Bit of a back story. Parents divorced when I was young. DF had mental health problems and DM walked away. I lived with DM and my childhood was far from happy. DM had a string of boyfriends and fiancés and put them all before the welfare of her daughter. I was no doubt neglected and emotionally abused. Nan (maternal) is visiting after we’ve had no contact since I was 19. Last conversation I had with her I was told I was a disgrace for being unmarried whilst carrying my first born, she also condoned her daughters behaviour whilst I was growing up and told me I wasn’t her responsibility after recalling a phone call I’d made at the age of approx 9 when DM had left me home alone to go on a weekend away, begging her to help me because I was scared in the house by myself. There’s quite a back story but I spent quite a lot of time with these GPs during the summer where they’d degrade my father for being unwell and control and manipulate me and so on.....
so fast forward 12 years and my DM is now putting pressure on me to meet up with her during a visit using the excuse it may be the last time you see her. The thought of seeing her has thrown up a lot of memories I had kept buried for this time and my heads all the place. I’m really struggling. My DM just doesn’t understand how much damage my childhood has done between her and these GP’s. My DH has said to go and tell DN how I feel and look for answers or some kind of acknowledgement of the hurt and pain they’ve caused. But I don’t know what to do. WWYD?