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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 year olds FACETIMING each other?

23 replies

QueenOfTheEighthKingdom · 04/05/2019 19:43

Getting quite pissed off that DS is constantly being facetimed by his friends. Quite often I don't realise that he's on it and may shout at one of the other DC or even swearBlush. Obviously this can heard in the background.

AIBU to think this is an invasion of privacy and ban it?

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenOfTheEighthKingdom · 04/05/2019 19:46

Sorry meant to add - when the hell did this become an actual thing?!

OP posts:
TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 04/05/2019 19:47

An invasion of privacy? Eh?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/05/2019 19:47

Your house, your rules. What if he's only allowed to FaceTime in his room with the door closed? If you're comfortable with that, obviously.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/05/2019 19:47

Erm yeah. Maybe an 8 year old shouldn't have open access to a smart phone

Who knew? 🤷‍♀️

Mintychoc1 · 04/05/2019 19:48

Mum kids are 10 and 13, and this has been my life for the past couple of years. I just ignore it now. If their friends overhear something they shouldn’t, then so be it. I can’t live my life as if I had guests all the time!

Bambamber · 04/05/2019 19:49

Well don't give your 8 year old unsupervised access to a device that allows facetiming then?

Original poster
QueenOfTheEighthKingdom · 04/05/2019 19:55

DS has not got a phone (most of his friends have though). He has an ipad and uses that for it.

I was quite taken aback when a friend's mum asked for his icloud number so his friend could facetime him as if it was totally normal and I knew what she was on about. It's spiralled from there. They spend ages on it.

It's doing my head in. I don't want other people overhearing my family life as I can hear theirs!

Can't get over it even being a thing.

OP posts:
simonisnotme · 04/05/2019 19:57

well the answer is , take the bloody Ipad off him

Minniemousejammies · 04/05/2019 19:59

I cant get over an 8 year old having free reign on an iPad being a thing either.

Ullupullu · 04/05/2019 20:00

Are you serious? An 8 year old with unsupervised internet access?

Can't get over it even being a thing. No, it isn't for everyone, and it doesn't have to be in your house either. You are the grown up.

jemimafuddleduck · 04/05/2019 20:00

Parent your child and restrict access to the ipad!
Seriously, this is ridiculous.

PottyPotterer · 04/05/2019 20:04

My ds's friends heard me farting on the toilet the other day as his room is right next to it and he was on Xbox live. I might have to rethink the keeping his door open ruleHmm. Facetime still horrifies me though and I refuse to do it.

UnicornDust9 · 04/05/2019 20:05

My daughter is 7 and can FaceTime.

Doesn’t bother me.

SheSaidNoFuckThat · 04/05/2019 20:07

DCs always FaceTime their friends, youngest is 10. I don't have a problem with it

PotolBabu · 04/05/2019 20:08

Erm. Take the iPad away? Why does he have unrestricted access? Why did you give your iCloud details to someone else? This is so baffling as the mother of a 7 year old. They have zero need to FaceTime any body and even less need for unsupervised internet access.

WhoWants2Know · 04/05/2019 20:11

I think it's kind of sweet when my kids are drawing or writing stories with their friends via FaceTime, or helping each other with homework. It reminds me of when I got a phone extension in my room as a kid and would chat for ages or we would watch favourite tv shows together.

We have rules around when and in which rooms the kids can use it, but its never caused a problem.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 04/05/2019 20:12

Face time is no more intrusion then a call, unless he's walking around showing them the house, but just as he shouldn't have unlimited access to a phone he shouldn't have unlimited iPad access either. Say he can use it five until six (for example) and his friends can call then, after that it goes off and is put away. It's not rocket science.

Clare45BST · 04/05/2019 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snop · 04/05/2019 20:18

Mine have been doing it for years, yes you have to be careful when you are walking around getting dressed and not to say something you don't mind the other person hearing. It really irritates me but you have a choice you can log your child out of FaceTime on the iPad

Theonewiththecat · 04/05/2019 20:18

Dd is 9, her and her bff facetime every morning before school. It used to be really weird, but now I just shout 'good morning dd bff' and crack on with my morning.
They even facetime when one of them is on holiday. :)

Ellisandra · 04/05/2019 20:19

Meh - it’s lovely that they want to TALK to each other, and the FaceTime element of that is just technology advancing. It’s great. You want him to just stare at the iPad that you give him free access to, instead of interacting.

I’d say in my experience it’s not the norm. Some pairs of friends - yes, mainly ones who saw each other outside school a lot as parents were friends with each other too. But it’s not unheard of.

More of an issue that you don’t have good boundaries around iPad use.

And what are you doing that mustn’t be overheard?!!!

Rules for my youngest (10):

  • not allowed on smartphone (hers - shoot me!) unless she asks first, tells me why, and stays near me.
  • no calls outgoing without permission.
  • anything incoming - ask before answering, you can always call back.
Haggisfish · 04/05/2019 20:22

Meh. Dd8 does this ALL the time, too. It’s free and they enjoy it. I don’t swear around them anyway.

MiraculousMarinette · 04/05/2019 20:29

My 8 yo Skypes her friends regularly on her tablet and has been for the last 6 months or so. I don't swear around her anyway. They just sit chatting or play minecraft with a running commentary to each other. I am friends with the children's mums though. Maybe that makes a difference.

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