What was the best thing you got when you had a baby?

[NewYoiker]

My friend has had a baby and hopefully I'll get to visit this month :) I don't have any children but we had a still birth at 33 weeks and a lot of miscarriages so we've given up, however we've never got to the point of getting any gifts which frankly was good as we did have to get rid of all the nursery stuff.

Anyway, please can you help me find a good present for a new mum/ baby? As I have no fucking idea anymore, if you'd asked me when pregnant I'd have said gin for me after pregnancy . There is a mamas and papas near me and a boots and a Jojo maman bébé so I can get a few nice things but I don't know what to get. Please help. This is the first time I've felt able to get a present for a friends baby after our loss which I know is awful but I really have struggled.

Sockons and money for takeaway/takeaway voucher.

The PJs that my Nan bought be are the presents I remember. Especially has they were buttoned so I could easily BF in them. They were so soft and so pretty too that I never felt a mess if I didn't manage to get dressed and stayed in those PJs all day.

P.S. it's not awful that you've struggled before to get gifts. You've been through a difficult time so I think your reaction had been perfectly normal. I couldn't be close to my sister during her pregnancy as I had a MC the day she announced she was PG and then couldn't bare the site of my nephew as I had another MC the day before he was born. So sorry for your losses and you are an amazing friend

You're a lovely friend. I'm sorry for your losses.

I agree on nice versions of essential things - they can buy Sainsbury's muslins themselves so Frugi or Bambino Mio are a nice choice. A Jojo babygrow in 0-3 as they come up short. I got Champneys, Sanctuary and L'Occitane shower stuff for me. Books for baby are a nice idea too.

I’m so sorry for your losses. You are a lovely thoughtful friend.

My bestie bought me brownies and a handbag. I will never forget it :)

A huge bottle of Malibu! Best present I ever got 😍

OP you sound like such a lovely person

We just got out long awaited rainbow in Feb and now my SiL is expecting so I’ve been thinking about all the most useful things we got :

• star wrap from tuppence and crumble - they do cotton one for summer - DS hates anything in his head so the hood is useful
• quality outfits/baby gros are lovely but I feel guilty if he wears only a few time before outgrowing. So I’d say buy big -we have a large gap in 6-9m size.
• we dIdnt have enough basic vests and DS hates us pulling them over his head - so cross over kimono style ones from H&M
• ‘socks on’ from jojo - they are a god send but more expensive than I’d have spent on ourselves
• my hands are so dry - hand cream
• DS loves sound toys - rain rattle, egg shaker
• cowshed do a lovely ‘udderly gorgeous’ range of lotions etc for mum
• a mug that said fabulous new mum - I normally don’t like novelty mugs but every time I made tea in this in the early days I felt a little more alive

All things you're not allowed in pregnancy like Serrano ham, pate, soft cheese and a nice bottle of champagne to wash it down. In fact, bring an indulgent picnic for you both to share. I would have absolutely of loved that!

Lots of great ideas here. Don't get any of those baby gros that only open down one leg. They look nice but are the work of the devil.

Sorry for your losses, you sound like a wonderful friend.
I have a 5 week old DD and the best gifts have definitely been food, anything I can eat one handed, the nicer the better (nice chocolates, or cereal bars). Though my mum made me a homemade cake when my DS was born and that was amazing! No ones done that this time .
For the baby, again as others have said a nice baby grow (not newborn or first size), I buy the cheap ones so it’s nice to have something nicer to put baby in but I personally can’t justify the cost. The other thing I would include is a pack of really nice muslins. I have still got all mine from DS but have brought another 4 packs since DD has been born as we go through them so quickly. It’s nice to have big soft ones!

I wouldn’t get blankets, I was brought loads of them. And personally I liked flowers but I totally agree that they can be a faff so not great for new parents!

I have brought several friends/family members baskets of gifts for the postnatal period and have had them brought for me! I include practical things such as nappies/wipes/cream/painkillers as the last thing you want to do is run out and have to go to the shops! Also little toys/rattles for baby to use when they're ready but what goes down the best is a big bar of chocolate for Mom, and a few beers for Dad!

The best present anyone got me was an expensive shower gel and body butter set. All the other gifts were for the baby, and my lovely Auntie was the only one who got anything just for me. I was so grateful for it and in the early days having a shower felt like the only 'me time' I ever got, so the bit of extra luxury was lovely.

Lovely soft cotton pyjamas! Long sleeve button through top. M&S ones. Best wishes for you OP you're a good friend.

A male friend, bit a of ladies man DJ lifestyle etc., turned up with a box of Lauduree macaroons and boxset of The Wire (pre Netflixs era) saying, 'don't know anything about babies but I don't suppose you two will be getting out much now'. It was a brilliant present.

So sorry for your losses.

One of the best presents that we got was a collection of books from friends who had older children and knew what they would grow to like. They spanned very early baby stuff like the “That’s not my...” series and “Dear Zoo” through things like Hungry Caterpillar and Tiger Who Came to Tea and Peach Pear Plum. He’s 2 and a half now and we still have a couple in the set for him to grow into.

When the baby is a newborn they are of course useless but it doesn’t take long before you want to show them the touch and feel type ones and this way they were there for me to give a try rather than me getting to a certain point and thinking “oh, I should but some books” and not knowing where to start. As he’s got older stories have of course become a huge part of bedtime and it’s been great to have had some pre-recommended choices.

IME you get loads of baby stuff, more than you could possibly need and some never gets used , but then have to buy a lot later as they grow out of the baby stuff into toddler things. I also liked how the books reminded me that I was one day going to have an actual child, not just a baby.

Thirding the Tuppence and Crumble star wrap

@Ragwort My mum paid for a cleaner for 3 months, that was great

I hope someone gets me this! A cleaner would be a godsend. I think I'd actually cry if someone bought me this.

Fancy shower gel is a great idea, and maybe some really good quality dry shampoo for those early days when a shower just doesn't happen!

Also, M&S do these amazing babygrow sleepsuits that have zips instead of poppers which was a complete lifesaver for newborn nappy changes in the middle of the night!!

Ewan the dream sheep.
Dd still sleeps with it now and she’s 8!

Onsies that zip up rather than poppers! So much easier for the new parents.

Get her that gin! Or a bottle of fizz. Some nice bath/body products and an enormous slab of chocolate.

You’re an ace friend. I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. Xxx

Sorry for your losses. You sound like such a kind friend.

Hot food!
We got a Gro Egg room thermometer which we found very useful
One friend got us a keepsake box from mothercare
Can't think of anything else really apart from obvious stuff e.g. baby clothes.