To not want fil to go into my bedroom

[furrybadger]

Aibu to not want my fil to go into my bedroom ? Myself and partner have a cat that hides when we have visitors as he is very shy, he likes to hide under the duvet, under the pillows.

Partners dad came round this evening and asked where the cat was and proceeded to walk upstairs and rummage around in our bedroom looking for the cat, it’s not the first time he’s done it and my partner can’t understand what the issue is and why I don’t want him in there.

Am I being precious ? Or would other people be annoyed at this ?

I'd be furious.
Private space

I would hate that. Very intrusive.

Lock the bloody door

That's not cool

No. No. No. NOPE.

My bedroom is private, end of. Only myself, my husband and our children allowed. Lots of people think that's ridiculous but let them. Why it offends them is beyond me. I caught my MIL snooping once and that didn't go over well at ALL. Not with my husband, either.

You need to have a big talk with your partner and he should respect your wishes regarding this issue. There is NO reason your FIL needs to be going in your bedroom and it makes you uncomfortable. However, I will say this rule should apply to your family members as well.

No. I would go upstairs and ask him to leave my bedroom. He isn’t a blood relative or your husband, he needs to understand he needs to be invited. Tell dh other men aren’t welcome in your bedroom and if he doesn’t sort it out you will.

Creepy fucker.

Totally over the line. Very intrusive.

I'd tell DP that you're going to hide a massive strap on dildo somewhere in the room for his dad to find next time. Bet he won't allow the snooping anymore.

I’d be very pissed off.

My FIL does this as well but nobody else seems to get why I find it intrusive and unwelcome. The poor cat is hiding from him, in its safe place, and the last thing either me or the cat wants is FIL in the bedroom.

It wouldn't bother me personally. My bedroom isn't some sacred chapel. It's where I sleep.

We have to go through our bedroom to get to the garden, so I’ve got used to people walking through my room now. But I can see why it annoys you

Meh I couldn't get het up about this. Do you have all your sex toys out on display or something?

Ask FIL not to go in there. Just say no. Doesn't matter if your DH agrees or not.

You don't even need to discuss with partner. Just tell FIL your bedroom is private and he's not to go in. If he doesn't respect that, then you've got a problem to discuss.

Well, I'd be upset that the cat had retreated, and clearly didn't want to be bothered, and that was ignored.

Then I'd be really quite annoyed that the cat had retreated to a space that it thought was a sanctuary, my bedroom, and yes, it is our sanctuary, and that privacy is not being respected.

What pp have said but also leave the poor cat alone. He won't get over his fear of strangers if you force him into it and seek him out. If FIL is quiet enough he may come out and investigate on his own. It won't happen if he goes rummaging around under the duvet and makes him more frightened

@Greatbigterribleshart

You are absolutely right. I hate it when people try to force any animal to interact with them. The poor cat is probably terrified. They aren't playthings, fgs.

So tell him. Poor bloody cat and I’d be pissed off with fil rummaging round.

@furrybadger

Yep he needs to leave the poor wee cat alone!

Buy a massive foot long dong, and leave it under the bed next time he visits! 🍆

OR as a pp suggested, get a lock on your bedroom door!