Rule with an Iron fist

[gwyneira5]

I finally got free from a controlling abusive angry and insecure man after twenty five years of marriage. Am now with a lovely caring man who is totally opposite. The ex mantra was he should have ruled me better with an Iron Fist and kept a better control on me. I worked full time raised his children did all the house work, gardening etc and not allowed out with friends or colleagues. Fast forward today and my youngest son has sided with him. He had witnessed most of this growing up I should have left him years earlier and now blame myself to how these boys have turned out.. The ex had had relationships and has not changed his attitude to women so they have suffered the same
ol

Is your son a teen by any chance?

My teen currently would rather I rotted in hell than speak to me. It's tough, but they do come back to you with time (I keep telling myself).

no he is mid 30s, he always hid when is father kicking off I am happy he sees his dad but hard to accept that he loathes me at the moment

Oh, well that I can't help with.

I suppose, no more than anything, all you can do is be there for him if he ever needs you and keep contact light-hearted and chit-chatty for now.

What do you mean when you say he 'sided with' him? Was there an argument? Or is it just that he's now in contact with his Dad?

He probably doesn’t loathe you. More likely at some level he knows he can side with your ex and not lose you. Whereas if he sides with you he will lose your ex. He knows your love is more unconditional.

Just carry on being nice. You will win him round in the end.