to be worried that my baby news will hurt others

[DieselSucker]

Hi. I've got pregnant recently due in December but I wasn't planning having any more kids after 40 yrs old. After the initial shock, we're starting to get more excited with the idea. The thing that is stopping us from being totally excited is that we've got two couples in our family have been TTC for a year or so ago and still no luck. One couple actually got pregnant but ended up MC in the first trimester. They were devasted and they didn't want to see anyone or talk about it.
If everything goes well for us, after the first trimester we're going to reveal our news but I'm not looking forward to that because I don't think we're going to have the same happy reactions we had with our previous pregnancies.

Well then maybe let it leak through the grapevine rather than any formal Facebook announcement or anything. Definitely nothing face to face. People need time to compose themselves in private if they're really struggling.

Just be sensitive with your announcements, that's all you can do OP. Members of your family may find the news hard to hear, and may find it hard to spend time with you. There's not a lot you can do about that apart from being understanding. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

@ElspethFlashman No we never announce in Facebook or other social media. Normally we tell family first. Then work and friends. When we tell my MIL and my Mum they normally spread the news quite quickly to the other relatives.

I'm not sure if on the grapevine is actually best as it still may involve being face to face with whoever is passing it on.

Maybe a brief email letting them know. Say you're not expecting a reply or anything, you know it's a tough time for them so just wanted to give them a heads up when they can read it quietly at home rather than hear by surprise from anyone else while out and about.

@Spudina Thank you

I really appreciated that my mum gave me the heads up on my sister's pregnancy news and then the birth rather than seeing it on SM (although I know you said you don't do that anyway) or having to face my sister directly.

The friend sent me a really nice text, she told told me before any of our other friends so I could be prepared.

The one time that I really struggled with a pregnancy announcement was being out with a group of friends post MC and having a friend announce it to us all at once. I just wanted to cry but equally felt selfish at having that reaction and so I felt horribly awkward and drained by the end of that meet up.

Also, congratulations btw. It might be hard for them to take at first but they really will be happy for you.

OP good for you for being so sensitive. I agree it’s best to let them know in advance of any announcement so they have time to process it. And congratulations .

I'm not very close to the SIL who had the miscarriage but my hubby is very close to his brother. I was wondering if would be a better idea for him to have a chat to his brother on the phone before we reveal to our Mothers.

@TwittleBee exactly I don't want to put them in that situation that you were. It must have been awful. We don't want to cause any awkwardness.
Thanks

@SerenDippitty thanks