel sad as a result. it's just rubbing noses in the birthday childs' presents, plus its boring to watch, kids would rather be playing than sitting around watching the big reveal.

All the parties I've been to open the presents at home and send out thank you cards.

The parties I've been to where the kids open the presents there descend into chaos as all the kids all want to play with the toys or the birthday kid just spends all their time playing with the toys instead of enjoying the party. We always open them afterwards.

I’ve only seen presents opened at a venue party once and on opening one present the birthday girl declared “I’ve got one of those already”. It was bit cringe all round and the mum was a bit embarrassed.

At home parties my DCs have opened their presents when they receive them, especially so once they’re older.

I wouldn’t even with a party at home. BIL let DN open her presents during her 5th birthday party in their house with family and a few classmates. He then proceeded to start putting together toys in the middle of it all, then banning all the other kids from playing with them when they quite naturally wanted a look. He then complained bitterly about missing bits and pieces 🙄 DN missed out on playing with the other kids as she was too busy opening presents so the others just went outside and started without her.

I think it’s different when it’s a birthday tea with family - absolutely open the presents there and then. When it’s a party with friends/classmates its just awkward and kids rarely appreciate having to watch someone else opening presents!

I agree that they should be opened later to prevent any judgement. We left dd's until after her party (she was 4) and she didn't mind - she was having fun with her friends. It has been the same at all the birthday parties we have been to this year.

Definitely open at home.

Only ever seen presents opened at a party once. The kid ripped through them all in seconds and then just kind of threw them to one side without any sign of gratitude. They didn't bother with the cards either so the card dd had spent ages decorating just got scooped up with the wrapping paper into the bin. This was years ago and it still irritates me out of all proportion

Definitely wait until you get home so you can make a proper note of who brought what for thank you notes.

Also in your situation where there is family and friends there will be disparity between the amount spent on presents and the friends may not realise that a certain present is from an auntie and then be shocked/embarrassed etc by their gift.

Also the party is only a short time. Let that be fun party time. Tell party child if they are disappointed not to do it there and then that they will be able to extend the fun by opening gifts later.

(PS> I know I am probably going to be told that they don't need to do thank you notes but in our house we do!)

My understanding has always been that you take them home to open. Parties are normally 2 hours so it wastes the party time that could be enjoyed playing with friends. Sometimes 4 year old or generally young children aren’t that polite. For example ‘I’ve already got that’/ ‘I don’t like paw patrol’! Maybe they then want to actually open the toy. Also difficult to keep track of who has bought what and make a note for thank you cards. Definitely better to take time and enjoy them one by one at home.

Because no one wants to sit and watch a child that isn't there's opening god knows how many presents, it would be mind numbingly boring.

Theirs

No way do 10 20 30 other kids want to watch yours opening a load of presents.

Definitely do it afterwards.

No, no, no, no, no! Children will want to play with them, your own DD will want to play with them, there will be tears, tantrums and broken presents, and you'll get the cards separated from the gift and won't know who to thank for what present.

This is a fun thing to do AFTER the party, particularly if they have siblings. My two always had so much fun.