Am I a horrible friend?

[icouldlieandsayilikeit]

I’ve spent 9 years discussing my friends relationship with her. Every single break up I’ve been there, and told her to stay broken up constantly.

Now he’s got someone pregnant and left her. It’s been a month and I’ve had 3-4 phone calls a day of her constantly crying and me just saying the same thing over and over!

There was one day where I was busy AT WORK and I had 3 missed calls and she started accusing me of not speaking to her.

I’ve started avoiding her calls now .,, am I awful?

Nope, not at all. Maybe suggest some counselling for her?

You’re not horrible at all. She sounds exhausting.

Friendship is two way. What is she giving you?

You have an emotional vampire on your hands. She will suck. you. dry.

It's time to withdraw from this 'friendship'.

No but she is. And you’re enabling her. You can be kind and sympathetic but doesnt sound like a friendship to me.

I'm just gobsmaked you've lasted 9 years. I'd have lost patience years ago.

It's pretty obvious that she's accustomed to you being her sounding board. After 9 years I'm not sure how you can break the habit. When she was still with him to should have said you're not listening to this anymore and when she's ready to get rid you'll be there as she doesn't listen to what you say.

Stop repeating yourself. Stick her on loudspeaker once a day maybe and just let her jabber on. Or don't be available anymore. If it carries on, tell her it's time she moved on with her life and what could you do to help that. Draft more friends in to take her mine off it type of thing.

Or give her a number for a councillor.

What a head wreck. Suggest to her that she gets conselling if she feels the need and tell you just are simply not trained to counsel her through this again. A neutral person will be able to help her see the relationship for what it was, a lie. If she can accept that you really don't have the energy to listen to her relationship woes and can meet up and talk about other stuff, then maybe the friendship can continue. But otherwise I'd distance myself for your own sanity.

There was one day where I was busy AT WORK and I had 3 missed calls and she started accusing me of not speaking to her.

'Don't worry, I've handed my notice in so that i can be there for you 24/7. I'll give up the house, the job, live on the streets all for you, so you don't have to go a few hours without support. Alternatively you could just get a fucking grip.'

I had a friend like this, supported her emotionally thro a really difficult break up/custody battle. Provided practical help- fed her and her kids every day.

Supported her in court when she applied to move abroad to be near her family.

Was there for her every day.

Then, one time I said I couldn't see her as I was taking my children swimming. She got the hump, came round in tears, I stood firm wanted time with my children.

She then ghosted me.

People like my friend and your friend are not true friends. They'll use you up and then move on when they don't get 100% attention.

I was upset at the time , but then started to feel relieved.

I suspect that as soon as you start becoming unavailable she kick you into touch - result! If a meeting becomes unavoidable, suggest you talk about something cheerful for a change.