To find friend exhausting?

[napalmskies]

Went out for dinner and drinks and he got really drunk and started crying and just sat there saying how shit his life was. Completely ruined the night - he cannot handle his drink.

This is a common occurrence. Not a one off.

Now he knows I’m out with a friend today and he’s been texting me saying how down his is today etc and I think he’s hinting at me calling him for a 2 hour conversation.

It’s just draining and I know I sound awful but I have my own shit going on too

. I am so sorry. I have had a friend like that myself. In the end I had to let the friendship go. Just too hard and I felt that I was her friend, but she wasn't my friend.

Thanks for being understanding x

So with you! Have got an EXHAUSTING “friend” I have listened to every moan and problem for 7 years, it is never reciprocated - I am distancing myself.

If you value the friendship, perhaps think about how to establish and maintain strong boundaries to protect the friendship. You absolutely have the right to a day out with a friend and not have a 2 hour chat with him on that day. Would you be comfortable sending a message back in this situation along the lines of "So sorry you are feeling so low. Perhaps I could call you for a chat on X day"?

That said, if you feel that it isn't really a friendship any more, and more of a chore, I don't think anyone would think badly of you if you distanced yourself.

Is he depressed?

I do understand how hard it is, having been in a similar position myself. It’s SUCH hard work when a friend isn’t well enough to give back and is so constantly needy.
But can also see that perhaps he just can’t help it.